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O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:43 am
by CRguy
OK it seems
been here for a lotta years

been through reams and reams and reams .....
and a lotta tears

seen friends come
seen friends go

wanna HOLD on
need to let them go

some times
gotta let them go

so it seems
after years and years

gotta figure out
BUTT then the tears

after ALL these
after ALL THESE
after all these years

how do we lettem'
......go

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:23 am
by [Ana & Alex]
Dear CRguy....

Life is such a blessing. But.

Sometimes to be the one left behind while our loved ones move forward to another state of being seems such a hard punishment for staying alive.

It doesn't get any easier, we just learn to let go of our grief and sorrow to a melancholic state while trying to keep memories alive.

I don't believe in anything espiritual, but I do believe that love is a powerful force that allows us to live inside each other.

I hope you can live the loved ones you miss so terrible inside yourself, inside your days, and that this void they left behind became more tolerable each day...

Love,
Ana

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:29 am
by JudeD59
Love ya, CR Guy. So sorry there is so much heartbreak mixed in with the love and laughter on this board. The rest of us can take a step back when the losses hit too hard, but you are here day in and day out with no break from the tears. Maybe you need to take a couple of days away to grieve for BB. We need you to take care of yourself first and the board second.

I wish I could tell you how to let go, but I'm not very good at it myself. I guess we just hang on to the good memories and know that the pain of the loss will come in waves, pounding your heart and soul, but receding a bit more, then a bit more, and a bit more, over time. And we can realize that without this board, we wouldn't have had the chance to get to know and spend time with those we eventually lost. They never would have touched our lives at all. We did meet them, shared with them, cared about them, and now we honor their memories by remembering them and sharing what they taught us about life with new members.

Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us, CR Guy.

Judy

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 2:30 am
by Lovenothate
CRguy,

Perhaps we are not meant to let go. When someone we love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. It is our responsibility to hold on to their spirit and thoughts. It is our duty to allow their essence and beauty into our own journey!

I completely agree with Judy. It is of utmost importance that we allow our souls to heal because we still have a lot of work to complete in our own lives. I am sending love and healing energy to you. CRguy we're all here for you too. Don't forget that!

With love,
Em

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 3:39 pm
by alphagam
CRGuy......

We don't let go....it's always with us...today I took food to a close friend.....her daughter committed suicide last week....I told her I was SO sorry, but I didn't gave any other words and I don't.

Kathy

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 4:58 pm
by Lee
(((CRGuy)))

Sometimes, time is the only remedy/cure.

And I do believe a bit of there spirits lives within us. As long as we are alive, remember and honor them, they are very alive within us too.

Thinking of you and of Eric.

Lee

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 8:29 pm
by chrissyrice
CRguy,

Perhaps we are not meant to let go. When someone we love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. It is our responsibility to hold on to their spirit and thoughts. It is our duty to allow their essence and beauty into our own journey!

I completely agree with Judy. It is of utmost importance that we allow our souls to heal because we still have a lot of work to complete in our own lives. I am sending love and healing energy to you. CRguy we're all here for you too. Don't forget that!


Beautifully said Em

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 12:00 am
by CRguy
Since y'all indulging me ... :shock:
and I thank you all for that and each and EVERY reply I have received in all the topics, and PMs and emails
THIS place is family to me, so I will share a bit more with you

Sometimes I just kind of go stream of consciousness
and post words which are really my energy
BUTT I don't "write" them if you can accept that
I don't "compose" or "create" them

the words just come and I write them down
It is the most direct way for me to share my energies with my family

Eric and I shared a whole lotta stuff
he "knew" and I "knew" things were not going well

we just didn't speak the words that needed to be said
we were still just there for each other, like so many of us HERE are always ... there for each other

My stream of consciousness lyric above is more about me dealing,
than me letting go ... if that makes any sense

how do we lettem'
......go


We don't

We set THEM free of our restraints / bondage / constrictions .....

and in doing so ... we "let them go" to ride 10,000 miles
and soar 10,000 feet
and smile 10,000 smiles
NEVER in defeat

