Bev G wrote:yes, Rob. "Cured" butt hopelessly changed. Like you, I am so grateful. However, I'm working on losing the shame associated with complaining about being rendered largely useless thanks to the chemo.
Bev G wrote:yes, Rob. "Cured" butt hopelessly changed. Like you, I am so grateful. However, I'm working on losing the shame associated with complaining about being rendered largely useless thanks to the chemo. Neuropathy, no balance, frequent falls, bilateral cataracts, diffuse cerebral atrophy and its attendant defects. About a month ago I had a stroke in my left retina, and have permanently lost the upper horizontal 1/3 of my vision in my left eye. Who knows if that is chemo related? I have been referred to the stroke clinic at Dartmouth next week. My kidneys are having a problem now with leaking a lot of protein...butt that could well be diabetes related. It just seems like stuff is really piling up. Still, I'm so thankful to be alive. I'm glad you're alive too, Rob.
Ron50 wrote:Thanks Rob and my best wishes to all who bared their souls for this post. One of my biggest hangovers with the aftermath of cancer is the feeling of helplessness. I was one of those people who could do just about everything to some degree and if anything needs fixing I would fix it. Now I can't ask for help! I have a 4wd tray back ute. All of the belts in the motor needed changing. My boss's husband is a mechanic as well as her son in law. It just didn't seem right to ask for help. So I did it all myself. It took the best part of a week before I didn't feel like crap. So I did the same with doing an oil change and changing all of the filters. Man I am flat out getting the lid off a jar let alone an oil filter in the bowels of the engine. I reckon it took two weeks to get over it. Marty my boss's husband said I should have called he would have done it for me. I had asked him three times in the past year to do the belts and the filters. He always found an excuse not to do it but because I give up and do it myself at a cost I am the fool. I was not asking for charity I was willing to pay for the work. Do people think that we will become a lifetime commitment if they do something for us. I just can't seem to get it across that because I no longer have cancer I am all better. Sometimes and a lot more of late I wish fervently I hadn't survived cancer. It was a clean way out sure I would have had to endure the pain of dying but now I have to endure the pain of living.Ron.
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