So I don't know really were to start besides I feel so alone and it seems like my dad is continuing to get worse which I honestly don't know to deal with . Friends and family just seem to kind of accept it and tell me there is no reason to get upset which honestly just upsets me more .But I guess I should start at the beginning as we wait to find out if they will do proton radiation on my dad things seem to be getting worse . Ever sense my dad's chemotherapy ended cause it wasn't working he has had increased pain in his backside . Palliative care thinks it's the cancer I sure hope not also my dad's mental state seems to be going downhill as I have noticed he can't find the right word alot . He is very confused at times as well as memory problems and trouble sleeping at night as well as sleeping to much during the day .
I feel like I am losing my dad little by little for the first time since he started this battle alot of the symptoms he is having according to google are end of life symptoms . I try to tell myself it's the chemotherapy which cause these things and maybe all the pain meds he is on as well as he smokes medical marijuana but it's hard not to think the worse .
To make matters even worse my dad recently lost his brother to cancer as well as my step mom's son in law passed from cancer which is really hitting us all hard . I don't know what I am really expecting from posting this it's just sad that some like myself have no support in the real world and I am thankful that places like this exist for those like myself who are alone to share these nightmares with . Thank you all for the support it truly means alot to me hopefully this isn't the end of the road for us but yet another bump in a road filled with many . As always your input and advice is welcomed cause honestly for the first time I have no idea what to do next I just feel so lost I don't know how to help my dad threw whatever god has in store for him .