Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

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Tjas1987
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:46 pm

Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Tjas1987 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:15 am

Hey there guys! We just found out yesterday that my mom has stage 4 colon cancer that’s spread to her lungs and bones as you can imagine this isn’t the easiest news to receive.

I haven’t told my 10 year old son because I’m unsure how to tell him.

They’ve talked to us about pallitave care. I’m guessing they can’t do much for her but make her comfortable and possibly prolong life a little bit.

My dad died of colon cancer of the liver and lungs 8 years ago at 59 years old when my first born was 2.5. My mom is currently 59 years old and my second born is 2.5.. what
are the odds that both of my parents have damn colon cancer. I’m sorry for the language but I’m so angry.. why is life so damn unfair I’m 30 years old and not ready to be parentless.. has anyone dealt with this? Can you give me any advice? I know it’s going to be painful. She’s already unable to walk. We’re hoping we can get her up and walking.. ❤️

Thank you
Scared daughter and mom

dliu
Posts: 32
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:16 am

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby dliu » Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:41 pm

Hi Tjas1987, I don't have much advice - just wanted to say sorry for the reason you are on this forum. I am your same age and currently in a similar situation (I lost my dad 13 years ago), so I empathise a lot with what you are going through. I know you can feel powerless but please know that you are not alone and please feel free to reach out at any time via PM.

Sending you positive vibes,
Caring for my mum, 65
Sigmoid resection, multiple liver mets
09/05/2018 Dx Stage IV, 6/11 LN - KRAS G12V
28/05/2018 First round of FOLFOX + Avastin

CEA down from 6000+ (05/2018) to 843 (08/2018) to 377 (11/2018)
9/10 rounds with Oxaliplatin
8/10 rounds with Bevacizumab

NedPlease
Posts: 537
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:56 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby NedPlease » Wed Jul 11, 2018 5:07 pm

I am so sorry and angry. This is truly a nightmare and tragically unfair.
My own diagnosis made way for my thirty-ish year old children to be scoped with the hope of catching any cancer early and sparing their lives. So WTF, how is it that this has happened to your mom?
Going forward, I do hope you’ll be as diligent as possible with your own surveillance for your and your family’s sake.


Kindest regards and strength,
N
F-54- St 4- Ascend Colon, 2 Liver mets, Poorly dif, Mutant
6/10- Folfox
9/10- R Liver Resect/Colon/Gall/Appendix
11/10-3/11- Folfox
11/11- R Lung, 1 met, VATS
3/12- 9/12- Xeloda
2/12- 6/18 Clear Scans
Today- NED

Caat55
Posts: 539
Joined: Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:01 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Caat55 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 5:49 pm

Cancer is not fair, it sucks. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you get another opinion just to be sure everything is being done. My kids were 1 and 3 when I lost my brother to cancer, there is no way to make this understandable.

S
55 y.o. Female
Dx 9/26/17 RC Stage 3
Completed 33 rad. tx, xeolda 12/8/17
MRI and PET 1/18 sign. regression
Surgery 1/31/18 Ileostomy, clean margins, no lymph node involved
Port 3/1/2018
Oxaliplatin and Xeloda start 3/22/18
Last Oxaliplatin 7/5/18, 5 rounds
CT NED 9/2018

MissMolly
Posts: 564
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 4:33 pm
Location: Portland, Ore

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby MissMolly » Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:52 pm

Tjas:
Any possibility that your parents were exposed to high levels of radon?

My Godmother died of metastatic small-cell lung cancer 18 months ago (at the age of 75). Her husband was diagnosed with the same lung cancer (pathologically) a year ago. He is currently on hospice. To add to the complexity and mystery, their daughter (age 48) was also diagnosed with metastatic small cell lung cancer 9 months ago. Unfortunately, her cancer was particularly aggressive with metastatic lesions to the brain and bones (lumbar vertebrae, humerus, femur, sternum and clavicle) and she died this past March-2018.

Each were treated at a Oregon Health Sciences University (where Phil Knight of Nike has contributed substantially to cancer research). The common link for this family was their long-standing family home that did test positive for high levels of radon.

The radon is due to geological deposits laid due to flooding (75-100 years ago) in areas of the Pacific NW. The natural decay of these sedimentary deposits releases radon gases (odorless, colorless) that can concentrate in homes and other enclosed sructures. Radon gas is being studied for cause-effect links to cancer (especially lung and pancreas) and auto-immune diseases.

This was a meticulously well-kept, remodeled and updated, and comfortable home in the west hills of Portland, Oregon. It’s only fault was the soil that it was sitting on.

All three people in the nuclear family were diagnosed with metastatic small-cell lung cancer within a span of 18 months. Mother, father, and daughter.

