Postby dianne052506 » Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:53 pm
Mike's wife,
So glad you found this site. It will be a wonderful source of information and support for you, and for Mike when he is more up to it.
With children that small, I don't know how much I would tell them. My daughter was 9 when I was dx'd and, because of a grandparent, she knew what cancer was. I told her I needed surgery to make me better, but I was determined she would not know it was cancer until I was safely back home.
After the surgery, they will be able to see the scar, and understand that the scar area will be tender for a while. They can make Daddy their special patient and do all sorts of things for him.
Have you and Mike already met with an oncologist and discussed the chemo? Typically, the protocol is FOLFOX. With Folfox, there is some nausea (which almost always can be controlled with a variety of meds), fatigue and weakness, and unusual sensitivity to cold. The most obvious sign to others of chemo, hair loss, is not that frequent with FOLFOX, so other than some weight loss, Mike may not look sick to most people. (I frankly looked better on FOLFOX than I did all my adult life!)
Plus, remember how adaptable and accepting children are. My daughter was less than five when her grandmother was in treatment for breast cancer. I really thought the hair loss would scare her, but she seemed to take the whole thing in stride. Kids notice when your heart changes, not necessarily when your looks change.
Best of luck to you, to Mike, and the family,
Dianne
May 06 Stage IV CC: liver,ovarian mets
Oct 07 inoperable lung mets
Feb 08 - Apr'12 chemo
allergic to oxaliplatin, irinotecan
Aug '12-Feb'14 Genentech PD-L1/Avastin trial
Mar '14 -radiation to largest lung nodule
still recovering; looking at trials again