The Weird Things People say.....

[Sinfulsot]

While I have crohn's, it never occurred to me that those with UC were luckier than I since the disease is confined only to the colon.

now if CD-ers and UC-ers were to organize so we can rumble, I am down.

Same with ostomates: colo's vs ileo's. (i'm a colo).

[JennyB]

A woman in my playgroup (I have a 1-year-old) has a husband with Crohns. Now, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and I'm sure it's awful, but she said to me, "your husband is so lucky his was colitis, because it's just confined to the colon." I said, "yeah, he sure was lucky to get stage III cancer." She felt like an ass (no pun intended).

For some reason, a lot of Crohnies say that to us UCers. I just reply, "I didn't know if was a competition." With a smile, of course. And sometimes followed by "bless your heart."

My favorite well-meaning, but poorly chosen comment was in regard to my then 2.5 year old daughter. While I was still digesting the knowledge of my diagnosis (and waiting for a staging), countless people told me how lucky I was that my daughter was young and "wouldn't remember this time." Not something I needed to hear while trying to digest colon cancer stats.

Love it! The "bless your heart" is the best response!

We heard similar sentiments from people too (I was 6 months pregnant when Scott was diagnosed). I agree that they were well-meaning, but just clueless.

Did you also get (and I am assuming you did from your signature) the, "well, on the bright side, no more Asacol!" from your GI doc?

[Sinfulsot]

now to reverse it. how weird is the stuff i say?!

during my treatment, i had to reschedule one because i had a temp (i forget what it was). So, i am sitting next to an elderly woman, certainly not frail or rickety, she had lost some hair, and somehow a conversation started up. somehow, I got her to tell me what kind of cancer she was being treated for. I forget if i asked "so what are you in for" or "what kind of cancer do you have".

she said, "Pancreatic".
I said, "mine's lame. rectal"

Another time, @werk, I am talking to someone who i've worked with for a while about who will be covering me when i am out for surgery. this is in front of a new person.

n00b: surgery? is it serious?
me: that would depend; is cancer serious?

Then i did it again with a very regular customer i usually wait on, but i phrased it as "How serious is cancer?" this was also a week or two before my officially confirmed surgery date.

edited to say that I made sure every1 who was accosted by me asking how serious is cancer understood that it was me belittling and humiliating the cancer that dared to mutate into existence inside my ass.

[KarMel]

Today at work, a patient comes in for a yearly gyn checkup. She hasn't seen me in a year, but she apparently discovered my diagnosis AFTER her visit last year. She says, "when I was here last year , I mentioned you'd lost a lot of weight. Why didn't you tell me you lost it in a way no one really wants to? "

How am I supposed to answer that? I was so stunned, I don't remember what I said.

[fldoghouse]

When I was first diagnosed, a man who I barely know said "well, I guess your days of anal sex are over!"
I don't even remember what I said. But I sure have some thoughts as to what I would say today - like, "Oh let me scratch that one off the old bucket list", or "yeah -a woman's worst nightmare - RIGHT!"
Love these posts - humor is so key.

[GreenLakeGirl]

Did you also get (and I am assuming you did from your signature) the, "well, on the bright side, no more Asacol!" from your GI doc?

ha ha, no but I made the joke, "No more colonoscopies, eh??" and he laughed. I'm truly not sad to be done with the prep part of colonoscopies.

Sin, I'll rumble with you...but only if it means snapping our fingers and singing Broadway tunes. "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way..."

Forgot to add: the woman who cut my hair made a couple great comments after I mentioned just finishing chemo.
"Wow, I thought everybody lost their hair and looked sick on chemo."
Well, the doctors are getting better at mixing the right cocktail of drugs for some of us, I answered.
"And colon cancer, huh? I though that was an old man's disease."

[helen098]

I have a few of my own and my responses

Wow you look great it’s a good thing you had weight to lose or you would look sick.
nice you think I was fat before
I am jealous of you losing all the weight so easily? Yea diarrhea and fatigue are sp much fun.
Why didn’t you lose you hair? Don’t know guess when I was picking the side effects I went for diarrhea instead.
Being asked ever day do you feel any better? Well no and I won’t till they stop pumping me full of poison.
Well it’s the best type/stage cancer to get. Is there a good kind of cancer? do you want mine
Colon cancer though only old men get that. Yes only old men have a colon
The guessing game when you say you had cancer, it was breast cancer right. Yes as a woman I only have breasts no other organs.
The neurologist who after I told him I was on chemo for colon cancer tell me about the doc at my hospital who was 42 (I was 41 at the time) who had colon cancer and died within a year. Thank you for the compassion doc.


