Aqx99 wrote:I do view my husband's alcoholism as a choice. Being an amputee is not something one makes a decision on every day.
Maggie Nell wrote:Aqx99 wrote:I do view my husband's alcoholism as a choice. Being an amputee is not something one makes a decision on every day.
I'm confused. Is your husband an amputee?
Aqx99 wrote:One important step I took was seeing the counselor at the cancer center. I'm seeing her again next week. If she recommends that I go to someone else due to my particular issues, I'll do that. Something else I have been doing is thinking about all the things I used to like doing, but stopped because he didn't like to do them. Like camping, I love camping and haven't been in years because he refuses to go. I'm going to start planning some camping trips for when I am well again. My nurse navigator asked me an interesting question when I called to tell her that my husband had left. She asked me who I am. I honestly didn't have an answer because I changed myself so much based on him and his wishes. That's where going back to the stuff I like to do comes in. I'm taking back my life.
BeansMama wrote:Hi Anne,
Lee mentioned me in her comment. I am going through something similar to you. My Ex had an affair while I was receiving Folfirinox - or as my oncologist called it "the kitchen sink". To put it bluntly I was dying and had no emotional support because he was putting all that energy into his girlfriend.
I know he couldn't handle the cancer. He keeps saying it was him and his inability to talk about his feelings. Gave me some pathetic reasons - I left the toaster on the counter, I didn't fold the towels right, I didn't make the bed as soon as I got up in the morning (I had 2 kids to get ready and out the door to school as well as getting myself ready for work or an appointment).
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Honestly it sounds like him leaving was the best thing he could have done for you. It will reduce the amount of stress and bull pucky you have to deal with so you can focus on you. I know it is difficult going through this alone. I have made friends here that I have become very close with. I have always believed that family isn't just DNA. I don't get along with my family very well and they are all still in upstate NY where I am originally from.
On a side note - how is this for coincidence.... My name is also Anne and I moved to NC from TX a year ago. Where in NC are you located?
Aqx99 wrote:BeansMama wrote:Hi Anne,
Lee mentioned me in her comment. I am going through something similar to you. My Ex had an affair while I was receiving Folfirinox - or as my oncologist called it "the kitchen sink". To put it bluntly I was dying and had no emotional support because he was putting all that energy into his girlfriend.
I know he couldn't handle the cancer. He keeps saying it was him and his inability to talk about his feelings. Gave me some pathetic reasons - I left the toaster on the counter, I didn't fold the towels right, I didn't make the bed as soon as I got up in the morning (I had 2 kids to get ready and out the door to school as well as getting myself ready for work or an appointment).
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Honestly it sounds like him leaving was the best thing he could have done for you. It will reduce the amount of stress and bull pucky you have to deal with so you can focus on you. I know it is difficult going through this alone. I have made friends here that I have become very close with. I have always believed that family isn't just DNA. I don't get along with my family very well and they are all still in upstate NY where I am originally from.
On a side note - how is this for coincidence.... My name is also Anne and I moved to NC from TX a year ago. Where in NC are you located?
Talk about coincidences, I grew up in Elmira, NY. I live in Pfafftown, NC, west of Winston-Salem. I have heard people say that getting cancer was the best thing that could have happened to them, I doubted it until this all happened to me. I had no idea how trapped I was, until that huge sense of freedom washed over me a few days after the shock wore off.
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