THEY are the winners
we sit here in retreat

they touched us
they left us

we are better
'cos they shared

they challenged life and showed us what it means
to having dared ...
TO LIVE

LIFE fullest
no remorses no regrets

BUTT

just remember friends
we always need
to BE
to FEEL
to LOVE

as every sun will set

another rises and lights up every day

and loved ones having gone
reveal the truth and honesty

at every days new dawn

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:34 am
by bitchslapped
CRguy wrote:
how do we lettem'
......go


We don't

We set THEM free of our restraints / bondage / constrictions .....

and in doing so ... we "let them go" to ride 10,000 miles
and soar 10,000 feet
and smile 10,000 smiles
NEVER in defeat

THEY are the winners
we sit here in retreat

they touched us
they left us

we are better
'cos they shared

they challenged life and showed us what it means
to having dared ...
TO LIVE

LIFE fullest
no remorses no regrets

BUTT

just remember friends
we always need
to BE
to FEEL
to LOVE

as every sun will set

another rises and lights up every day

and loved ones having gone
reveal the truth and honesty

at every days new dawn


E-X-A-C-T-L-Y...AND to that I reply to an 'ol rocker, such as YOU, w/Norman Greenbaum's hit that has been in over 20 movies & commercials to include the movie Apollo 13 w/Tom Hanks:

https://youtu.be/o49FhjfLbco

Of all the beautiful melodies, touching prose from hundreds of songs, it is THIS that sets ME free to feel & deal...AND...the LOUDER, the better!

BS

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 6:09 pm
by juliej
CRguy wrote:We set THEM free of our restraints / bondage / constrictions .....

and in doing so ... we "let them go" to ride 10,000 miles
and soar 10,000 feet
and smile 10,000 smiles
NEVER in defeat

THEY are the winners
we sit here in retreat

they touched us
they left us

we are better
'cos they shared

Beautiful, CRguy. Just beautiful.

This whole cancer-journey-thing has allowed me to develop some deep friendships with an amazing group of fellow travelers. We may have lost a good part of our innocence along the way, but in turn we tend to travel light, be clear-eyed, and share a tendency to seize every damn minute of every damn day. Our relationships quickly achieve an emotional intensity and intimacy that wastes little time. However, the gifts our friendships bring come with the hefty price of heartbreak. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Eric's death is a devastating loss for me, eased a little only by the memory of what a pleasure and honor it was to have known him.

As Eric would say, life should be lived one day at a time. Right now I'm trying to do just that.

xo,
JJ

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:00 pm
by CRguy
juliej wrote: Our relationships quickly achieve an emotional intensity and intimacy that wastes little time.
However, the gifts our friendships bring come with the hefty price of heartbreak. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

word

in humble harmony
CR

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:28 am
by kiwiinoz
CR Guy
Eric meant so much to so many of us that it hurts that he is gone.
I missed his presence from this board before he passed but I always took solace in the fact he was living life in the real world.
My thoughts are also with his wife
Kiwi

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 9:21 am
by WarriorSpouse
You never let them go CR Guy... They are with you forever. Just like the teacher or coach you have not seen for decades, but are with you in every decision you make. They are there with you forever. Embrace their good and hold on to it tightly. That is the only way you can share their efforts to others in what you do here.

It is difficult to witness the emotional pain here sometimes, but it surely strengthens our purpose to understand, support and lead. Keep on leading CR Guy... You have many experiences that some here are just getting to understand.

We all appreciate you, and the others here that have got our heads around this difficult stuff... Those that pass on will be seen by all of us some day, sick or not; and I look forward to expressing my personal thanks to them when that time comes.

Thank you for all that you do CR Guy:)
WS

Re: O/T ... please indulge me for a sec !

Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:29 pm
by teachpdx
Damned you CR - you made me cry. I don't cry much these days and hearing about BB really sent me for a loop and I cried, and then got off my ass and did something because I COULD.

I NEVER forget those who have gone. I don't delete their numbers off of my caller ID. I don't delete their voicemail. Every time I scroll through my callerID and see their names it's a testament to their existence and our relationship - so I can't forget.

I know what you mean about not writing. The few times I've been blessed to have my hand be a conduit for the muses - the things I've written still surprise me to this day.

I'm sorry for your pain butt I've realized that having pain is better than not having pain - it's the price for life and I now embrace strong emotions because it means that we've lived.

Peace to you CR and hopes for a new journey and thanks making me cry.

Kristi