My favorite was from the onc during my second chemo. I was having trouble remembering things and asked if it was the chemo.
No he says not the type you are receiving are you stressed about anything?
He says this while I am hooked up getting chemo directly into my chest was just hospitalized for broncotis which may or may not have been caused by the chemo my stomach still hurts from the surgery, I can’t stop going to the bathroom, want to sleep all day and I have an extra hole in my butt (my anal fistula) and he has the nerve to ask if I am stressed by anything.
I remember looking up at the IV bag and shaking my head no and laughing so hard and the other patients and nurse all join in the doc goes back to his office for a very long time.
I laughed so hard my side hurt but in a good way
After this I realized even though docs must be smart to become a doc they can still be real stupid

[Natty]

Well I had s really stupid and cruel one from a lady or should I say person when my bestfriend went for bloodwork on Tuesday...A lady walked in to meet a firned mind you all who is sitting in the same radiotherapy dept as everyone else and has cancer like everyone else and she shouted out in front of her friend and everyone else...
IN HERE SMELLS LIKE DEATH.... I just wanted t heave her ass down the laundry shoot



Natty

[SkiFletch]

Well this one is kind of funny, but one of my favorite quotes. My soon to be sister in law upon finding out I was having surgery asked me if I had more than one colon that you can live without, like kidneys .

[Candyys03]

I don't have anything new to add.Maybe because I'm not that funny or maybe because I've been pretty much home-bound but I must say a big
"THANK YOU!" to all of you.
This post made my day.
I wonder what people are really thinking or trying to say as it comes out wrong.
As a matter of fact sometimes I wonder what I say tired/drugged/chemo brain and all.
I hope that someone is keeping track of all of these for a book.
I love you guys!

Candy

[Sinfulsot]

Another one. which i find highly amusing.

I was talking to a friend on the phone after my surgery, talking about my ostomy. first he thought it was not dissimilar to what they use when they take blood for testing. but that's not what is so amusing. he had to end the call because he "had to take a nice dump". when he heard that come out of his mouth, he was very apologetic, like i would take offense or something.

[beccab1]

I also want to thank everyone for sharing! This is a great post. Makes me wonder though - how much stupid stuff have I said over the years!!

Well this one is kind of funny, but one of my favorite quotes. My soon to be sister in law upon finding out I was having surgery asked me if I had more than one colon that you can live without, like kidneys .

SkiFletch - how did you keep a straight face? That one really made me laugh out loud!

[ljcs]

I'm 26 and have RCa...just got out of a 3 days visit at the hospital - went in for port pain, spiked a 102 fever in the er, then they found a UTI and a staph infection in my blood...anywho, like i said my husband & I went in through the ER so the doctor we had was a man we have never meant before. He kept saying "26?! 26?! I don't know whether you are lucky or if I should feel bad for you???" Thanks doc.

Speaking of "luck", I've had numerous people say something in regards to my age and having cancer then saying something about how I should play the lottery...oh yes, because I *completely* associate cancer with powerball winnings! LOL, people I swear.

Finally, my last one was one of the first comments from my first time getting my port accessed; the nurse was older and she looked at me, tilted her head to the side and said "wow, 26...you are definitely the youngest person I've seen with RCa...let's see if the age things really works out in a couple months" Haha, it still makes me laugh for some reason.

[kbrown2b]

These are unbelievable... making me laugh... much needed, thanks..


While I was having my colonoscopy a couple of weeks ago.. i was freaking out anyway that the Dr. told me to roll on my left side and the nurse started injecting Versed through my IV.. as i rolled over the damn Dr. Said..."Nice tan line!!" Wtf??? Creeper!!! That was the last thing that i remember before i woke up... lol

[CRguy]

One of my fave stupido questions is from another thread, so I'll let BrownBagger tell it himself !
http://coloncancersupport.colonclub.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=12406&p=93679&hilit=+anal+sex#p93679
Cheers !