Cancer tests relationships hard, and unfortunately many don’t make it through. Not everyone has what it takes to be a caregiver, whereas patients don’t get a choice in the matter.
Your feelings are totally understandable and natural. My only suggestion would be to consider talking this through a bit more with someone before you do anything too irreversible - if you don’t feel like you can discuss this with your husband now, then perhaps a counsellor/therapist first?
Best of luck,
2018 Dx RC, 12cm high
Mod diff, EMVI+ LVI+. 4 liver mets
pT3N1aM1a Stage IVa. MSS NRAS G13R
CEA: Nov-18= 14, Mar-19= 2.4, Aug-19 <2.0, Mar-20=2.2, May-20=1.9, Jun-20=2.1, Sep-20: 2.1, Dec-20: 2.3, Mar-21=2.5, Jul-21=3.1
11/18 FOLFOX x6
3/19 Liver resection
5/19 25x pelvic radiation; complete met. response
07/19 ULAR w ileo, 1/27 LN+
08/19 Found liver spot
08/19 FOLFOX x1, FOLFOXIRI x1, FOLFIRI x5
12/19 Liver resection
02/20 Ileo reversed
03/20 NED (CT/PET/MRI/scope) - latest scans Jul-21