**please read this. my life is falling apart
We just found out my 56 year old mother has colon cancer after she had a colonoscopy after having some minor symptoms. There is about a one inch tumor in her ascending colon. They also saw one of her lymph nodes swollen on a scan but they can't confirm it spread there unless they go in and take the lymph nodes out and test (from my knowledge at least).**How bad does this sound to you guys?** We are waiting to hear back from cat scan results in the next few days and she is getting a second opinion from a recommended doctor on thursday this week. Her current doctor is talking about some chemo before surgery and then doing that small hole surgery where they don't really cut you open much.
I CANNOT imagine my life without my mom. She has three kids. I am 18 and I have a twin brother and an older brother who just graduated college. I am supposed to go to college next month but I don't know if I should??????? My mom stressed to my brother and I that we NEED to go and continue on with our lives. She was talking about how she has my dad and so many people in her life to worry about her and help her, and we need to worry about school. How can I ever do this? I am going to school about a half hour away and I'm supposed to dorm there. Should I just live at home? Would this be a big deal? I don't even care about "the college experience" and I just want to be there for my mom because I have come to realize she is my life. I just don't think I can sit in class and go back to a dorm to study with her on my mind.
I also feel like everyone is so upset or very pessimistic about this. Maybe it is just the initial shock of cancer? (this is our first week knowing). I talked to my dad last night and I told him to remain positive like he was doing and I said it will all work out. He said that this is a very big deal and it might not work out. What kind of thinking is this????????????? I am so broken up with the thought of my mom dying and I won't accept it. I feel like everyone is giving up before the fight has even begun
I already proposed us going to the beach this weekend and I'm trying to lighten the mood. How can I do more of this? Is there anything that I can say to my mom to make her feel better? Anything I can say to motivate her to beat this? She tells me she is going to fight it for all she is worth but she has talked to me in tears as though she was saying goodbye like she was suddenly about to die.
Please pray for my mom that she doesn't have really bad cancer!! I need advice about life right now!!!!!!!! Thanks