It is what it is

[trbiggins]

Jackie

No need to apologize.

Richard

[Deb m]

Richard,

Sorry your having to go thru so much. I'm a very prayerful person and also believe that God's hand is in everything that comes our way whether good or bad. The bad part is sometimes hard to understand and digest, but that comes with grace from prayer. It was prayer and the trust in God that got my husband and I thru our bout with cancer. Things have gone very well for us, but even if that weren't the case, my faith would remain strong and I would have the peace that God would take care of myself and our two sons if my husband died.

I pray for everybody on this board including their caregivers and families. You and your family are in our prayers everyday!

God bless,

Debbie

[BrownBagger]

As usual, Richard, I agree with Juliej. Just focus on quality of life and try to forget that you're sick. If you don't feel it, try not to suffer from it. I think I've gotten a lot of mileage out of pretending that I'm going to live to be 100. I still kinda believe that--part of me, anyway.

As to preparing for your exit, I've always believed that if you want to leave a mess, get killed in a car accident or by a heart attack or something else that's quick and unexpected. That's when you leave a mess. With months (years?) left to plan, you should be able to straighten out your affairs--as depressing as that might be. Time is precious--and we have more of it than some.

All the best to you in your decisions and planning.

[mackswife]

Richard - The last time chemo "worked" to beat back my husband's disease was in the summer of 2014. He stopped chemo for 6 weeks in preparation for HIPEC and liver resection, but that surgery was aborted when micro-mets were found throughout the liver. After that, xeloda, erbitux and celebrex failed, and did a course of folfiri and erbitux. He decided to take a chemo break and tend to the "bucket list", which included a long trip to see our children and granddaughter in Italy. My goodness, he felt so great on that trip last April! What a gift the respite from treatment was, although all the memories I knew we were making were bittersweet, given the circumstances. So here we are, approaching 4 months without treatment. CEA is climbing and he had he is experiencing more pain and fatigue (all managabe right now). Onc. has suggested a return to folfox which kicked DH's butt when he took 12 rounds post resection in 2012. Our oncologist is not hopeful chemo will help, but is willing to give it a try if Mack is willing. We agree with the doctor's philosophy that he doesn't believe in treating people until they die. I think Mack will decline the offer of more chemo, although I'll support whatever decision he makes. Both of us are afraid that a return to chemo will throw a wrench in the mostly good days we're having right now. It is our faith in God that sustains us....it (Faith) has helped us discern the difference between what is eternal and what is temporary. Our eyes are fixes on the other side of this storm. Peace (which is not absence of grief or heartache) is the overflow. My prayers are with you and your family.
Pattie

[Crystald]

Richard,

Glad to have an update from you. I can only echo what others have already said, their advice is excellent.

There is strength in prayer, don't despair. Wait until you consult with your Doctor.

Until then live each day fully, do not allow cancer to steal anymore time from you & your family.

Prayers up.

[Nik Colon]

Just wanted to send prayers, love, hugs, and best wishes to you and your family

[Pathfindergrl28]

I'm sorry... though I don't have any medical advice to contribute, I can say I believe in God too. Never stop having faith or praying to him if you believe. I have seen God work many miracles, even in my own life. There is a doctor that lives in the same county as me that had cancer back around 1998. He is an evangelist now, and he came to my church once to give his testimony. He was given only a few weeks to live then. He was terminal, and his own doctors had given him no hope. He was a Christian, and his entire church and the entire community started praying for him then. They prayed for him for 40 days & 40 nights I think it was. There was a local football field that was set up where locals could go out & pray for him. They prayed without ceasing, day & night. Someone was always praying for him. I think they may have fasted as well. Just when he thought he was going to die, with only days/hours to live, he was laying in his hospital bed when he said the tumors began slowly fading away & shrinking. They did that over the next few days I think he said, and then he was healed. He couldn't believe it and his doctors were baffled. He is now practicing again as an internal medicine doctor and is still cancer free! I know everyone's faith is different, but I believe in him. Plus, stories like this keep my faith strong. I have felt him in my own life, and he has carried me through much. I don't know why some people are healed from cancer and some aren't. But I do believe God does heal, and in my personal belief cancer is straight from the pits of hell. Everyone definitely has the right to believe what they want -Christian, atheist, etc., but I myself believe. I pray that everyone affected by cancer in any way beat this awful disease, and be healed as well. I lost my beautiful grandma to uterine cancer in '07, I watched my other grandma fight uterine cancer as well. She however beat it, and is now almost 80 thankfully... Hugs, and prayers to all.

[lhawk0730]

YOU are not a burden. YOU have done nothing TO your family. I don't begrudge my mom one single moment of my time or energy in helping her. In actuality, I usually look back and only regret I didnt spend even more time or have an even better attitude, etc, etc. I consider it a privilege to be there for her and I thank God I have a job and family that allows me to be there for her. We too have grown closer in this last year. Yes I would have preferred a different avenue to this bonding; wouldn't we all? Point being, YOU have not failed them one little bit. YOU are still the same amazing gift from God to your wife and girls. This world is not without trials and suffering, for it is not the home our Father has in mind for us. Many hugs to all of you. I hope you make many more wonderful, enjoyable memories with them, GUILT FREE! You aren't out of the game my friend, people beat this.

[hart2hart]

Hi Richard -

Remember to get all your questions ready for Dr Kemeny. As i said in my PM you very well could have a Mutation
in the liver mets that was not in the original tumor. Thus - Different chemo regimes would work much better
on those mets. Pete had Kras Wild on Rectal Met and Kras Mutant on his liver met. I do believe that there are other
drugs combos that can be used and in the pump as well. We had his tumors tested at Foundation One ---- I do belive
MSK could do this as well. It would be good to have a FULL genome workout done on both the colon and liver. Remember that the new immunotherpies as well as the New Drugs In Clinical Trials are out there ----- If you check the MSKCC website you will see about 40 Clincal
Trials ongoing. Maybe JulieJ will chime-in about the other drugs used in Hai and Systemic as well. She has been and continues to be so
helpful to Pete and I and everyone on this Wonderful Board! We LOVE YOU Richard and kbow that Dr K has a Great Plan in store for you.


Hugs, lots of them!



Julie and Pete