My husband has passed

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My husband has passed

Postby Momserati » Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:36 am

After 18 months of fighting stage iv colon cancer, diagnosed on 8/26/17 at Summit overlook hospital in NJmy husband, age 49 passed away March 27th. At the time he was diagnosed it had already spread to his liver and lungs, later to his bones and eventually to his brain. He had brain surgery on January 2019, they removed a large tumor and later did gamma knife on other smaller tumors. He also did Y90 on his liver and was doing ok until 10 days ago when he woke up and started getting confused. I called an ambulance immediately as he wasn't even able to answer basic questions like " what is your name?" . They gave him a Narcan shot while in the ambulance in case he was overdosing from pain meds and he got a seizure right before getting to the hospital. I'm not sure this seizure was due to the injection or if it was due to the new brain tumor they found later on the same spot where the large tumor was removed. the doctors at the emergency room asked me if I wanted to start hospice there and it was probably one of the hardest decisions I had to make so far. They told me they would not perform CPR if needed, use any antibiotics if for infections or even do any more scans or bloodwork. I decided on what was best for him and since he always had so much pain from his bone mets decided to started hospice right then. He spent the next 3 days with a morphine drip and pain-free. On Wednesday morning I started noticing his breathing changing and realized that the sound was what I had already googled before and what is called the death rattle. He was surrounded by me, his mother, his brother and his best friend. My 2 boys aged 9 and 11 years old were able to visit him the day before while he looked peaceful since he was under heavy medication for pain and they assumed he was just resting. My 2-year-old is too young to understand anything so she did not come to the hospital. I'm still numb and unable to process what happened. I don't cry much because my brain keeps blocking any negative thoughts. I know at some point it will hit me and it worries me since I have 3 young children to look after. My mother passed away from pancreatic cancer at the age of 47 and it took me 2 months to start the grieving process. Anyway, just wanted to share my story as let everyone know that i will forever love my husband and make sure my children will forever remember him as a great dad and an amazing husband.
Last edited by Momserati on Thu Apr 04, 2019 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: My husband has passed

Postby hopie » Thu Apr 04, 2019 10:14 am

Momserati, i'm so so sorry for your loss. he was so young and had a lot more to live. it's so unfair to him, you, your kids and everyone around him. i'm out of meaningful words, so i'll just say that i'm wishing you lots of energies to cope. please let me know if i can be of help in anyway. sending lots of hugs.
Caregiver to my super-mom (62), diagnosed Dec 2018
Sigmoid colon, Stage IV
G3, Poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma (5,5 x 4 x 1 cm)
13 positive out of 23 lymph nodes, largest one 1,8 cm
4(?) mets in liver, located at Segment 3 & 7, largest one 2 cm
LVI & PNI present
Clear surgical margins
MSS, KRAS G13D mutant
Laparoscopic anterior resection, Jan 2019

First chemo 11 Feb 2019 (Folfox). 25/2/19 Folfox + Avastin.

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Re: My husband has passed

Postby Momserati » Thu Apr 04, 2019 10:15 am

Thank you very much

Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:02 pm

Re: My husband has passed

Postby WarriorSpouse » Thu Apr 04, 2019 11:00 am

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
D/H 47 years old, 10/2014, Stage IV M/CRC, nodes 12/15, para-aortic, 5 cm sigmoid resection, positive Virchow. KRAS mut, MSS, Highly Differentiated, Lynch Neg, 5FU/LV and Avastin 1 YR (Oxi for 5 months), Zeloda/Bev since 01/2016. 02/2019 recurrence para-nodes, back to 5FU/LV Oxy/Bev. It is working again. "...Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other."-Walter Elliot

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O Stoma Mia
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Re: My husband has passed

Postby O Stoma Mia » Thu Apr 04, 2019 11:41 am

Momserati -

I am very sorry to hear the sad news of your beloved husband.


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Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2019 11:00 am
Location: Boston MA

Re: My husband has passed

Postby debsta » Thu Apr 04, 2019 12:07 pm

Momserati -

We are so sorry for your loss.

May God rest his soul in peace.

Love and strength to you and your family.

- Carl and Deborah
Caregiver of DH age 68 at DX w/Stage IVb rectal adenocarcinoma - mets in liver and both lungs
MSS MMRp Kras/Braf/Ras all wild-type TMB 3.04 poorly differentiated CEA 14.7
2/2019 Clinical Trial at Dana Farber - mFolfox6, Avastin, Nivolumab
9/13/2019 CEA 1.0 67% reduction by Recist dropped Oxaliplatin due to neuropathy

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Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2019 2:42 am

Re: My husband has passed

Postby Robz » Thu Apr 04, 2019 12:46 pm

I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. This disease sucks.

