Today

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beach sunrise
Posts: 1034
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:14 pm

Today

Postby beach sunrise » Sun Jan 03, 2021 1:00 am

Hi, I am not a whiner or complainer usually but for the last few days I have felt terrible mentally. It doesn't help that the prebiotic I began taking is really tearing my stomach up and haven't had IVC for 2 wks because of the holiday. I know it bothers my family as they can tell something just isn't going right with me, ha.
8/19 RC CEA 82.6 T3N0M0
5FU/rad 6 wk
IVC 75g 1 1/2 wks before surgery. Continue 2x a week
Surg 1/20 -margins T4bN1a IIIC G2 MSI- 1/20 LN+ LVI+ PNI-
pre cea 24 post 5.9
FOLFOX
7 rds 6-10 CEA 11.4 No more
CEA
7/20 11.1 8.8
8/20 7.8
9/20 8.8, 9, 8.6
10/20 8.1
11/20 8s
12/20 8s-9s
ADAPT++++ chrono
CEA
10/23/22 26.x
12/23/22 22.x
2023
1/5 17.1
1/20 15.9
3/30 14.9
6/12 13.3
8/1 2.1
Nodule RML SUV 1.3 5mm
Rolles 3 of 4 lung nodules cancer
KRAS
Chem-sens test failed Not enough ca cells to test

stu
Posts: 1613
Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:46 pm

Re: Today

Postby stu » Sun Jan 03, 2021 11:00 am

Sorry to hear that . I don’t blame you for feeling rough it’s a lot to go through .

I know as a daughter there were times I wanted to make things better for my mum but could not ! But thankfully they were not too often and the bettered days surfaced again . There is so much going on just now on top of treatment it’s hard to keep it all heading in the right direction.

Hope you feel a bit better soon .

Stu ( or his mum actually !)
supporter to my mum who lives a great life despite a difficult diagnosis
stage4 2009 significant spread to liver
2010 colon /liver resection
chemo following recurrence
73% of liver removed
enjoying life treatment free
2016 lung resection
Oct 2017 nice clear scan . Two lung nodules disappeared
Oct 2018. Another clear scan .

User avatar
beach sunrise
Posts: 1034
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:14 pm

Re: Today

Postby beach sunrise » Sun Jan 03, 2021 2:34 pm

Thanks for the sweet note!
I will be happy when I shake this feeling for sure.
8/19 RC CEA 82.6 T3N0M0
5FU/rad 6 wk
IVC 75g 1 1/2 wks before surgery. Continue 2x a week
Surg 1/20 -margins T4bN1a IIIC G2 MSI- 1/20 LN+ LVI+ PNI-
pre cea 24 post 5.9
FOLFOX
7 rds 6-10 CEA 11.4 No more
CEA
7/20 11.1 8.8
8/20 7.8
9/20 8.8, 9, 8.6
10/20 8.1
11/20 8s
12/20 8s-9s
ADAPT++++ chrono
CEA
10/23/22 26.x
12/23/22 22.x
2023
1/5 17.1
1/20 15.9
3/30 14.9
6/12 13.3
8/1 2.1
Nodule RML SUV 1.3 5mm
Rolles 3 of 4 lung nodules cancer
KRAS
Chem-sens test failed Not enough ca cells to test

claudine
Posts: 809
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 2:41 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Today

Postby claudine » Mon Jan 04, 2021 12:04 pm

Those are very understandable feelings, especially during the Holidays when everyone is expected to be cheerful! My husband was on the phone with his father recently, and when asked about new year resolutions, he replied, "hum, staying alive?". It can be very hard to be upbeat all the time, especially when you hear people having goals for the new year like "run a marathon" or "travel to blablabla" or "cut down on processed sugar"...

Sometimes I resent my husband's gloomy mood, but I cannot fathom what goes through his mind on a daily basis. He's trying very hard to be positive, and I'm trying very hard to give him space to be upset. My impression over the past 3 years, is that it's somewhat cyclical, even when we get not so good news, eventually he'll rally, until the next dark phase.

