My Sister is talking to my bf behind my back

[Dagmar]

Dear all,

I recently moved back from Ireland to Sweden and my boyfriend came to visit me last week (we have been going out Four years prior). He met my sister for the very first time. All went very well. I know that both love me very much and are worried about me because I am sick. However, they swapped phone numbers behind my back. Normalt I dont get upset about peoples behaviour. Especially as it is tabu to talk about death. But I am hurt this time. Why could they not include me in this? I would have been fine with it. It feels like something has been taken away from me. I cant even describe it. Anyone else being "betrayed" even though it is coming from a place of love? D

[MetastaticEquilibria]

I’ve felt that feeling of “betrayal,” not so much with loved ones, but at work with regard to colleagues who I know are trying to help me out with no intention of betrayal. I recognize it as an (unfair) response on my part to a feeling of loss of control. The feeling of loss of control is definitely a frustrating part of the cancer package.

The only solution I have found is to choose one’s battles carefully, and realize there are things one no longer has control over. (And in some cases, maybe never had real control over to begin with.). And try to find a positive way to look at it, if possible. After all, there is nothing to be gained by being resentful of people who are trying to help. And if I’m honest, many times I actually need what they are trying to do for me, even if is “behind my back.”

But yes, it is not easy.

[Dagmar]

Its difficult. I am such a private and proud woman. But I am totally going to let this one go (I dont feel that I have choice). I think that you are right. Its the feeling of being out of control that caused the stress in me and I suppose i dont want to lose control över my life. I Hope to have another few years left on this lovely planet so this will be my next emotional practice. How to stop being emotional controlling?!!!

[henry123]

Let go of all the negativities inside you. Forgive everyone including yourself . Seek forgiveness from those whom you may have hurt.
Be at peace with all that's happening around you. You are here for greater things than worrying about behaviour of your sister or/ and your bf. None is worth an iota of your time or mindspace.
Enjoy all the wonderful things on this wonderful planet as best as you can.
Best of luck.