You might test your mother’s home for the presence of radon gases.
Karen
Dear friend to Bella Piazza, former Colon Club member (NWGirl).
I have a permanent ileostomy and offer advice on living with an ostomy - in loving remembrance of Bella
I am on Palliative Care for broad endocrine failure + Addison's disease + osteonecrosis of both hips/jaw + immunosuppression. I live a simple life due to frail health.

Tjas1987
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:46 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Tjas1987 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:32 pm

MissMolly wrote:Tjas:
Any possibility that your parents were exposed to high levels of radon?

My Godmother died of metastatic small-cell lung cancer 18 months ago (at the age of 75). Her husband was diagnosed with the same lung cancer (pathologically) a year ago. He is currently on hospice. To add to the complexity and mystery, their daughter (age 48) was also diagnosed with metastatic small cell lung cancer 9 months ago. Unfortunately, her cancer was particularly aggressive with metastatic lesions to the brain and bones (lumbar vertebrae, humerus, femur, sternum and clavicle) and she died this past March-2018.

Each were treated at a Oregon Health Sciences University (where Phil Knight of Nike has contributed substantially to cancer research). The common link for this family was their long-standing family home that did test positive for high levels of radon.

The radon is due to geological deposits laid due to flooding (75-100 years ago) in areas of the Pacific NW. The natural decay of these sedimentary deposits releases radon gases (odorless, colorless) that can concentrate in homes and other enclosed sructures. Radon gas is being studied for cause-effect links to cancer (especially lung and pancreas) and auto-immune diseases.

This was a meticulously well-kept, remodeled and updated, and comfortable home in the west hills of Portland, Oregon. It’s only fault was the soil that it was sitting on.

All three people in the nuclear family were diagnosed with metastatic small-cell lung cancer within a span of 18 months. Mother, father, and daughter.

You might test your mother’s home for the presence of radon gases.
Karen


Thank you for your reply. I’m not entirely sure. We’re up in Ontario and they lived in Hamilton Ontario. They were separated while I was very young. They didn’t live together.. I’m going to contact my doctor to be tested for Lynch Syndrome.. and will have a scope done hopefully this year.
I’m very ver sorry for your loss ❤️❤️❤️

Tjas1987
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:46 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Tjas1987 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:33 pm

dliu wrote:Hi Tjas1987, I don't have much advice - just wanted to say sorry for the reason you are on this forum. I am your same age and currently in a similar situation (I lost my dad 13 years ago), so I empathise a lot with what you are going through. I know you can feel powerless but please know that you are not alone and please feel free to reach out at any time via PM.

Sending you positive vibes,



Thank you so very much. It is absolutely frustrating :( I’m sorry for your loss ❤️

Tjas1987
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:46 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Tjas1987 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:35 pm

NedPlease wrote:I am so sorry and angry. This is truly a nightmare and tragically unfair.
My own diagnosis made way for my thirty-ish year old children to be scoped with the hope of catching any cancer early and sparing their lives. So WTF, how is it that this has happened to your mom?
Going forward, I do hope you’ll be as diligent as possible with your own surveillance for your and your family’s sake.


Kindest regards and strength,
N


I’m so very sorry for what you’re going through. Yes, I’m going to be tested for Lynch syndrome. As well as getting scopes done every 3 years. Or if any changes in my bowels ..it’s terribly scary .. I pray you caught it quick enoUgh. Sending positive vibes to you ❤️

Tjas1987
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:46 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Tjas1987 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:39 pm

Caat55 wrote:Cancer is not fair, it sucks. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you get another opinion just to be sure everything is being done. My kids were 1 and 3 when I lost my brother to cancer, there is no way to make this understandable.

S


It’s so unbelievably hard. I’m not sure what other opinion we need? We will be seeing the oncologist within the week and they’ll tell us treatment options.. I pray. I’ve been begging our healthcare system to give my mom an mri of her abdomen.. she’s been getting blood transfusions since oct of last year. Her blood kept gong super low. Couldn’t find where it was going. Did a colonoscopy last oct and 2 endoscopy.. I begged then and then again at every specialist appt after that. Doctor kept telling me that’s his job and not mine. I’m not the doctor.. asshole had he just done them, we would have caught it sooner. Welcome to Canada, where we pay a million dollars in taxes(or what feels it) and the doctors refuse to give us what we are asking for.

User avatar
mobrouser
Posts: 94
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2018 1:44 pm
Location: Ontario

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby mobrouser » Wed Jul 11, 2018 8:30 pm

I am so sorry to read your story.
My oldest was 5 when my father died, and 11 and the youngest 5 when my mother died.
They didn't need to hear details other than Grandad and Grandma were very sick and left us.
I felt like an orphan (and still do years later) as I have no blood relatives in Canada other than my 2 boys.
I hope you are able to reach out to family for support.

