Ex is in Hospice

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PainInTheAss
Posts: 668
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:08 am

Ex is in Hospice

Postby PainInTheAss » Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:42 am

My ex husband has stage IV medullary thyroid cancer. They moved him into hospice last night. So surreal to read about it here so many times and then see it first hand with the father of my children. I went to go see him with my son. We were both shocked to hear that they said his organs were shutting down, and he only had days to live. His scans were stable only a month ago. He was just playing bongo drums at a gig a few weeks ago. We thought he would be in hospice for months. It broke my heart to see my 6'3" 25 year old son cry. We agreed that I would tell his siblings, and he would tell the other family members. I've let my youngest (20) be in denial for quite awhile, but it was finally time to face the truth. She's just a puppy still wanting her daddy to be there for her. It hurts so much to see them hurting, and there's nothing I can do.

Weird questions come up like what should we do with his van? What about his dog? It's all so sudden. His birthday is Sunday. He might die on his birthday. How sad.

My 22 year old told me that my cancer was not allowed to come back now. God, I hope not.
47yo single mom of 4 (24, 21, 18, 16) at Dx
6/13 - RC T4b IIIc 5LNs on PET CEA 5.4
8/13 - Finish chemorad
10/13 - APR/hyst+ovaries/perm colostomy 2/12 nodes+
6/14 - Finish Xelox 6 rds
1/15 - CT clear CEA 0.2
10/15 - CT/MRI clear CEA 0.7
4/16 - CT clear
10/16 - CT/MRI clear CEA 0.6
5/17 - PET clear? Follow up MRI to verify inflammation

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susie0915
Posts: 945
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:17 am
Facebook Username: Susan DeGrazia Hostetter
Location: Michigan

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby susie0915 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:20 am

So sorry for you and your children. So not fair that they have to deal with both of their parents having cancer.
You stay positive as I'm sure you will because your kids need you. Prayers for you and your family. Hugs.
58 yrs old Dx @ 55
5/15 DX T3N0MO
6/15 5 wks chemo/rad
7/15 sigmoidoscopy/only scar tissue left
8/15 PET scan NED
9/15 LAR
0/24 nodes
10/15 blockage. surgery,early ileo rev, c-diff inf :(
12/15 6 rds of xelox
5/16 CT lung scarring/inflammation
9/16 clear colonoscopy
4/17 C 4mm lung nod
10/17 pel/abd CT NED
11/17 CEA<.5
1/18 CT/Lung no change in 4mm nodule
5/18 CEA<.5, CT pel/abd/lung NED
11/18 CEA .6
5/19 CT NED, CEA <.5
10/19 Clear colonscopy
11/19 CEA <.5

SweetC80
Posts: 103
Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:28 pm

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby SweetC80 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:24 am

I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers
My Mom
12/16 Stage IIIb Rectal Ca CEA 1.2
1/17-2/17 Chemoradiation CEA 4.4
5/17 Entire Colon, Rectum & Anus removed Perm Ileostomy Bag
7/17 FOLFOX
9/17 Stage IVb 9cm Liver Met & 7mm Lung Nodule CEA 197
9/17 FOLFIRI CEA 160
10/17 Confirmed KRAS Pos CEA 210
11/17 Met growths Liver 10cm & Lung 8mm CEA 425
12/17 FOLFOX again Met growths Liver 13cm & Lung 1cm CEA 405
12/17 Xifaxan due to Hepatic Encephalopathy
12/17 New 2cm liver Met
1/18 CEA 992
2/8/18 Passed Peacefully

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Robino1
Posts: 463
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2017 12:09 pm
Facebook Username: Robin.lawthers
Location: Florida

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby Robino1 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 10:10 am

Your poor kids!

