O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

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O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby CRguy » Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:53 am

Sometimes it is Ok to just reflect, and respect who we are and where we have been.

Eric was my best friend here and together we "disturbed" some shit :twisted: :mrgreen:
solved a lotta shit ... and...
maybe just got into some other shit :shock:
BUTT always together.

Jaynee thank you,
you always kind of put up with us when we were bad
and supported us 100% regardless !!!!

This forum IS community ... it is family
I am moved, just to be a small part of it.

the reason for THIS post ....
I am nearing 10,000 active posts here

Eric, while on mega Chemo and back and forth to MSK and surgeries and
"all the little details of being Stage IV "

rode his bike > 10,000 MILES

I feel that is worthy of respect and reflection, which we can all benefit from.

To everyone who knew Eric, I share your love and respect for him.
To those who did not know Eric, he IS here with us all

Ride another mile brother
ride another mile
because THAT is what you inspire us to do

Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
15 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby Jack&KatiesMommy » Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:40 am

I miss him too. Thanks for the reflection, CR Guy.
Mommy to Jack (8) now (18) and Katie (4) now (14)
(My Most Precious Things)
Dx 8/11 Stage IV CRC (liver mets) CEA 2,600+
9/11 Folfiri 2/12: Failed Liver Resection
5/12 HAI pump/removed primary
4/13 Liver Resection
8/13-12/15 (10) RFAs lungs
5/17: Upper Left Lobe of lung resected.
02/18: 3 new lymph mets lung
05/18: Keytruda (MSS w/Intermediate TMB): NED CEA: 66.4, 39.2, 23.8, 13, 3.5 1.8, 1.0, 2.8 3.9, 5.0, 5.6, 1.5, .8,

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby michelle c » Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:48 am

I “knew” Eric from here and he truly inspired me with his bike riding and his garden. He was very wise and reassuring much like you CRguy. I am very grateful for the wonderful people I have met here...when I was terrified, needing encouragement and just someone who understood. I found it all here.

With tears in my eyes, I also remember and miss so many others who have passed on. They will never know just how much their friendship on here meant to me. Bev, Terry, Jessica, Belle, Ashley and so many more ❤️
May 25 2009 Dx with CC (sigmoid colon) 2 days after my 44th b'day
CEA prior to surgery 4.7
Jun 3 2009 LAR - Stage III 3/10 lymph nodes
Jul 6 - Dec 10 2009 - 12 cycles FOLFIRI
Genetic testing - inconclusive for Lynch
Jul 2012 port removed & hernia repair

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby WarriorSpouse » Tue Sep 03, 2019 11:07 am

What a wonderful reflection CRguy. As you do often, your comments tie the past to the present very well. BrownBagger was always an inspiration to read and witness here. There are many others too, who I leaned so much from by reviewing their personal journeys and posts. This blog is a gift to all and we thank you for keeping it going for many to lean and show support. For those who do not know of BrownBagger, he lived his life like no other... Lot's of lessons of perseverance and human spirit.
He is well worth a search and a historical read on this blog.
D/H 47 years old, 10/2014, Stage IV M/CRC, nodes 12/15, para-aortic, 5 cm sigmoid resection, positive Virchow. KRAS mut, MSS, Highly Differentiated, Lynch Neg, 5FU/LV and Avastin 1 YR (Oxi for 5 months), Zeloda/Bev since 01/2016. 02/2019 recurrence para-nodes, back to 5FU/LV Oxy/Bev. It is working again. "...Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other."-Walter Elliot

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby juliej » Tue Sep 03, 2019 6:27 pm

Beautiful and insightful thoughts, CRguy! I wasn't ready to lose him either.

As you know, Eric's motto was "Live your life like it's going to be a long one, because it just might, and then you'll be glad you did."

And boy, did he live by those words! He biked, gardened, traveled, cut and stacked enough firewood to put a woodchuck to shame, was a writer and editor for his day job, enjoyed a little Green Dragon in the evenings, and generously shared his advice and wisdom with everyone here.

The last time we corresponded we talked about him renovating the kitchen in his Wisconsin farmhouse, the place he planned to live when he retired. He told me that, if he could choose anywhere to die, he couldn't imagine a better place than the family farm in Coloma. And the universe granted that wish.

This is one of my favorite Eric quotes:

Yes, life is good. Shorter than most of us would like, but (not to be cliche here), it's how you use the time you have, not the amount of time you have to use.

Thanks so much, CRguy, for all the work you do to keep this forum going and by virtue of that, to hold our memories of Eric here for everyone to read and witness.

Stage IVb, liver/lung mets 8/4/2010
Xelox+Avastin 8/18/10 to 10/21/2011
LAR, liver resec, HAI pump 11/2011
Adjuvant Irinotecan + FUDR
Double lung surgery + ileo reversal 2/2012
Adjuvant FUDR + Xeloda
VATS rt. lung 12/2012 - benign granuloma!
VATS left lung 11/2013
NED 11/22/13 to 12/18/2019, CEA<1

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby DBF » Tue Sep 03, 2019 7:17 pm

CRguy, thanks for this. I miss reading Eric’s posts here. I miss others too. Sometimes I use the search to go back to read and reflect on posts of the “old timers” and also of those no longer with us.

