Scan Anxiety

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utahgal7
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:04 pm

Scan Anxiety

Postby utahgal7 » Thu Sep 16, 2021 8:06 am

Hi,

I am really struggling with scan anxiety right now. My next scan is in 3 weeks. I am really scared. I know that I should be grateful that it has been almost 18 months since diagnosis and I haven't experienced a recurrence yet. Yet, cancer is such a mind f*ck....Cancer is constantly on my mind. It's like I can't shake the anxious thoughts. I have tried therapy and medications...it didn't help much.

Everyone on this forum that is fighting cancer....You are all my heroes. I look at this forum often to find strength from all of you.

Sorry to be blabbering on. Thanks for listening.

Love and light to all of you.


Paige
02/20 Rectal Cancer dx - 4 cm mass; located 9 cm from AV
03/20 CEA 2.7; 0.9; 1.4; 0.9; 0.9; 1.2; 1.0; 0.8; 1.1; 1.0; 1.1; 1.7; 1.8; 1.8
1.9; 2.4; 2.3; 2.8; 2.2, 2.8, 3.2; 3.0; 1.6; 2.0; 1.2
04/20 ST Radiation; 04/20 LAR surgery w/ileostomy; ypT3N1bM0; MSS, KRAS G12A
05/20 CAPEOX; 08/20 Ileostomy reversal
12/20 CT scan; lung nodules (watch and wait);
11/22 lung nodule biopsy positive for RC met;
1/23 VATS right lower lobe wedge resection
FOLFIRI 10 cycles

MadMed
Posts: 216
Joined: Sun May 02, 2021 5:52 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby MadMed » Thu Sep 16, 2021 9:31 am

Hi Paige,
I think your feelings are normal and natural. It's a scary thing. I got anti-anxiety meds too and that took a while to be effective, like at least a month. I am still anxious sometimes, but it's not debilitating. Sometimes it feels like this is happening to someone else! scans are moments of truth, but they're also snapshots in time, it
You've gone through the gauntlet and came out a winner, you are my hero! I am pre radiation/surgery, you accomplished all of that!
Wishing you a good scan results!
52M DX: RC lower rectum, guessing now 2cm from AV 4/27/2021
T3N0M0 adenocarcinoma with signet ring cell features
Tumor size 30mm
Tumor grade: G3
Baseline CEA 1.0
MSI status: MSS pMMR
Started Folfox 5/12/2021
Switched to FOLFIRINOX from session 2. 8 rounds total.
CT+MRI tumor contained shrunk 80%, no spread to other organs.
CRT started xeloda + 28 days Radiation 9/27-11/04
NED as of 4/06 CT/MRI/sigmoidoscopy
On W&W 04/06/2022

roadrunner
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:46 pm

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby roadrunner » Thu Sep 16, 2021 11:47 am

Paige: I’ve got a 90-day scan in about 3 weeks as well, and looking at our signatures there’s at least a little similarity between our situations. I am in a “watch & wait protocol,” so I have scans and exams basically all the time. I have been able of late to mostly cabin anxiety to the drive over to get scanned (though it builds up a little in the days before). Here’s what works for me, in no particular order (hope one/more of these helps):

(1) Exercise—I’ve gotten back to real running (though I’m only up to 2-3 miles a day). Huge help mentally, the harder the better. Afterwards I feel like I can deal with whatever comes. For a little while. Before I could run I walked lots, which also helped (but took longer);
(2) Distraction/“living life”: I have hobbies of playing guitar and fiction writing. I make sure I make time to do both. I’m halfway through two novels :roll: and I tell
myself I’ll focus on finishing them if I enter a Stage 4 situation (for some reason that’s comforting); I’m also lucky and blessed enough to have two teenagers, and I spend as much time with them (one has to “engage” with teenagers) as I can; finally, work helps;
(3) I try to remind myself that I’ll have many anxious times and many better times before my next group of scans, and I try to just accept them both, knowing that they will come and go;
(4) (this one is probably not for everyone) I try not to consider life “after cancer.” I want to die many years from
now pleasantly surprised that something else got me :D I am well aware that Stage 4 is a whole different thing, and much tougher than what I’ve dealt with so far, but I was pretty close to it before my last scans (VATS was offered), and I still don’t have an optimistic attitude about my long-term future, but I’m more than grateful and happy to enjoy every day now, if that makes sense. I feel like if I let myself hope for a cancer-free future, I would have a lot more anxiety now;
(5) I remind myself that stress increases the likelihood of metastasis—at least in mice, and yeah “mice lie and monkeys exaggerate,” but still—no thanks! That’s even my excuse for a drink now and again (still rare, maybe averaging 1/month since diagnosis, before it was 2/day);
(6) I try to focus on today (and perhaps tomorrow). 21 days is an eternity. The dude in the scanner will be an entirely different dude than right now. I’ll let him worry about it, not me.