I hope the days growing longer will help! Take care XXXXX
Wife of Dx 04/18 (51 yo). MSS, KRAS G12A, no primary

Tumors: L4 04/18; left adrenal gland & small lung nodules 03/19
rectum 02/22 (pT3 pN0 stage 2A); L3 09/22

Surgeries: intestinal resect. 05/18 (no cancer - Crohn's); adrenalectomy 02/20
L3-L4-L5 fusion and corpectomy 05/20; LAR 04/22; ileo reversal 09/22
L2-L3 fusion and corpectomy 09/22

Treatments: EBRT 04/18; SBRT 02/19; Failed adjuvant Xelox ; Folfiri/Avastin 03/19 - 01/20
adjuvant chemorad (Xeloda) 06/22; SBRT 11/22; Xeloda/Avastin since 01/24

User avatar
beach sunrise
Posts: 1034
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:14 pm

Re: Today

Postby beach sunrise » Mon Jan 04, 2021 6:41 pm

Thank you, Claudine! It is a combo for sure. It's terrible feeling this way. It didn't help any when I cleaned the closet out :) Found some things that really bothered me. I finally got IVC today so maybe that will boost my mood and YES we need longer days. I actually took a blanket out in the field and just layed in the sun but couldn't really just lay there and soak it all in because the dogs and cat all over me, lol...
8/19 RC CEA 82.6 T3N0M0
5FU/rad 6 wk
IVC 75g 1 1/2 wks before surgery. Continue 2x a week
Surg 1/20 -margins T4bN1a IIIC G2 MSI- 1/20 LN+ LVI+ PNI-
pre cea 24 post 5.9
FOLFOX
7 rds 6-10 CEA 11.4 No more
CEA
7/20 11.1 8.8
8/20 7.8
9/20 8.8, 9, 8.6
10/20 8.1
11/20 8s
12/20 8s-9s
ADAPT++++ chrono
CEA
10/23/22 26.x
12/23/22 22.x
2023
1/5 17.1
1/20 15.9
3/30 14.9
6/12 13.3
8/1 2.1
Nodule RML SUV 1.3 5mm
Rolles 3 of 4 lung nodules cancer
KRAS
Chem-sens test failed Not enough ca cells to test

Rikimaroo
Posts: 436
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2016 8:48 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Today

Postby Rikimaroo » Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:20 am

Hi Beach,

Hang in there, we are in the same boat, sometimes wondering if our paddle will fall in the water, or it tries to fall in the water and we grab it right before it does and keep on moving. The struggle is definitely real!! LOL...

I also have my ups and downs. There are times when I am watching a movie, or youtube video or old pictures of myself before cancer struct me and I ask myself what the hell happened?? How did this happen to me?? Why Lord?? The colostomy, or the port on my chest, or the infusions of avastin every 3 weeks, or the xeloda pills every other 7 days, or the taking pills to control gas or everything that is now my normal compared to the easier normal life I had before 2016 cross my mind daily and remind me daily and sometimes discourages me daily, but I press on, for my family, for myself...

Oh and yes, there is some grump in me, I can be that grumpy old troll, I hate it, especially if I am feeling abdomen discomfort. Really makes you a grump. I usually hide in my man cave when I am a grump.

We got this I just need 30 more years, LOL...

Best
Rikimaroo
RC T3N1M0 12/16
MSS - NRAS Mutation
Chemo Rad, CCR - W&W 5/2017
Recurrence 11/2017
CT Scan 11/2017 Liver Met 5.5cm Stable, Stage IV
LAR/Liver Resect 4/2018
Reversal 10/18
CEA highest 500, lowest .8 throughout process, waiting for latest
Recurrence left vesical/pelvic sidewall - 10/7/2019 resect perm bag,
CEA rise Feb/May 3.7, 8.8, 30, Recurrence in Pelvic
CEA 40 right now, but was 57, so folfiri to beat it back down.
Lots of chemo for the past 4 years.

claudine
Posts: 809
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 2:41 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Today

Postby claudine » Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:52 am

[/quote] hide in my man cave when I am a grump[/quote]

LOL Riki, my husband does the same :D

We got this I just need 30 more years, LOL...


One day at a time eventually they do add up!
Wife of Dx 04/18 (51 yo). MSS, KRAS G12A, no primary

Tumors: L4 04/18; left adrenal gland & small lung nodules 03/19
rectum 02/22 (pT3 pN0 stage 2A); L3 09/22

Surgeries: intestinal resect. 05/18 (no cancer - Crohn's); adrenalectomy 02/20
L3-L4-L5 fusion and corpectomy 05/20; LAR 04/22; ileo reversal 09/22
L2-L3 fusion and corpectomy 09/22

Treatments: EBRT 04/18; SBRT 02/19; Failed adjuvant Xelox ; Folfiri/Avastin 03/19 - 01/20
adjuvant chemorad (Xeloda) 06/22; SBRT 11/22; Xeloda/Avastin since 01/24

claudine
Posts: 809
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 2:41 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Today

Postby claudine » Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:55 am

I actually took a blanket out in the field and just layed in the sun


Obviously you don't live in Montana :lol:
I did buy vitamin D for my husband, we tend to be chronically low here...
Wife of Dx 04/18 (51 yo). MSS, KRAS G12A, no primary

