Holy Sh*t

[jeanette57]

Trama of an ostomy person. Well, I am going on my first trip since 2011. I am going to a mineral soak spa so I tried out the water bags I researched for sooooo long Hollester 2 parter that is a one time deal -were for me. It is small and light, fit under normal shirts, could burp it, so today I went over to help my mother with taxes. I was working really hard and felt a tug --- pushed away from table and then a BANG - the sound that the biscut can's make when you open them. OH MY GOD - the explosions pushed the overly full bag 8 inches from my leg with my dress, floors, ME covered - Yes the bag popped off like a weapon.

The rest was trying to NOT let 4 dogs see the excitement so no paw prints. To check the Tax papers (IRS would not like brown stains). Paper towel -----more of them, and me crawling out the house to walk home covered in muck..... what a day. I have had 3 accidents as a newbie but since 5-12 I have never had one fly - spill - explode - however, I live with a sense of humor. It didn't happen in friends house, didn't happen in crowded store, didn't happen at movies 0- so took a long shower, and pray reallly hard no neighbor saw me strip outside on the patio as I did not want the dirty dress inside.

May be it those little green men playing a trick on me-- however, I do NOT have your gold, go play somewhere else!

[sadysue]

I've had more leaks than I care to count but your's sounds truly unique! Explosive pouch! Glad you were at your mom's house. Have fun during your spa visit and no more explosions

[Karen32]

Oh dear. I started out excited to hear about the bags and was thinking they might be a good choice for me. Then I reached the part about the explosion. I guess I won't look for those particular bags.

I've been fortunate. I'm just shy of 3 years with a colostomy and have never experienced an explosion and not a single leak in the past year. Took some time, but I found what works. Hope you do too!

[SammyJ]

Glad you can see the funny side. During my time with an ileostomy i just binned a couple of perfectly good dresses / tops. After driving home covered from chest to thighs in runny poo, i just didnt feel like any more washing......

[jeanette57]

hi Karen

I think the small 2 piece will be ok for the spa, I will tape around and walch like a hawk. On doc only letting me do 10 minutes in and 20 out, 10 in and 20 out.
I love my Hollisters 8331 - they are a one piece, drainable. I like them because in a pinch I can drain into a zip lock bag, clean fast and go.. got this down when on long drives and no restrooms around.

the humor was needed today. Mom is a mess, she doesn't write english, was a war bride from germany and dad didn't want an american girl. Hum, poor dad got a wild bossy daughter (he passed in 95). I have taken care of mom most of the time, but wow this last year with cancer, chemo brain fog, she stuffed things in back rooms-

she is quaking because when I get back she will LEARN how to use that 4 drawer filing cabinet- Then get home order a pizza - treat for me and they deliver the wrong one...you just have to laugh. .. I picked off the yuck beef and dogs were happy. They called and wanted to drive out a free one, but only me and dogs so no keep it.

so now I am going to enjoy the pizza - try to figure what to pack for trip - 3 hour drive - what to wear---in hot and cold temps. Desert gets cold at night and we will be way out star watching (hope they don't want me to watch to long) I have a good book waiting for me...happy happppppy and realllly happy-

[MrPleistocene]

:(
May be it those little green men

New favorite appliance nickname - "My little pot of gold". Bonus points if said with an Irish accent.

[Guinevere]

OMG!! How funny and horrifying all in one! I haven't had an explosion but it's been close when trying to get home after a CT. The barium really cleans me out! At least at your mom's, it was a 'safe' place if there ever is a safe place for something like that to happen. Glad you're okay and hope you enjoy the spa. Sounds like you've earned it for sure with that li'l pot o' gold!
God bless ~
Guinevere

[debzak]

I don't know if this suggestion is too late, but I had seen a pouch cover on line that was meant for water sports. Of course the picture is a muscular guy/pretty girl who say they use it for water skiing and the like. It looks like something that you wear over whatever pouch system you currently use. I didn't buy it, I am hoping for a reversal in july, so I am just not swimming right now

Debbi

[KarMel]

IRS gives us enough crap. I see nothing wrong with giving some back to them

[jeanette57]

Please give the web of the swiming pouch thing. If I find something reliable I am going to get my legs back (numb) with hot water pool therapy. They will NOT allow me in pool with what I have. the svelt belt looked good, but it is just a bag holder. They suggested a swim wet suit for ocean. Do you reallly know how hard rubber is to put one

Maybe it the memories of horror called a girddle- was a must before panty hose OH MY GOD I don't want to go that route. However if I had something to protect ME from germs in their water and pool, I will protect them from my little pot of gold.

Oh on a happy note. Went to local Irish Pub that serves free CornBeef Cabbage - and the blackest beer I have ever seen. 88 yr old mom drove and I shared driving home, she so enjoyed it. I loved the food until my feet started swelling- darn salt but oh so good for one time a year. However, next year, I am going to drink their RattleSnake Beer, sweet with a hellva bite. Local made.

[Rotorhead]

It's Cymed :

Cymedostomy.com

They sent me some samples, I tried them out, and they weren't for me - although plenty of other folks use them. The only thing that worked for me were the Coloplast sensura system 2-piece setup. Your mileage may vary - the best advice I can offer is to get as many different samples as you can, and put them all through their paces.

Aloha
RH

[Kathryn in MN]

IRS gives us enough crap. I see nothing wrong with giving some back to them

I just spit out my water when I read this! Good one!!!

[elise]

Literally HOLY crap!

You've got the best sense of humour and it's contagious!!!! Love you!!!

E

[jeanette57]

I have a great sense of humor. THANKS Daddy - However, today needed my guardian angels - they held tight and I survived having a port draw when the needle broke inside the port. Darn it hurt, but told them calmly - go get me a twiszer NOW- I was able to get ahold of end, and the over excited staff was able to pull it out straight. then they put numbing cream and ice....
I had a diabetic needle break in my tummy when dogs jumped and broke it. Alone, went to get twiszers and pulled it out myself. No big deal, didn't hurt like this one.

I think if I had wigged out they were lost on how to do things. Now I am checking email, packing and trying to laugh it off, but still have lots of cream on that port. got to run over to mom's to steal all the pine needles I can get for fire pit tomorrow. - I will be off line for a few days.

[sadysue]

Enjoy your vacation. Sounds like you really need it after the last week Have fun!