Posts: 474
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2018 4:29 pm

Re: My husband has passed

Postby Punky44 » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:01 pm

So very sorry for your loss.
Caregiver to my amazing mom (68 at dx)
10/1/18 DX with rectal cancer; CEA 17
Total neoadjuvant therapy:
8 rounds Folfox 11/5/18 - 2/11/19
Short course radiation 3/14/19 - 3/20/19
Robotically assisted laparoscopic LAR 3/21/19
Pathology report says yT2N0M0 with 0/38 nodes
6/28/19 Reversal and port out
CEA 2.1; 1.9; 2.6; 2.8; 2.3; 2.4; 3.0; 3.4
Latest update: 3/22/21: CEA 3.4

Me: 34, first colonoscopy 11/16/18—normal! Come back in 5 years.

Posts: 489
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 2:41 pm
Location: Montana

Re: My husband has passed

Postby Claudine » Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:44 pm

So very, very sorry to read this today. I understand your concerns about your children; but children are amazingly resilient and will be fine. It is most important that you take care of yourself, I hope you have close friends and relatives to help you during these terribly difficult moments.
Wife of Dx 04/18 (51 yo). MSS, KRAS G12A
No primary (involuted?)
Lytic tumor L4 vertebrae, EBRT 04/18, SBRT 02/19
Resect small intestine 05/18 (no cancer - Crohn's)
Failed adjuvant Xelox
Folfiri + Avastin 03/19 to 01/20
6.7 cm left adrenal mass 03/19, successful resection 02/20
CEA since 03/19: high 58, low 3.2, now 75.5
Scan 03/19: Multiple small lung nodules, now gone
PET 04/20 uptake by L4
L3-L4-L5 fusion surgery and partial corpectomy 05/20
Scan 03/21: stable

Posts: 304
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:31 am

Re: My husband has passed

Postby zephyr » Thu Apr 04, 2019 4:23 pm

I'm so very sorry ... sending peaceful energy your way.
Nov-2009 Early stage CRC found during routine colonoscopy
2010, 2011, 2014 F/U colonoscopies, all clear
Jun-2016 CRC during followup colonoscopy, surgery, Stage 4, KRAS, MSS, inoperable lung mets
Aug-2016-May-2018 Folfox, 5FU & Avastin, 5FU, Folfiri & Cyramza
Aug/Sep-2018 YAG laser surgeries (Germany), 11 nodules removed
Nov-2018 clean CT scan
Mar-2019 New lung nodules
Apr-2019 Dec-2020 Xeloda/Avastin, SBRT, cont. Xeloda/Avastin
Dec-2020 Progression, considering all options
Mar-2021 Forfiri/Avastin

Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Mar 23, 2019 9:52 pm

Re: My husband has passed

Postby Jen43 » Thu Apr 04, 2019 5:24 pm

I am so sorry for your loss

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Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:03 am

Re: My husband has passed

Postby Meerkat » Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:26 pm

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending positive thoughts for you and your babies.

Milk Tea
Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2019 1:14 pm

Re: My husband has passed

Postby Milk Tea » Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:23 pm

I am so sorry. Please do take good care of yourself because you need to be strong for your young children. Sending you strength and peace at this difficult time.
Wife to DH
09/2016: Dx at 50, CC Ascending colon, 10+ liver Mets
09/2016: Nearly blocked, Emergency colon surgery (LAR)
FOLFOXIRI+Avastin: 6 before and 6 after liver resection
01/2017: Liver resection, open, both lobes, 40% total liver cut, tumors either cut out or microwave ablation burn, all tumors are out
02/2017-01/2019 : Clean CT every 3-4 months, CEA between 2-3
06/2017-Present: Maintenance Chemo: Xeloda + Avastin

Posts: 127
Joined: Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:48 pm
Location: Phoenix, Az

Re: My husband has passed

Postby martd » Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:26 pm

I'm sorry you had to go through this..
Wishing you some good days

49 y/o male dx 11/2017 crc
Stage 4 with 17 liver Mets, cea 490
12 rounds folfox , avastin
5/18 cea 2.8 liver resection and pve
7/18 part 2 liver resection, remove right side of liver
Surgical site mrsa infection, wound vac
8/18 cea .9 cCR, rectal tumor is gone
Rectal surgery postponed, watch and wait
10/18 clear scan CEA .7
01/19 clear scan CEA .9
04/19 clear scan CEA .9
07/19 clear scan CEA 1.0

Posts: 188
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:03 pm
Location: NJ

Re: My husband has passed

Postby debb » Thu Apr 04, 2019 10:12 pm

My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Stage 3C, Dx at 42, mom of 4
Colon resection 7/08
Folfox 9/08-2/09
Met to right ovary, both ovaries removed 7/10
HIPEC 8/10
VATS 7/12, 2 nodes, right lung
10/14 3 lung nodes, Stivarga clinical trial
3/15-7/15 Folfiri & avastin for lung things
8/16 Folfiri & avastin..lung things again
Break! 10 months of freedom
1/18 rib mets, radiation, folfiri & avastin
1/19 rib mets again, radiation, folfiri & avastin
3/20 8 treatments of folfiri & avastin
12/20 folfiri & avastin

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