Thanks for the updates. I'm sorry for the traumatic, life altering and shattering experiences you both have endured so early. The question is how to heal and make peace and progress from here. Alternative doctors (still MD) often will have more of a co-learner or participatory philosophy, without the paternalism, blind pessimism, or ego. To the extent we use standard medical services, we accumulate information, note their recommendation
as one option/opinoin, lose demands, and always remember that a dr is our consultant. One of many if necessary. Also I handle most medical interviews solo. It avoids "hexing", repeats and is a big savings on emotional wear and tear, for her peace of mind and convenience.
It's frustrating but we have to push on. We do have more compatible medical support. We are much more self reliant. Partly from taking care of parents, we can convert a bedroom to a ward with devices and oxygen, hire nurses if need be.
Although you may find this
site low tech, I like the irreverent background histories, self reliance, and opinions as a simple starting point to explore natural chemistry. Also there is Life Extension Foundation as a starting point.
My wife accepts less and less monitoring now, but she does it some, mostly bloodwork. She's kind hesitant on scans, mostly the IV insertion fubars, she needs a very skilled insertion. We are committed to getting more natural, or at least nicer, milder chemistry answers, as possible, along the way.