Locked Up - Free Speech Topic

[eitter]

So much for Free Speech! LOL

Seriously come on you all...I am not sure starting a thread to condemn one person and attack them is in.....thinking of the word to use and I can't right now. Or maybe the intent was not to attack one person, but the ideal that person had, nonetheless, not sure it was appropriate. And that could not have been the intention, but it sure came across that way.

There is a button you can push if you feel a topic or a person is inappropriate in what they are saying and then deal directly with the moderators on the subject vs.. attacking the idea or person in a open forum, not only is it hurtful but perhaps even rude and that goes for both sides.

I am always amazed what some people can say about other people public or private, but when it is public and then everyone swarms in and feeds off of it....it turns ugly quickly and my goodness you guys, this is a public forum.

We have to remember that NO ONE is licensed to give medical advice here, perhaps there are some doctors lurking around, but even at that they aren't your doctor. And Articles are not full proof and by no means 100% accurate either.

But the jest of everything is we all make spelling errors and maybe we will say 50% and we meant to say 5%, or I may say too and meant two. And if any of us need to correct some one just do it in a loving way as you would want it done to you and then do not attack someone for making a correction especially if it needs to be corrected.

And I have also seen to much chatter that should just go back channel, meaning PM that person and if you do not know what I am talking about, let me know and I will explain.

In closing, WE ARE ALL HERE because Cancer has ravaged our life in some way, whether it be ourselves or a loved one and on ANY given day ANY of us can be in a pissy mood and WATCH OUT whoever gets in the way. For myself, my tolerance is so short anymore, and I break easily and may snap and have snapped for no reason. We have to all expect that and realize that any of us could be snapping daily weekly, or even every hour, so please keep that in mind. I have met several of you and unfortunately we all can't meet and wish we could, I will shamelessly admit that once I met a few people my opinions of them changed for the better, sometimes our personalities do not come out right on the boards as they do in person!

And I think I will stop rambling, I think you all get what I am saying and understand what I am saying, I hope. And if there is anything or any post you want deleted that you may have written let me know and I can do that. If not I will keep the threads in tact for history sake unless I hear otherwise after consulting with the other moderators.

[tdsamal]

Thank you so much! Unfortunately we are all in this together whether we want to be or not!

[Russian27]

Was there a fight and I missed it?
Dear clubbers have a great fight free day!

[missjv]

no it was just me getting a lecture. won't happen again cause i have nothing else to say here except i hope everyone does well and good luck!

missjv

[cptmac]

Since I started this topic, I thought it was hilarious..... Perhaps it was something I said....

The intent of my post was to state that everyone has the right to post whatever they want and that I shall not be silenced, with the exception of this board, about what I have to say.... It was also my intent to support other posters who have felt bullied into being silenced.

Some posters have had the opportunity to say a lot, with over 5,000 posts... Other posters may not post that much, but what they have to say is equally important.

Free Speech locked up....

[betsydoglover]

It is interesting from a "communications" POV to see how an initial article with a common misconception (not differentiating liver mets from liver cancer) can lead to such a dramatic discussion.

I think it was time to end the conversation, and think everyone should be friends again. And, I realize that I rarely post, so have few rights, but gosh, we are all in the fight for our lives. Coming here provides support and information to research. Hopefully no one expects definitive answers - none of us our each others docs. But we hear things, find about possibilities and hopefully have some better questions to talk with out docs about.

Take care all,

[Russian27]

Oh now I understand... I am also very fragile emotionally. Get offended easily. And I cry a lot watching movies even cartoons. I am also stage IV and I love when people tell good survival stories. Please more stories! I enjoy them very much! You can tell me the same story every day I am gonna still enjoy it! Let me change the subject.
Have you guys seen a show Everest Beyond the Limit? Awesome! Needless to say I cried...

[weisssoccermom]

Betsy,
I wasn't going to post anything here because sometimes I think that the more we post about a 'locked' topic, the more heated the discussion gets. But, I wanted to tell you that regardless of how much you or anyone posts or doesn't post has nothing to do with whether or not your (or anyone's) opinion is valid, whether it's meaningful or most importantly, to address what you said, whether you have rights. Pish tosh! (See how old I am!) Everyone here is equal. We all count, we all matter, we all have differing opinions......end of story. You're right though. We all should be friends and I highly recommend that we truly to end this topic or it will start into another problematic thread.
We're here to help and support each other!
Jaynee

[betsydoglover]

Thanks, Jaynee - I really appreciate your comments.

[starbuck30]

Well, Jaynee beat me to it. I too was going to say to you, Betsy, that no matter how often you post, your advice and rights are just as valid as someone who posts all the time. I, for one, am always glad to hear from you.

Much love,
Starbuck

[betsydoglover]

Starbuck - thanks - guess I need to be less paranoid!

