Postby cptmac » Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:51 pm
Thank you all for your support. It means the world to me. I shouldn't be ashamed to say I'm cured. I shouldn't feel ashamed to celebrate.
I cannot believe that I offer people false hope. Have you seen the statistics? And when you read this board, you hear a lot about what people have gone through, the horrendous side effects. You don't hear a lot from us, not much going on with us chemo types. Got cured from Stage IV types. We don't have much information to offer, because we didn't have many issues, so we don't come on boards. So I just let people know what happened to me, even though the majority on this board have had a lot of other issues. So no, I cannot imagine, in the least, that I am giving false hope. I encourage people to listen and see their doctors and to follow medical advice, not the advice of non-medical people on the board, no matter how medical they may sound.
So, sometimes, it makes me think people are just mean.
To paraphrase the lyrics from Taylor Swift. (I apologize for some of the mean words used against people who are mean, but I'm not creative enough to totally rewrite the song, but I hope you take if for the intent it was meant, stop being mean to me, just because I want to celebrate my curedness (and I don't care if that's not a word)..
You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man
You can take me down with just one single blow
But you don't know, what you don't know...
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again
I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now
'Cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know, what you don't know...
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't be cured.
But all you are is mean
All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so?..
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city (Why you gotta be so?..)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
cptmac
As long as you're alive, there is hope.
dx 7/04 stage IV
colon resection 8/04
liver resection 9/04 with HAI pump installed
Stage II trial w irinotecan as systemic and FUDR for direct chemo to liver via HAI pump
Cured since 9/04