It's All in the Choice of Words

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Pollyanna
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It's All in the Choice of Words

Postby Pollyanna » Tue Nov 28, 2006 12:35 pm

During this cancer challenge, I have been trying very hard to use just the right words to describe to friends and family about the process I'm going through, in order to keep a positive spin on things.

I call my chemotherapy time "Sessions", rather that rounds, as that sounds like a fight.

I call my time in the oncology department "receiving chemotherapy", as opposed to "undergoing" chemotherapy. Undergoing sounds like I'm doing this against my will, that I'm a victim.

What I'm having a challenge with is the actual dealing with the cancer. I hate the phrase "battling cancer", for while we try our hardest to deal with it, the battle scenario seems to empower the cancer, i.e. it's a worthy and powerful opponent. Don't get me wrong, I as much as anyone on this site knows the struggles and hardships we all go through to rise above.

Call me morbid, but I read the obits every day. And one of the phrases I absolutely detest is "lost their battle with cancer". That makes this dear person sound like a loser, an unworthy opponent, and it also makes the cancer seem like a unbeatable foe.

Can anyone come up with a phrase better that "battle with cancer"? There's got to be something better to describe it.

Maggie

Postby Maggie » Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:05 pm

Maybe overcoming cancer?

Molly
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Postby Molly » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:30 pm

Age old question that we've been talking about for a while. Same thing goes for what to call us. Survivors? Patients? I don't like either of those, necessarily.

Funny. To this day, it absolutely drives me up a tree when people capitalize the words colon cancer...and it happens ALL THE TIME!

Pollyanna
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It's All in the Choice of Words

Postby Pollyanna » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:44 pm

I went through what my new title would be after a confrontation that my husband had with an emerg nurse when I was having major problems with my first session of chemo. She said, "She had an operation for colon cancer - then she's a cancer patient". To which my husband replied, "No, the cancer was removed; she's not a cancer patient anymore". Back and forth they went - I couldn't talk, my throat was way too sore. Dear hubby
wasn't able to change this lady's paradigms.

As a result, I now refer to myself as a chemotherapy patient, which indeed is all that I am. (Well, not all I am, but you get the point).

When I was working as a lab tech, my friend Moira dubbed me "Baroness von Analyses". Now when I write to her, I'm Baroness von Chemotherapy.

How's that?

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Postby rthornton » Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:36 pm

I don't know what words are best to refer to "cancer patients," or "survivors," or whatever ... I don't really care to be honest. I'm more concerned with the results of CT/PET scans than how someone tip-toes around the fact that I have cancer. They can call me "that guy with the tumors" if it makes them happy. However ... I developed anal fissures last year when I suffered from excessive 5FU diarrhea. I didn't really like telling people that I was having problems with anal fissures, so I'd say "I'm getting a visit from my new friend Fissures McBurnslot." It turned out to be a good euphemism.

Rodney

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Postby Guest » Tue Nov 28, 2006 8:15 pm

Here I was thinking that I was the only one. I don’t like the cancer vernacular either, and am particularly bothered by the war metaphors. Following is a link to an interesting article written by Barbara Ehrenreich that, towards the end of the article, tackles this subject.

-M

http://www.bcaction.org/Pages/LearnAbou ... rland.html

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Billy
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whatcha callit

Postby Billy » Thu Nov 30, 2006 1:37 pm

I like to have fun with telling people I have cancer, it's just part of my sick sense of humor. "I'm dancing with the devil." "I'm tumorific! "I gots me a fatal disease." (ok, that one may be a bit morbid) One of my favorite t-shirts says "Hug me! I'm not contagious, it's just cancer." "I'm fighting." "I'm struggling." "I'm battling." "I've got a REALLY bad case of the flu." "I'm a true Lamazza." (that one needs a little explination to those of you not in my family. You see, in my lifetime alone, my mother's family, the Lamazzas, have lost 4 people to cancer)

Of course everyone is different, but I think it's ok to empower the cancer. The truth of the matter is that the cancer does have power, lots and lots of power. BUT...what we do, how we do it, exerts even greater power. Knowing your enemy gives you more strength to fight it.

The other thing I've noticed is that my loved ones feel a greater need to use language to asuage themselves. They are the ones that need to differentiate between a "patient' and a "survivor". Personally, I know what I am, and what I'm doing. I don't care if it's called "not-so-bad-happy-smiley-day disease", I know what's going on. :D

What I've found very interesting as well is the log list of euphamisms that my friends and I have come up with for vomiting.

