Hello survivors!
I remember when I first came on this forum, scared to death, I found a post of a women who was a IIIc and 5 years NED.
She said she irrigated, put a waterproof bandage over her stoma, and wore a bikini on the beach.
The idea of her living life, smiling, and having fun in the sun on the beach became *Goals* for me.
I'm too lazy to irrigate every day, and I work from home so it's not worth the effort.
However, I do irrigate for vacations, special occasions, and trips to the beach or lake.
It makes me feel so free and "normal" to just have a waterproof bandage in situations like this and not have to worry about odors or leaks.
Anyway, just thought of this forum today when I was working on my flower garden (my "Zen space" I read about here, but never got around to making one while going through treatment), and thought I'd check in.
I'm able to think further into the future now, but I can't say I ever stopped worrying completely the cancer would come back.
I wrote this on another post just now, but thought I'd copy/paste it here:
Going on 11 years NED.
When I was diagnosed, I was told I was as close to a stage IV as you could get without actually being a stage IV.
The radiation oncologist told me my chances were 50/50.
It was very scary and for months I believed I was going to die.
Obviously, I was wrong.
My oncologist told me after surgery that he believed I would be cured based on my response to chemo-rad. I didn't have a complete response, but I had a "pretty good" response with just trace cancer cells left.
I'll add this here:
Once my oncologist told me that, I stopped feeling depressed and I felt so much better.
I decided from that day forward to believe I was going to be cured until a test or something real told me otherwise. Life is too short to spending it feeling miserable that your life might be short.
That doesn't mean there hasn't been some sense of worry in the back of my mind, but it doesn't dominate my thinking (and emotions).
I cherish every moment i can spend with my family, especially my granddaughter, and I feel so grateful to still be here.
See you later!!