Postby Bev G » Sun May 13, 2012 6:06 pm
Hi Ashlee:
I really like what everyone said (not so sure about that hormonal thing though)--anyway, I remember a long time ago one of the "brain-trust" saying that it took TWICE as long as one has been on chemo to fully recover from it. As you know, because we are "regular talkers" on the phone, I am tired all the time. It is a very rare day that I don't take a nap...even with no apparent sign of cancer. I have been off of chemo for 14 months...lots of things ARE better now, I am only nauseated every other day, my chemo brain has improved a lot, and let's see, what else.....OH! that's it! NOTHING. I believe chemo did a permanent number on me, but, what the heck, I'm cancer-free (as I strongly believe you are) and post-chemo life is what it is, and beats the h*ll out of the alternative.
I love how LOHIDOC explained the biology of it. Chemo sucks, that's for sure, but when one considers what it does, it's pretty awesome. You have gotten a lot of chemo, girl, while working full time in an incredibly stressful job, and doing it all on your own. Wouldn't it be so weird if you felt great already? Really, you've had so much chemo a lesser person would have crumbled and blown away by now (I know, there are a couple of others [Rick] who have gotten as much of this horrible poison) but really!
I hope and pray that you will be very, very patient with yourself. Get lots of rest. Eat frozen yogurt. Watch fun stuff on TV. Think about your next trip to Holland and plan it down to the inch! Think of getting to meet Cheesehead in person, you lucky duck. Dream and dream of a cancer-free future. Walk a little in your beloved park. GET A NEW CAT, PERHAPS? Then rest, and let your poor body recover. Ashlee, when you are resting, you are NOT doing nothing! Then, when you're not sure what you want to do, take a nap.
Your body has a lot of healing to do. Let's just assume (AT LEAST until the next scan...then the next...and the next...and the next) that you have this sucker beat! Live your life with great intentionality. Cancer has gotten more than enough out of you. Now, give yourself a break, plan for a wonderful future, then...GO TAKE A NAP!
So much love to you,
Bev
58 yo Type1 DM 48 years
12/09 Stage IV 2/22 nodes + liver met, colon resec
3 tx FOLFIRI, liver resec 4/10
9/10 6 mos off chemo, Neg PET&CTC CEA nl
2/11 finished total 10 rounds chemo
9/13 ^17th clean PET/CT NED for now