The Colon Club

Last time, everyone seemed convinced I would recur - and in fact, I did.

Then Dr Kemeny ordered one round of 5FU + Vectibix to prep me for an ablation, then changed her mind and ordered 4 - and my met disappeared. She ordered 4 more "in hopes that will wipe it out forever" which she felt was possible given my past response. I made it to 3 before hitting critically low levels and not qualifying for the last.

If my math is right, that totals 36 rounds of chemo to get me to NED for a third - and hopefully lasting - time!

It feels different this time. The first time, I knew I wasn't done. The second time, I hoped I was. This time, I feel freer - although if i am 100% honest I am not sure that this has anything to do with my physical body at all. I have done a lot of therapy and feel like I am finally "healing" myself emotionally and can honestly say cancer has been the best worst thing that ever happened to me.

The night I got my all clear results, I went to bed and had a vision about what I could do next to pay it forward. It's ridiculous and impossible, but also hilarious and inspiring. Should it go forward, I promise I will tap this community to make it as good as it can be.

In the meantime, focused on trying to gain some weight and rebuild my strength. Still dragging unless I take half a Ritalin in the morning, which has been a fatigue lifesaver.

We have a new CEO at work, and I'm in prime position to make his transition easier. It's weird to look around and realize that after 26 years, you are one of the most senior people at the agency - like, how did that happen?? Just before Covid hit, I had it in my mind that I might want to be our CMO (we don't currently have one) but my CEO at the time didn't feel we needed one, nor did our COO who is still the person with whom I work most closely. But apparently the other day as they had a first meeting, the new CEO asked why don't we have a CMO, and he answered, "We essentially do - it's Gina. She just doesn't have the title." Which was exciting! At the same time, I have the sense that I may not be there in a year. Maybe my role will be helping to turn the page to new leadership / a new era, then leave it in the hands of my very capable direct reports. I would burst with pride to see what they would might be capable of accomplishing.

Trying not to spend too much time figuring it out. My future will find me, of that I am certain.

Gina:

I hope so too! You’ve fought long and hard for this high ground. I hope you enjoy it and claim it for always.

And don’t worry about paying it forward—you already have! I have followed your story since I was diagnosed over two years ago, and you have been an inspiration to me in dark times. In particular, a comment you made some time ago to the effect that “If cancer doesn’t kill me I wouldn’t change a thing” hit home for me, and has been a huge part of my reclaiming a positive outlook and energy to fight. (Here you said it’s “the best worst thing”) And I agree 100%!

I recognize that it is easier to say that in better times (where I am as well at present), and I don’t promise that I won’t get down or distracted if things go bad from here, but I think this is an incredibly powerful thought, particularly coming from someone like you, who’s really earned it. Honestly, at this point one of the greatest disappointments I’ll have if I bollocks it up from here is that the more focused, more empathetic, grateful, perceptive and caring post-cancer (I hope!) me didn’t have long to take on the world. But the good side is that maybe I’ll get to hang around with all those improvements in place. And I hope you do as well! Thanks!

This is great news and you are such an inspiration! Congratulations on NED and in your career!

Congratulations on being NED! I hope all goes well for you. *hugs*

There’s just something about you ! There really is ! Just delighted for you and very pleased to hear you have come to such a peaceful place too!
Looking forward to hearing your new life developments!
You have worked so , so hard in every aspect of your life !
Enjoy !
Stu

Congrats Gina! I have been inspired following your story.

Oh, Gina, so happy for you! I have followed your journey, cried when you had bad news, and always wondered how you were doing! If you meditate, this may sound familiar…“May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you live at ease”….xoxo from NJ

I was wondering how you were doing! So glad to hear your good news, congratulations!
It was encouraging to read... I see Dr.Connell at MSK and am currently doing Folfiri and working my way towards a #3 as well.
Fingers crossed!

Gina!!!!!!

I'm currently sitting on the porch, drinking a beer, watching the kids play on the swing set we built over the last two days. And here I thought my day just couldn't get any better!

I'm thrilled that you find yourself in NEDville. How about you stay there for good, okay?

I get a MRI, labs and a visit with the oncologist Monday. It's been six months since my last visit and I can say cancer, chemo and all the other bullshit really hasn't even crossed my mind.

I can't wait to hear about the next chapter in your journey!

I’ve been following your journey, Gina and you’re certainly a warrior! The company is lucky to have you and I wish you and your loved ones a wonderful year ahead.

YAY!!! So so happy for you. Look at Stu's mom - she had several setbacks, but got cured eventually. It seems to be the case for some: the cancer will come back, get knocked down, comes back, get knocked down, and eventually stops returning. Let this be your story, too!