To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Please feel free to read, share your thoughts, your stories and connect with others!
JP66
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2024 8:42 am
Facebook Username: joseph peck
Location: Westchester, NY

To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby JP66 » Fri Jan 26, 2024 1:42 pm

As I see many on this board would agree, I try to stay positive in my thoughts. As such I was thinking it might be beneficial mentally to have a goal in the future. For instance I purchased a new boat last summer before I had my diagnosis and was planning on Wake Surfing behind it this summer. Obviously I don't think this summer is realistic since I will likely have a colostomy bag attached to my person, but I was thinking of making summer 2025 a new goal for Wake Surfing plus my darling and loving wife would love for us to visit Iceland which we might actually be able to swing this year in late summer.

So, anyways do folks here set goals in their mind or is it too risky and better to stick to smaller and closer in hopes?

Just wondering what others think :)

Joe
- Male 57 y/o
- TIIIbN+M1
- Stage IV (diagnosed 10/23)
- MSI status - ?
- KRAS non-mutant
- surgery - TME planned post chemo
- Modified Neo-adjuvant Therapy (I'm not sure why they call it "modified" although my guess is the chemo is FOLFIRINOX and not FOLFOX)
- tumor 3.9 cm craniocaudal length, 7.4 cm from AV, moderately differentiated
- 01/24 completed 27 treatments radiation+Xeloda
- CEA 8,10,11/23 1.8,1.3,1.6
- dihydroxi vit D 70.9 pg/ml

saltygirl
Posts: 152
Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 4:46 pm
Facebook Username: Salty.girl

Re: To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby saltygirl » Fri Jan 26, 2024 2:14 pm

I personally never gave up on my goals. I was on treatment (folfoxiri) during covid. And I flew to different destinations like Utah for skiing, Disney World in Florida. And visit my daughter in college in California multiple times. She was a student athlete and on campus. I had less than 1% survivor. Yet I am here 4 years later and no current treatment. Just got back from a ski trip. Heading to Turks and Caicos next week. Than on a cruise. And my big trip to Dubai and Maldives in March. Then to Europe for 2 months. Living the life. Don't stop living. Nobody knows when we will die. We all know that we will die. We only have promised today. Live your life everyday to the fullest!
Stage 4, distant lymph nodes May 2020, braf/kras mutations
11 folfoxiri
Intense radiation 1 week on distant lymph nodes
Surgery, hysterectomy, colon resection, distant lymph nodes resection
Complete pathological response to chemo.
NED 2021
NED 2022
NED 2023

rp1954
Posts: 1847
Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:13 am

Re: To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby rp1954 » Fri Jan 26, 2024 3:29 pm

JP66 wrote:As I see many on this board would agree, I try to stay positive in my thoughts. As such I was thinking it might be beneficial mentally to have a ...So, anyways do folks here set goals in their mind or is it too risky and better to stick to smaller and closer in hopes?

A drive for goals can be important to overcoming negativism and taking hesitant but important and decisive steps.

My wife had been contaminated with several doctors' doubt about her second surgery (2011) even though I had handled over half (3/4?) of all the interviews by myself.
The night before leaving for the hospital, she had an attack of doubt and avoidance, starting to back out - "is this just futile, that I am really doomed?"
I did not so much press all the technical advantages we had accumulated, I pointed out that this operation was about seeing her kids married and meeting her grandchildren - big goals still years away. Blew right through Dr(s) No and Elmer FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt).
watchful, active researcher and caregiver for stage IVb/c CC. surgeries 4/10 sigmoid etc & 5/11 para-aortic LN cluster; 8 yrs immuno-Chemo for mCRC; now no chemo
most of 2010 Life Extension recommendations and possibilities + more, some (much) higher, peaking ~2011-12, taper chemo to almost nothing mid 2018, IV C-->2021. Now supplements

JP66
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2024 8:42 am
Facebook Username: joseph peck
Location: Westchester, NY

Re: To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby JP66 » Fri Jan 26, 2024 5:35 pm

I can't believe I was even thinking of NOT having goals to look forward to.

Thanks to both of you.

Goals set and more to come for sure. Maybe my wife and I can do Iceland before my surgery!
- Male 57 y/o
- TIIIbN+M1
- Stage IV (diagnosed 10/23)
- MSI status - ?
- KRAS non-mutant
- surgery - TME planned post chemo
- Modified Neo-adjuvant Therapy (I'm not sure why they call it "modified" although my guess is the chemo is FOLFIRINOX and not FOLFOX)
- tumor 3.9 cm craniocaudal length, 7.4 cm from AV, moderately differentiated
- 01/24 completed 27 treatments radiation+Xeloda
- CEA 8,10,11/23 1.8,1.3,1.6
- dihydroxi vit D 70.9 pg/ml

Rock_Robster
Posts: 1017
Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2018 5:27 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Re: To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby Rock_Robster » Fri Jan 26, 2024 6:38 pm

My wife and I make plans or perhaps ‘ambitions’ rather than goals. The key difference being recognising where the locus of control truly lies, and making sure you aren’t setting yourself up for disappointment if you’re unable to do something in spite of your best efforts.