Billy
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

http://billyscolon.blogspot.com

Molly
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Postby Molly » Thu Nov 30, 2006 1:42 pm

Billy! Love it! We at The Colon Club also like to say (and I'm blaming Erika for this) that we have Ass Cancer. 8)

rthornton
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Postby rthornton » Thu Nov 30, 2006 2:57 pm

Maybe we could use a vague White House press conference approach to describe our fight with cancer, much like they use to describe the war in Iraq.

"There is territorial dispute among rival and opposing biological factions in the general vicinity of my bowels, perhaps but not conclusively involving weapons of ass destruction."

Just a thought ...

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Postby Christine » Thu Nov 30, 2006 3:16 pm

You guys are too funny! "Fissures McBurnsalot" made me spit water all over my computer.

A friend of mine suggested that I subtitle my blog (Colon Cancer Sucks Ass) with "The Pooper is Broken."

I also have the disturbing sense of humor - my roommates and I just signed a year long lease and one of them said to me, "well, you're stuck with us for another year." I told him "that's okay... statistically, I'll be dead by August." Completely morbid, but it made me laugh.

I love the White House press conference idea! "weapons of ass destruction" :lol:

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cynnycal
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Postby cynnycal » Thu Nov 30, 2006 5:44 pm

i love the 'ass destruction'...yes!

and i think my blog will tentatively be titled "the day i stopped farting"

(er, the explanation there being that after my surgery, i now have what i lovingly refer to as a 'barbie-butt' which sounded better to me than mono-butt. and hence...i can never again be blamed. if i say it's the dog...then it's the damned dog alright!)

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PGLGreg
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Postby PGLGreg » Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:43 pm

Anonymous wrote:Following is a link to an interesting article written by Barbara Ehrenreich that, towards the end of the article, tackles this subject.

-M

Thanks for the reference, and it was interesting. As well as long, bitter, cynical, and (imho) not always cogent. Her conclusion about "survivor" is:
Ehrenreich wrote:No one brings up my own objection to the term, though: that the mindless triumphalism of "survivorhood" denigrates the dead and the dying.
So if you refer to someone not dying of cancer as a "survivor", you insult those dying of it. Does that make any sense? Not to me.
Greg
stage 2a rectal cancer 11/05 at age 63
LAR 12/05 with adjuvant radiation+5FU,leucovorin 1-2/06
NED for 12 years, cured

Pollyanna
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Postby Pollyanna » Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:52 am

I think the umbrage with the word "survivor" is somewhat akin to the whole battle scenario. If you're a survivor, yay for you. If you weren't a survivor, what didn't you do to get you in the "survivor" category? I personally find it kind of insulting and almost, in a weird way, elitist.

Lifes2short
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Name calling

Postby Lifes2short » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:18 pm

Go ahead, call me a "survivor". Today I'm a cancer survivor. It's been almost a year. In April I was told I could be dead by now. I survived and I feel pretty darned good when I'm not suffering from chemo side effects. I intend to be a survivor next year and in five years and in ten years. Bring it on!

To me, this is a battle - a battle for my life and I will fight it to the bitter end. I intend to win, but I know that the odds favor the cancer. I don't feel that this attitude denigrates those who have died. It is a horrible, miserable, scary disease. If I lose the battle, then at least I'll know that I gave it my very best shot. My kids, my family and my friends will know that life is precious and I did everything in my power to live.

I think I have to go with the folks with the dark humor here. Anything that originates in your butt certainly has potential to be funny - of course if you're talking about cancer it's bound to be dark humor.

I like to refer to the day that I had my a-hole relocated. My friend asked me how that's working for me. I said that I preferred having it in the back - out of sight, out of mind, ya know.

About a month post-op I went to a party. I was still having trouble standing up completely straight after such extensive abdominal surgery. The subject of height came up and I mentioned that I was 1/2 inch shorter since surgery. My friend held up her finger and thumb a half inch apart and said "so your butt-hole was this big??" Now that was funny!

Magnolia
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Postby Magnolia » Mon Dec 04, 2006 9:59 pm

About the middle of the summer I stopped saying I had cancer. I started saying I was being treated for cancer. I decided at that point I didn't have it any more. I never liked the "battling" term. Too melodramatic.

The day after I was diagnosed I called myself a "one day survivor." I'm also a rape survivor. I've always hated the term "victim." It's so not me. It wasn't then and it isn't now. I don't think it does anyone any good to think of themselves that way.


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