So I got to ring the bell today. Finished my 4th Xelox, with one xeloda only cycle to make 5. I know lots of people do 6 but my onc seems to think 5 is enough. Doses have been lowered from the start, so I hope it is enough, but good to be done. Just two more weeks of xeloda and then ct scan reversal in a few months. Really hoping and praying that is the end of cancer treatment for me.
I am going to bitch off topic a bit. In general I have been lucky in life, and I certainly am lucky to have hopefully caught this cancer early. I know I should be grateful. But I am just feeling like I am being kicked when I am down. My husband got laid off yesterday after only 4 months at his new job. So today should have been a celebration but instead I feel numb and depressed. This is after he was laid off a month before I was diagnosed last fall from a job we had moved cross country to take a year and a half prior. That time it was a hostile takeover with hundreds of layoffs so was easier to understand. This time he didn't really get a reason, but his boss retired a month after he started and the new vp has been clearing some people out to bring in his people, but my dh really thought things were going well in his group. He is really taking this hard, my daughter locked herself in her room sobbing when she heard because she is afraid we will have to move (which is at least a 50/50 likelihood) I guess at least I am almost done with this process so hopefully after reversal I can start looking for jobs as well and something will work out for one of us. I just was hoping to have a chance to live a normal life for awhile after all of this.
I hope I am not offending any stage 4 folks because you guys have it so much worse. Truly no comparison.