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through so much. {{{ hugs}}}
At 54 2014 1st colonoscopy colon cancer detect
Colon resect margins clear. No chemo Stage II
2017
Distend abd, pain in intestines.
CT scan seeding & Ascites
Lap diag - cancer on the omentum
CEA 217; 219
FOLFOX started 6/17
CEA 202
8/29/17 CT melting of tumor.
Latest CT scan shows 2 new tumors and return of ascites.
CEA: (2017)9/30 -109; 10/12 -99.1; 11/4 -90.7; 11/30 -70.7; 12/14 -83.4; (2018)1/4 -73.3; 2/1-84.2; 89.2; 89.8; 88.5; 81.8: 93.5; 107; 119
BRAF V600e

DarknessEmbraced
Posts: 3573
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:54 pm
Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Sat Sep 23, 2017 10:52 am

I'm so sorry you and your family are dealing with this!*hugs*
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17
NED 12/21/18
Clear colonoscopy 09/23/19
Clear 5 year scans 11/21/19- Considered cured! :)

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ocstacy
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:29 pm
Facebook Username: stacy

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby ocstacy » Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:34 pm

I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. May he find comfort and peace and same with your family.

Hugs
Caregiver/daughter to dear mother age 78, dx 5/09/17 because of me!! :wink:
Rectal CA Stage 3 low-grade adenocarcinoma- 6 cm
Neoadjuvant start 7/10/17 ended 08/16/17
3D Lap. surgery @ Keck USC, Dr. Sang Lee 10/17/17 temp ileostomy
11/1 hospitalized abscess/hernia - home 11/06/17 antibiotics
NO LYMPHS INVOLVED! NEAR PATHOLOGICAL RESPONSE! YAY! :shock:
Took her last chemo med 05/10/18! Ileo reversal 07/24/18
1st BM after reversal 07/25/18 Anal Fissure 8/15/18
Me:1st Colonoscopy age 38. 08/17 Benign polp.

Lee
Posts: 6202
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby Lee » Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:47 pm

I too offer my sympathies to you and your family. I hope he is not in pain.

This had got to be rough for your kids. Both parents dealt with cancer.


(((PainInTheAss and your kids)))

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 16 years and counting!

jhocno197
Posts: 817
Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 9:33 pm

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby jhocno197 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 6:14 pm

I'm so sorry.
DH - dx Dec 2014, stage IV with bladder & peritoneal involvement - non-resectable
Colostomy
FOLFOX failed
FOLFIRI failed
Tumor actually distending pelvic skin
Not a candidate for last-ditch pelvic exenteration
Stivarga finally begun 2/19/16
Tumor growing/fungating
Lonsurf started 11/18/16
Died 3/10/17

PainInTheAss
Posts: 668
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:08 am

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby PainInTheAss » Sun Sep 24, 2017 7:42 am

Thank you all for your kind words.

I agree on the not fair refrain, for sure. When I was diagnosed as a IIIc, I thought that if anything happened to me, they would still have their dad. Men in his family live to 100. So, when he was diagnosed as a terminal stage IV, I just felt like there was no safety net. But all these clear scans have given me more confidence in a long future. I can't imagine them going through this again, at least not any time soon. But they are tough, and seem to be handling things well. I was more worried about them than they were, actually.

They spent the day today with him playing his favorite music and talking to him, but he wasn't responding very much, they said.

F*** cancer.
47yo single mom of 4 (24, 21, 18, 16) at Dx
6/13 - RC T4b IIIc 5LNs on PET CEA 5.4
8/13 - Finish chemorad
10/13 - APR/hyst+ovaries/perm colostomy 2/12 nodes+
6/14 - Finish Xelox 6 rds
1/15 - CT clear CEA 0.2
10/15 - CT/MRI clear CEA 0.7
4/16 - CT clear
10/16 - CT/MRI clear CEA 0.6
5/17 - PET clear? Follow up MRI to verify inflammation

stu
Posts: 1460
Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:46 pm

Re: Ex is in Hospice

Postby stu » Sun Sep 24, 2017 3:01 pm

Just so sad for your kids . Thinking of you all ,
Stu
supporter to my mum who lives a great life despite a difficult diagnosis
stage4 2009 significant spread to liver
2010 colon /liver resection
chemo following recurrence
73% of liver removed
enjoying life treatment free
2016 lung resection
Oct 2017 nice clear scan . Two lung nodules disappeared
Oct 2018. Another clear scan .


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