:( mob
CC Dx Oct 2017 @ age 58
Laparoscopic hemi-colectomy Dec 2017
Adenocarcinoma ascending colon – 6cm x 6cm x 2cm, Low Grade, penetrates to peritoneum
T4a N2a M0, Stage IIIC
lymph nodes 6 positive out of 18
FOLFOX started Jan 16 2018; finished Aug 2 2018 (felt like a year)
CEA - 01/15/18 - 2.8; 07/29/18 - 5.3
CT scan Aug 8 2018 - Clear
PET scan Sept 6 2018 (thought about bringing the cat :wink: ) - Clear

dliu
Posts: 32
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:16 am

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby dliu » Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:54 am

Tjas1987 wrote:I begged then and then again at every specialist appt after that. Doctor kept telling me that’s his job and not mine. I’m not the doctor.. asshole had he just done them, we would have caught it sooner. Welcome to Canada, where we pay a million dollars in taxes(or what feels it) and the doctors refuse to give us what we are asking for.


Wow, this guy sounds like a handful. I hope your oncologist will be supportive and helpful and will give you encouraging news to end the very difficult week you've all been going through. And hope you don't have to see the first doctor again! Keep us updated.
Caring for my mum, 65
Sigmoid resection, multiple liver mets
09/05/2018 Dx Stage IV, 6/11 LN - KRAS G12V
28/05/2018 First round of FOLFOX + Avastin

CEA down from 6000+ (05/2018) to 843 (08/2018) to 377 (11/2018)
9/10 rounds with Oxaliplatin
8/10 rounds with Bevacizumab

Capri
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2018 5:59 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Capri » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:47 pm

I understand your anger. I don't have much advice other than keep pushing for the care you want for your mom. There is a lot of support here. (((hugs)))
Mom to son 46 yo at Dx (2017)
9/17 rectal bleeding
12/17 colonoscopy sigmoid tumor; CT & MRI chest, abd,& pelvis clear; CEA normal
1/18 Robotic resection, Path: adenocarcinoma, Stg. IIIA T3 N1 MX, mod. differentiated, margins clear
2/18 Port placed; 2/26/18 Begins FOLFOX
6/18 On Early surveillance CT 2 liver hemangiomas, PET scan-nothing "lit up"
Neuropathy has started.
7/30/18 Completed 12 cycles of FOLFOX.
Port removed October
11/2/18 Clean colonoscopy

Tjas1987
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:46 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Tjas1987 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:31 pm

mobrouser wrote:I am so sorry to read your story.
My oldest was 5 when my father died, and 11 and the youngest 5 when my mother died.
They didn't need to hear details other than Grandad and Grandma were very sick and left us.
I felt like an orphan (and still do years later) as I have no blood relatives in Canada other than my 2 boys.
I hope you are able to reach out to family for support.

:( mob



Thank you. I’m grateful for my sisters niece and my moms siblings that I’m able to reach out to. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I wish my 2.5 year old would be older so he could remember the grandma she is ❤️

Tjas1987
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:46 pm

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby Tjas1987 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:37 pm

dliu wrote:
Tjas1987 wrote:I begged then and then again at every specialist appt after that. Doctor kept telling me that’s his job and not mine. I’m not the doctor.. asshole had he just done them, we would have caught it sooner. Welcome to Canada, where we pay a million dollars in taxes(or what feels it) and the doctors refuse to give us what we are asking for.


Wow, this guy sounds like a handful. I hope your oncologist will be supportive and helpful and will give you encouraging news to end the very difficult week you've all been going through. And hope you don't have to see the first doctor again! Keep us updated.


UnfortuNtely apparently that doctor.. is chief of medicine on my moms unit in the hospital. So that’s fun, I stare him down and I’m sure he realizes who we are.
My moms blood transfusion doctor came in the other day apologizing. Saying if he had a time machine and only were allowed to use it once, this would be the time he would use it. He kept apologizing for not finding the cancer in October during a colonoscopy then. Said it was probably in stage 1-2 and has become aggressive now. He had tears in his eyes.. he couldn’t stop apologizing to my mom and myself .. he came over from a different hospital. His bedside manner is very old school. Tomorrow we’re going to our first oncology appt .. im nervous for it. But I’m trying to keep positive. I can’t sleep because I’m so anxious for it..

DarknessEmbraced
Posts: 3155
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:54 pm
Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: Second parent diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:07 am

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Dad and for your mother's diagnosis!8hugs*
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17


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