Good luck to both of us! :D
7/19: RC: Staged IIIA, T2N1M0
approx 4.25 cm, low/mid rectum, mod. well diff.; lung micronodule
8/19-10/19 4 rds.FOLFOX neoadjuvant, 3 w/Oxiplatin (reduced 70-75%)
neoadjuvant chemorad 11/19
4 rounds FOLFOX July-August 2020
ncCR 10/20; biopsies neg
TAE 11/20, tumor cells removed
Chest CT 3/30/21 growth in 2 nodules (3 and 5mm)
VATS 12/8/21 sub-pleural met 7mm.
SBRT nodule 1/22
6/20/22 TAE rectal polyp benign)
NED from 3/22 - 3/23
4 cycles FOLFIRI
LUL VATS lobectomy for radio resistant met 7/7/23

utahgal7
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:04 pm

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby utahgal7 » Thu Sep 16, 2021 12:20 pm

Ismailmehdi:

Thank you for the kind words. Best of luck with your upcoming radiation/surgery. I hope you have a speedy recovery. Wishing you the best!
02/20 Rectal Cancer dx - 4 cm mass; located 9 cm from AV
03/20 CEA 2.7; 0.9; 1.4; 0.9; 0.9; 1.2; 1.0; 0.8; 1.1; 1.0; 1.1; 1.7; 1.8; 1.8
1.9; 2.4; 2.3; 2.8; 2.2, 2.8, 3.2; 3.0; 1.6; 2.0; 1.2
04/20 ST Radiation; 04/20 LAR surgery w/ileostomy; ypT3N1bM0; MSS, KRAS G12A
05/20 CAPEOX; 08/20 Ileostomy reversal
12/20 CT scan; lung nodules (watch and wait);
11/22 lung nodule biopsy positive for RC met;
1/23 VATS right lower lobe wedge resection
FOLFIRI 10 cycles

utahgal7
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:04 pm

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby utahgal7 » Thu Sep 16, 2021 12:27 pm

roadrunner:

-Thanks for all of those tips. Exercise is a good panacea for anxiety. I try to walk most days. I can't run because I have bad knees.
-Your hobbies sound like fun. I have always wanted to learn to play the violin.
-Distraction is good. Focusing on today and not tomorrow is excellent advice.
-I try to remember the old mantra, "what doesn't break you, makes you stronger."


Good luck with your scans.
02/20 Rectal Cancer dx - 4 cm mass; located 9 cm from AV
03/20 CEA 2.7; 0.9; 1.4; 0.9; 0.9; 1.2; 1.0; 0.8; 1.1; 1.0; 1.1; 1.7; 1.8; 1.8
1.9; 2.4; 2.3; 2.8; 2.2, 2.8, 3.2; 3.0; 1.6; 2.0; 1.2
04/20 ST Radiation; 04/20 LAR surgery w/ileostomy; ypT3N1bM0; MSS, KRAS G12A
05/20 CAPEOX; 08/20 Ileostomy reversal
12/20 CT scan; lung nodules (watch and wait);
11/22 lung nodule biopsy positive for RC met;
1/23 VATS right lower lobe wedge resection
FOLFIRI 10 cycles

DarknessEmbraced
Posts: 3816
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:54 pm
Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:14 am

I hope you get good scans. *hugs* It's natural to worry.
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17
NED 12/21/18
Clear colonoscopy 09/23/19
Clear 5 year scans 11/21/19- Considered cured! :)

utahgal7
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:04 pm

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby utahgal7 » Sat Sep 18, 2021 12:25 pm

Riann,

Awww, thank you for the hug. You are so sweet.