Bigger things - we book a lot of (flexible) travel. We may end up changing or cancelling it 1/2 or 2/3rds of the time, but we still manage to go and do way more than if we’d never made the plans in the first place. I’d love to get back to Japan soon, and the long-term ambition is likely to be Italy.

Smaller things - I go to the gym with my physio once a week and train twice at home. Some weeks I can’t do the last part, but I always do the 1:1 session at least.

We’re working on buying a house at the moment. But because my time and energy is limited, we’ve also hired a buyer’s advocate to give us more chance of success in a shorter time frame.

I’m working toward a new certification at work, but it’s flexible/virtual and I can work the sessions around chemo. As long as I can attend 7/10 of the workshops, I can still pass.

So yes, goals - but goals that also consider the reality of our lives at present.

Not sure if that ramble helped at all!
Last edited by Rock_Robster on Fri Jan 26, 2024 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
41M Australia
2018 Dx RC
G2 EMVI LVI, 4 liver mets
pT3N1aM1a Stage IVa MSS NRAS G13R
CEA 14>2>32>16>19>30>140>70
11/18 FOLFOX
3/19 Liver resection
5/19 Pelvic IMRT
7/19 ULAR
8/19 Liver met
8/19 FOLFOX, FOLFOXIRI, FOLFIRI
12/19 Liver resection
NED 2 years
11/21 Liver met, PALN, lung nodules
3/22 PVE, lymphadenectomy, liver SBRT
10/22 PALN SBRT
11/22 Liver mets, peri nodule. Xeloda+Bev
4/23 XELIRI+Bev
9/23 ATRIUM trial
12/23 Modified FOLFIRI+Bev

saltygirl
Posts: 152
Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 4:46 pm
Facebook Username: Salty.girl

Re: To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby saltygirl » Fri Jan 26, 2024 7:26 pm

I love listening to different podcast on cancer and attitude. There is a connection between staying positive and our healing response. Having goals and staying positive is SO important for us. Go enjoy Iceland with your wife before your surgery.
Stage 4, distant lymph nodes May 2020, braf/kras mutations
11 folfoxiri
Intense radiation 1 week on distant lymph nodes
Surgery, hysterectomy, colon resection, distant lymph nodes resection
Complete pathological response to chemo.
NED 2021
NED 2022
NED 2023

Siti
Posts: 269
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:58 am

Re: To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby Siti » Mon Feb 12, 2024 8:32 pm

For us, it depends what the goal is. Holiday trips, marathons, a new hobby, buying a car/boat, celebrations etc is a no brainer… We went for it.

For bigger commitments like buying a house, we hesitated in the first 2 years but decided to go for it, we ended up buying 2 properties in 2 different countries last year and are in the midst of starting renovation and then my husband’s cancer came back (he’s stage 4 since diagnosis almost 5 years ago). What can we do?

For starting a family, I wasn’t comfortable going into it knowing that at any time my husband’s cancer would come back and I can’t imagine juggling being pregnant/ raising a baby and a caregiver to my husband simultaneously. Till today, I’m not sure if I made the right choice since my time has pretty much ran out (I’m 41).

I think setting goals that you look forward to is important and we have hope that my husband will survive long enough to enjoy our new homes.
DH (54) DX on 5/7/19
Sigmoid|G3|LN:30/31|MSS|WT KRAS, NRAS, BRAF
7/19 PET distant LN para-aorta neck hip (0.5-1.5cm)
7/19 Lap resection
26/8 to 20/12/19 CAPEOX+Bev 7x
6/11/19 CT 3 cycle LN shrunk
1/20 Cap+Bev
4/20 TS-1+Bev due to bad HFS
NED 4 years
8/23 PET recurrence chest LN growing since Feb. CEA May(4.5>5.1>5.9)
9/23 Stopped Bev, CEA Sept(8.7) Radio 17x
11/23 PET 1+ supraclavicular LN, CEA (3.4>2.5)
12/23 Lymphadenectomy
1/24 Narrow margins, 1/5 +LN, 1.4cm +tissue, TMB (19)

saltygirl
Posts: 152
Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 4:46 pm
Facebook Username: Salty.girl

Re: To set a goal or not set a goal; that is the question.

Postby saltygirl » Tue Feb 13, 2024 4:27 pm

Siti,
Congratulations on your 2 homes. I also bought a property in another country. I was completely remodeling it during covid while I was diagnosed. I understand your concern about starting family. I am 47 and thankfully both my kids are in college. My daughter just did well on her Mcat. Applying to med schools. Oncology is one of the areas of her interest.
Stage 4, distant lymph nodes May 2020, braf/kras mutations
11 folfoxiri
Intense radiation 1 week on distant lymph nodes
Surgery, hysterectomy, colon resection, distant lymph nodes resection
Complete pathological response to chemo.
NED 2021
NED 2022
NED 2023


Return to “Colon Talk - Colon cancer (colorectal cancer) support forum”



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 7 guests