Thank you for all you have done here- all those you have supported in this community over the years. 10,000 posts! That is certainly worthy of “respect and reflection.”

6/13 Dx @ 29 Wks pregnant, 42 yo
Adenocarcinoma, mucinous
7/13 C-sec/col resec/part. hysterectomy
8/13 Pulm embolism
8/13 Spread to liver
9/13 Liver resection
ADAPT: Xeloda/Celebrex
2/14 oopherectomy
10/15 obstruction surg
10/17 Scar tissue removal/vsg surg
2019: NED :)
2021: NED :D
2022: NED :)
Mom to 3 boys: 24, 12 & 9

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby Kick'nAssCancer'sAss » Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:37 pm

From my journal

Eric’s motto was simply “Live your life like it is going to be a long one, because it just might, and then you’ll be glad you did.” For whatever reason no other member captured my attention like Eric had. His motto had simply stuck in my head since I first read it back when I signed up. I have read every single one of his posts since I joined.

I never met Eric but in many ways I felt I knew him personally.

His close to 8,000 posts, were always informative, detailed and well written. Eric took the time to always help others, imparting his wisdom and advice to anyone needing it. As a chemo for life patient himself Eric knew that once the chemo stopped working he would not survive. He had endured close to 140 rounds of various chemo cocktails. He knew eventually he would run out of options.

It was just a matter of time.

Maybe my attraction to Eric was he like me was an avid cyclist. Eric had logged well over 10,000 miles since his diagnosis. Eric also had a green thumb, he was always posting photos of his garden. It was a very sad day for me when I found out about Eric’s passing in July 2017.

Although Eric did live his life as if it would be a long one, it never was meant to be. Eric was fifty-nine years old when he died.
53M Dx RC Halloween 2013
easily the scariest day of my life
My Journey Journal
over 12,000 reads globally

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby kiwiinoz » Wed Sep 04, 2019 6:52 pm

Simply put, his presence here is sorely missed. He left an indelible mark on those that came into contact with him, including me, and I wish he was still around.
Keep riding Eric
Stage IV Rectal Cancer (39 Year old male at dx)
pT3N0M1 (wish that was M0)
Diagnosed 05 Dec 2012
LAR 05 Jan 2013
VATS 27 Feb 2013
FOLOFX April 2013 - Sep 2013
Clear Scan 03 Dec 2013 - August 2020
Port Out 26 March 2015

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby horizon » Thu Sep 05, 2019 9:16 pm

He was such a good guy. I got a lot out of reading his posts.
I'm just a dude who still can't believe he had a resection and went through chemo (currently 11 years NED). Is this real life?

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby CRguy » Fri Sep 06, 2019 12:07 am

Hey homies
I am luvvin' the responses here and KNOW
Eric would love it too

fave quotes ... ??? :shock:

Yes I have 2 which I cannot share online :twisted: :mrgreen:

BUTT I will let you know our abbreviations for them from PMs !!!

OTMF = who he was
SSRCLWB = promised we would never decode this openly on forum

well ok maybe just a peak ? at one

Eric once commented on something/someone and I replied
" That is you bro' "

OTMF = One Tough Mo Fo
I believe it was just prior to him getting into the 70's or 80's of chemo sessions ???

THAT says it all my friend,
Ride ON !


Cheers all
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
15 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby barbara jayne » Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:41 pm

Well said CRguy,
Eric is so missed on this forum and by all of us around the world who go to know and love his posts.
It was a privilege to know you Eric, but we really miss you !
BJ x
DX. Colon Cancer (Cecum) stage 3
Right hemicolectomy Jan '08
2/22 L.nodes positive
Oxi and Xeloda
Xeloda discontinued
due to DPD enzyme deficiency
Lynch Syndrome
13 years NED
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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby teachpdx » Fri Sep 06, 2019 8:43 pm

Thanks CRguy. I miss him too, think of him often and miss his garden pictures. I also miss his picture of Einstein on a bike. I'm back to biking myself & wish I could share with him.

Gone butt not forgotten. Peace Brownbagger.
4/24/12 RC T3N1M0 age 53
5/23-7/2 - 26 chemorad - Xeloda
7/16 Lynch- MSH2
8/28 LAR w/ temp ileo, CR, 0/11,M0, hysterectomy
10/13 6 cycles Xeloda - completed only 1 1/2 due to HFS
3/12/13 - reversal
8/13 NED
6/15 - HFS gone!

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Re: O/T : I wish Brownbagger were here

Postby jens22 » Fri Sep 06, 2019 10:15 pm

I miss Eric too!! He was down to earth and talked us all through every hurdle we had. I remember when he got his first results of being stag 2 to 4 and his first VATS. I'll alway remember and laugh at his picture of his soy bean garden. His life on earth truely did so much for us all
Colonoscopy 3/10 for ? hemmorrhoid.
Diag Colon Cancer 3 days later
Colon Ressection 3/30/10
Stage 3B 5/14 Nodes positive.
Power Port and 7 months of Chemo
Port removed 11/11
8 negative Cat Scans..... 10 years cancer free and Discharged from Sloane Kett!!
Diag age 47 , now 57 Mom of 3 boys.

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