Take care,

Paige
02/20 Rectal Cancer dx - 4 cm mass; located 9 cm from AV
03/20 CEA 2.7; 0.9; 1.4; 0.9; 0.9; 1.2; 1.0; 0.8; 1.1; 1.0; 1.1; 1.7; 1.8; 1.8
1.9; 2.4; 2.3; 2.8; 2.2, 2.8, 3.2; 3.0; 1.6; 2.0; 1.2
04/20 ST Radiation; 04/20 LAR surgery w/ileostomy; ypT3N1bM0; MSS, KRAS G12A
05/20 CAPEOX; 08/20 Ileostomy reversal
12/20 CT scan; lung nodules (watch and wait);
11/22 lung nodule biopsy positive for RC met;
1/23 VATS right lower lobe wedge resection
FOLFIRI 10 cycles

Dennyp
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2020 9:28 pm

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby Dennyp » Mon Sep 20, 2021 10:49 am

utahgal7 wrote:Hi,

I am really struggling with scan anxiety right now. My next scan is in 3 weeks. I am really scared. I know that I should be grateful that it has been almost 18 months since diagnosis and I haven't experienced a recurrence yet. Yet, cancer is such a mind f*ck....Cancer is constantly on my mind. It's like I can't shake the anxious thoughts. I have tried therapy and medications...it didn't help much.

Everyone on this forum that is fighting cancer....You are all my heroes. I look at this forum often to find strength from all of you.

Sorry to be blabbering on. Thanks for listening.

Love and light to all of you.


Paige


I hear you, I have my scan 11/2 and I have begun to think about it. I don’t have anxiety about it yet but it creeps into my mind daily. I get scanned every 3 months it’s a drag.
5/19 IIIC sigmoid cancer 2/25 lymph nodes positive
5/19 surgery
7/19 FOLFOX 6 months
9/20 recurrence to single lymph node
10/20 FOLFIRI 5 rounds
1/21 surgery to remove lymph node
4/21 CT NED
8/21 CT NED
11/21 CT NED
2/22 CT NED
5/22 CT NED
8/22 PET NED
11/22 CT NED
3/23 PET lesion on liver
3/23 MRI confirmed lesion
4/23 liver surgery aborted lesion found on diaphragm
5/23 chemo started
7/23 CT shows shrinkage of lesion, consult scheduled with surgeon

utahgal7
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:04 pm

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby utahgal7 » Mon Sep 20, 2021 1:40 pm

Dennyp:

Thank you! Good luck on your upcoming scan!
02/20 Rectal Cancer dx - 4 cm mass; located 9 cm from AV
03/20 CEA 2.7; 0.9; 1.4; 0.9; 0.9; 1.2; 1.0; 0.8; 1.1; 1.0; 1.1; 1.7; 1.8; 1.8
1.9; 2.4; 2.3; 2.8; 2.2, 2.8, 3.2; 3.0; 1.6; 2.0; 1.2
04/20 ST Radiation; 04/20 LAR surgery w/ileostomy; ypT3N1bM0; MSS, KRAS G12A
05/20 CAPEOX; 08/20 Ileostomy reversal
12/20 CT scan; lung nodules (watch and wait);
11/22 lung nodule biopsy positive for RC met;
1/23 VATS right lower lobe wedge resection
FOLFIRI 10 cycles

Dennyp
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2020 9:28 pm

Re: Scan Anxiety

Postby Dennyp » Mon Sep 20, 2021 2:57 pm

You too!! We will both be fine!
5/19 IIIC sigmoid cancer 2/25 lymph nodes positive
5/19 surgery
7/19 FOLFOX 6 months
9/20 recurrence to single lymph node
10/20 FOLFIRI 5 rounds
1/21 surgery to remove lymph node
4/21 CT NED
8/21 CT NED
11/21 CT NED
2/22 CT NED
5/22 CT NED
8/22 PET NED
11/22 CT NED
3/23 PET lesion on liver
3/23 MRI confirmed lesion
4/23 liver surgery aborted lesion found on diaphragm
5/23 chemo started
7/23 CT shows shrinkage of lesion, consult scheduled with surgeon


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