[PGLGreg]

And if there is anything or any post you want deleted that you may have written let me know and I can do that.

I want this post of yours deleted, since locking a thread and then getting your own licks in is in bad taste and an abuse of moderators' privileges.

[carolyn5]

I think it was Hannah who locked the original thread and not Liz? BUT, I was strongly considering opening the topic back up myself. IMO- Hannah's posts were... well.. uncalled for. The remark about taking legal action rubbed me the wrong way as well, as did what appeared to be a very personal attack on missyjv, and then to lock it up real fast so no one else can disagree with you? Perhaps it was not your intention, but it is what it looked like. And to fall back on the fact that you are a moderator and can do whatever you want.... IDK- I felt it was all inappropriate. I dont post here very often- but I do read most posts.
May I suggest if anyone has PERSONAL issues with another, perhaps PMing that individual is the way to go.

[eitter]

Carolyn...to answer you so everyone can see I locked the topic, only moderators can lock topics and we do that SOMETIMES and not even often to stop onflow of comments. And I know so many want to jump on the band wagon even if to condemn what people were doing but at some point it has to stop before people get hurt and people/person were hurt and it was to late.

I was accused of blaming the person who started the topic for being totaly at blame and that is far from the truth. I did not and still do not know who all was involved, you know who you are. And my biggest point was that some of you hurt someone whether you meant to or not.

We should really be here to support eachother and build eachother up.

[hannahw]

I think it was Hannah who locked the original thread and not Liz? BUT, I was strongly considering opening the topic back up myself. IMO- Hannah's posts were... well.. uncalled for. The remark about taking legal action rubbed me the wrong way as well, as did what appeared to be a very personal attack on missyjv, and then to lock it up real fast so no one else can disagree with you? Perhaps it was not your intention, but it is what it looked like. And to fall back on the fact that you are a moderator and can do whatever you want.... IDK- I felt it was all inappropriate. I dont post here very often- but I do read most posts.
May I suggest if anyone has PERSONAL issues with another, perhaps PMing that individual is the way to go.

You should get your facts straight before making accusations. I'm not a moderator. I have nothing to do with the running of this board. I did not lock the thread. You should take your own advice, if you have a problem with me, you are free to bring it to me directly rather than discussing me, and the way I post, in an open forum.

My "personal attack" was no worse than the personal attacks that have been made against people such as Gaelen and myself in the past. Those threads were locked, but not deleted. In many cases, there was no opportunity for the attacked person to respond. And I'm fine with it because that's the prerogative of the the people who own and maintain this message board. They run it as they see fit. I signed the "terms of use" agreement. If I don't like the way the board is run, I'm free to leave. The same is true for everyone else here.

The reality is that when a topic turns into an attack, it is closed to prevent it from getting further out of hand. It is not the responsibility of the moderators to make sure everyone gets a say. Rather than fan the flames, they simply remove the fuel.

Grow up. People disagree. Sometimes strongly. Disagreement does not equal infringement on your (non-existent in a private message board) right to free speech. When you post in an open forum you are essentially agreeing to take responses from all comers, including responses that don't support your position. It would be nice if we all agreed, but in the world of cancer there's fear, powerlessness and subjectivity that basically ensures we aren't all going to see things the same way.

The very thread that started this whole thing was a personal attack against Gaelen. It may not have been intended that way, but it was hurtful. And it was followed by a personal attack by missjv who apparently thought the attack was somehow more acceptable because she omitted the name of the person she attacked.

There is an incredible amount of hypocrisy on this board. People want their "free speech" protected by limiting the speech of others. People want one standard for themselves and another standard for others. If you're a "hope" poster, fine. But that doesn't mean everyone here has to be. It's not an affront to you, or to hope, to have someone share the flip side of the coin.

In the past few months there have been, imo, some very dangerous posts made here in response to questions about treatment and care. Some people have been dealing with very sick family members and they come here for advice. These moments tend to be desperate ones, when a mix of fear and powerlessness conspire to convince someone they might be better off taking the advise of a stranger on the internet over the word of their doctor. There's a difference between advising someone to get a second opinion and going completely off the rails. The answer to every cancer question is not, imo, always DO MORE!!!! FIGHT ON!!!! NEVER QUIT!!!! I don't doubt that we're all well-meaning but it is, imo, reckless to tell someone whose case you don't know the first thing about to take any and all treatment. IMO, they should be discussing with their doctors ALL the possibilities, from conservative management to aggressive treatment. That's just my opinion. You're free to your own. Somehow, the idea of conservative management rarely makes an appearance on these boards so when I read a thread in which the advise is one-sided and potentially bordering on negligent, I'm going to speak up. If you find it offensive, I won't apologize. That's the free speech people cling to in action. Just as you live your truth, I live mine.