Humor or Just Foggy from Anesthesia?

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Humor or Just Foggy from Anesthesia?

Postby roadrunner » Mon Jun 20, 2022 2:09 pm

When things go decently with a surgery, I seem to find it therapeutic to post a humorous (to me, at least) aspect of the experience. Here goes:

So I just had another TAE this morning, this time for a rectal polyp. Odds are good it’s benign, since very small, not indurated or ulcerated, nothing showed on scans, my fabulous, super-experienced CRC surgeon thinks it’s benign, biopsies were negative. But as an old televangelist used to say “We’ll see, won’t we?” (Bet nobody guesses that one!)

Anyway, I had the following conversation with my wife a little while ago because these TAEs tend to cause a decent amount of bleeding at first:

Me (waits until teen sons are upstairs and deep in video games (these do in fact have a purpose other than destroying curiosity, creativity, and productivity!)):

“Um, hey honey. . . you don’t happen to have any of those, you know, um . . . panty liner thingies?”

Wife: “Yeah, I do, but I don’t think they’ll work for you.

Me: “Why not?”

Wife: “Your underwear is pointy.”

Me: (trying to work this out) “Huh?”

Wife: “Mine have a gusset in them.”

At this point I realized I was way out of my depth in this conversation, having never even heard the word “gusset” before. But I snuck upstairs anyway and retrieved the, ahh . . . product, jury rigged it (in nearly every other conversation jury rigging anything is in my view pretty manly, but here this seems in doubt . . .) and for those still reading, it seems to be functioning as intended despite my apparent anatomical shortcomings. As above, we’ll see…

P.S. For Father’s Day, I added to my previous advice to my sons (“Don’t get cancer.”). New maxim is: “Don’t have operations on your butt.”
7/19: Rectal cancer: Staged IIIA, T2N1M0
approx 4.25 cm, low/mid rectum, mod. well diff.; lung micronodule
8/22 -10/14 4 rounds FOLFOX neoadjuvant, 3 w/Oxiplatin (side effects/reduced 70-75%)
neoadjuvant chemorad 11/19
4 rounds FOLFOX July-August 2020
ncCR 10/20; biopsies neg
TAE 11/20, tumor cells removed
Chest CT 3/30/21 small growth in 2 nodules (3 and 5mm)
VATS 12/8/21 sub-pleural met 7mm.
SBRT nodule 1/22
CT 3/22: Clear
Thoracic CT 5/19/22 Clear
6/20/22 TAE rectal polyp benign

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