Tumors: L4 04/18; left adrenal gland & small lung nodules 03/19
rectum 02/22 (pT3 pN0 stage 2A); L3 09/22

Surgeries: intestinal resect. 05/18 (no cancer - Crohn's); adrenalectomy 02/20
L3-L4-L5 fusion and corpectomy 05/20; LAR 04/22; ileo reversal 09/22
L2-L3 fusion and corpectomy 09/22

Treatments: EBRT 04/18; SBRT 02/19; Failed adjuvant Xelox ; Folfiri/Avastin 03/19 - 01/20
adjuvant chemorad (Xeloda) 06/22; SBRT 11/22; Xeloda/Avastin since 01/24

User avatar
beach sunrise
Posts: 1034
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:14 pm

Re: Today

Postby beach sunrise » Thu Jan 07, 2021 11:54 am

Thank you all for the supportive replies! I'm feeling better. It's so good to know I have people that understand!
I am focusing on my friend coming to visit next month.
8/19 RC CEA 82.6 T3N0M0
5FU/rad 6 wk
IVC 75g 1 1/2 wks before surgery. Continue 2x a week
Surg 1/20 -margins T4bN1a IIIC G2 MSI- 1/20 LN+ LVI+ PNI-
pre cea 24 post 5.9
FOLFOX
7 rds 6-10 CEA 11.4 No more
CEA
7/20 11.1 8.8
8/20 7.8
9/20 8.8, 9, 8.6
10/20 8.1
11/20 8s
12/20 8s-9s
ADAPT++++ chrono
CEA
10/23/22 26.x
12/23/22 22.x
2023
1/5 17.1
1/20 15.9
3/30 14.9
6/12 13.3
8/1 2.1
Nodule RML SUV 1.3 5mm
Rolles 3 of 4 lung nodules cancer
KRAS
Chem-sens test failed Not enough ca cells to test

Siti
Posts: 269
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:58 am

Re: Today

Postby Siti » Sun Jan 17, 2021 5:31 am

Sorry for the late reply... I haven’t been spending much time in the forum but I’ll log on every now and then.

I hope you’re feeling better since the last post. All of us here understand what you’re going through and it doesn’t help with our current climate of bad world news and winter gloom combo!

Just an idea maybe it might help — For my husband’s Christmas present, I bought for him a digital photo frame which I’ve pre-loaded on the cloud with happy moments of our travels together. I think he loves it very much because the photo frame will show a different photo every day and it brings back wonderful memories. I guess we could all do small things like this to try elevate the mood at home.
DH (54) DX on 5/7/19
Sigmoid|G3|LN:30/31|MSS|WT KRAS, NRAS, BRAF
7/19 PET distant LN para-aorta neck hip (0.5-1.5cm)
7/19 Lap resection
26/8 to 20/12/19 CAPEOX+Bev 7x
6/11/19 CT 3 cycle LN shrunk
1/20 Cap+Bev
4/20 TS-1+Bev due to bad HFS
NED 4 years
8/23 PET recurrence chest LN growing since Feb. CEA May(4.5>5.1>5.9)
9/23 Stopped Bev, CEA Sept(8.7) Radio 17x
11/23 PET 1+ supraclavicular LN, CEA (3.4>2.5)
12/23 Lymphadenectomy
1/24 Narrow margins, 1/5 +LN, 1.4cm +tissue, TMB (19)

User avatar
beach sunrise
Posts: 1034
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:14 pm

Re: Today

Postby beach sunrise » Sun Jan 17, 2021 4:27 pm

Hi Siti, you are so sweet, I swear! It comes and goes, so I am getting out of my funk . I love the idea of the picture frame. I am such a picture person :)
8/19 RC CEA 82.6 T3N0M0
5FU/rad 6 wk
IVC 75g 1 1/2 wks before surgery. Continue 2x a week
Surg 1/20 -margins T4bN1a IIIC G2 MSI- 1/20 LN+ LVI+ PNI-
pre cea 24 post 5.9
FOLFOX
7 rds 6-10 CEA 11.4 No more
CEA
7/20 11.1 8.8
8/20 7.8
9/20 8.8, 9, 8.6
10/20 8.1
11/20 8s
12/20 8s-9s
ADAPT++++ chrono
CEA
10/23/22 26.x
12/23/22 22.x
2023
1/5 17.1
1/20 15.9
3/30 14.9
6/12 13.3
8/1 2.1
Nodule RML SUV 1.3 5mm
Rolles 3 of 4 lung nodules cancer
KRAS
Chem-sens test failed Not enough ca cells to test


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