Feeling alone and something is wrong

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worriedson714
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 4:27 pm
Facebook Username: jasonbeck

Feeling alone and something is wrong

Postby worriedson714 » Sat Nov 13, 2021 7:51 pm

Hello,
So I don't know really were to start besides I feel so alone and it seems like my dad is continuing to get worse which I honestly don't know to deal with . Friends and family just seem to kind of accept it and tell me there is no reason to get upset which honestly just upsets me more .But I guess I should start at the beginning as we wait to find out if they will do proton radiation on my dad things seem to be getting worse . Ever sense my dad's chemotherapy ended cause it wasn't working he has had increased pain in his backside . Palliative care thinks it's the cancer I sure hope not also my dad's mental state seems to be going downhill as I have noticed he can't find the right word alot . He is very confused at times as well as memory problems and trouble sleeping at night as well as sleeping to much during the day .
I feel like I am losing my dad little by little for the first time since he started this battle alot of the symptoms he is having according to google are end of life symptoms . I try to tell myself it's the chemotherapy which cause these things and maybe all the pain meds he is on as well as he smokes medical marijuana but it's hard not to think the worse .
To make matters even worse my dad recently lost his brother to cancer as well as my step mom's son in law passed from cancer which is really hitting us all hard . I don't know what I am really expecting from posting this it's just sad that some like myself have no support in the real world and I am thankful that places like this exist for those like myself who are alone to share these nightmares with . Thank you all for the support it truly means alot to me hopefully this isn't the end of the road for us but yet another bump in a road filled with many . As always your input and advice is welcomed cause honestly for the first time I have no idea what to do next I just feel so lost I don't know how to help my dad threw whatever god has in store for him .
My Dad was DX - 3/19 stage 3 rectal cancer
Folfox - 6/ 2019 threw 10/2019
Rad - 4/ 2019 threw 5/2019
12/ 19 - Abdominal Perineal Resection - Cancer left and permanent colostomy
9/21- Removal of prostate and bladder- Permanent Urostomy still cancer left
5/28/21 - Positive Biopsy Mostly necrotic tumor
6/14/21 - Sepsis with obstructive uropathy needed nephrostomy tube
7/19/21 Kidney infection
7/28/21-Started folfiri
8/3/21 - Blood Clots in lungs and leg
10/13/21 Chemo stopped

User avatar
beach sunrise
Posts: 557
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:14 pm

Re: Feeling alone and something is wrong

Postby beach sunrise » Sat Nov 13, 2021 10:34 pm

I feel you worriedson, it can be a very lonely place when no one understands and how could they really. I have been in your shoes a few times and recently as well. It's like a dark cloud you can't get out from under no matter which way you try to go compounded by family drama and selfishness. You got to find your place of peace and tranquility if only just for a little while to keep you going with support, patience and love with your dad and all he is going thru. I truly hope you find that place.
8/19 RC CEA 82.6 T3N0M0
Neoadj 5FU/rad 6 wk
High dose IVC 1 1/2 wks before surgery. Continue still twice a week
Surg 1/20 APR - margins T4bN1a IIIC G2 MSI- 1/20 LN+ LVI+ PNI-
pre cea 24/post 5.9
FOLFOX
7 rds 6-10 CEA 11.4 No more
7/20 CEA 11.1, 8.8
8/20 CEA 7.8
9/20 CEA 8.8, 9, 8.6
10/20 CEA 8.1
11/20 CEA 8's
12/20 CEA 8's & 9's
ADAPT+++ TM drug
MHL1+
PMS2+
MSH2+
MSH6+
POLD1 , KRAS Q61H
Chem-sens test NCI "Test failed, neo adj CR worked. Not enough ca cells to test"


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