No chemo today: UPDATE 3/2

[Kathleen808]

Elissa,
Prayers and aloha coming to you from Hawaii. I think everyone has given you good advice. Breathe and put one foot in front of the other. Many things can make CEA rise. Your vacation was a huge blessing to ALL of you. Those family times are precious.
I'm thinking of you.

Aloha,
Kathleen

[elissa]

Really, really bad day! I called the onc this morning and he got back to me quickly. He suggested that we not play the wait and see game, and he scheduled my husband for for a CT scan of the abdomen this afternoon. He was thinking that it was probably some kind of infection, or possibly an absess from the fistula. Well, I just got off the phone with the onc, and believe it or not in the one extra week off the chemo he had cancer regrowth in all areas (lymph nodes, liver, colon). He had a freakin better chance of winning the lotto than having regrowth in one week. The onc said he has never seen this happen. The surgeon had originally warned me that his cancer was aggressive, but how the he** could it be this aggressive. This cannot bode well for the future. So, tomorrow we go back in and meet with the onc and make a new plan and get him back on chemo. I totally feel like I'm going to throw up. And I feel sick to my stomach that we went away on vacation....how unfair is that!!! I feel like I am at a total loss.

[jgall]

Oh my dear Elissa - my heart aches for you. I'm going to go throw up in sympathy with you. I'm so very sorry to hear that. Let's keep a positive focus that they get him back on chemo asap and you start shrinking those nasty buggers.

Hugs...
Julia

[Russian27]

Lots of prayers going your way Elissa

[juliej]

Oh, Elissa, you're so right about it being unfair, but don't beat yourself up about the vacation. No one - not even our oncs, radiologists, surgeons, etc. - quite know the "right" or "wrong" thing to do with cancer treatment. So much of it is up to things that no one can know.

So, tomorrow we go back in and meet with the onc and make a new plan and get him back on chemo.

Concentrate on the fight, girl! I'll be sending you tons of prayers, light, and love.

Julie

[Kathleen808]

Oh Elissa,
My hearts just hurts for you right now. I am sorry that the cancer is so aggressive right now. Praying that the chemo will beat the hell out of it. Please do not berate yourself or anyone for that lovely vacation. We really don't ever know what the cancer will do but we do know that time with family is very, very precious. I send my love and prayers to you and John and your kids.

Aloha,
Kathleen

[dianne052506]

Elissa,

Prayers for you and your husband. I can't believe that the one week off chemo made that kind of difference. Your family needed that vacation. You'll use the strength you got from that to continue the fight ahead.
Wishing the very best for you both.
Dianne

[blakeswife]

Elissa,

I am so very sorry to read this! That IS awfully fast after only 1 week!

Here's some food for thought - maybe that particular chemo just wasn't working? You could have possibly gone this same route even if there wasn't a vacation. I agree with Dianne, you needed the vacation & will use the strength to fight the battle.

Again, I'm really sorry....

Kathy

[Mona]

Elissa,

Positive energy and lot of prayers going your way.

Mona

[Terry]

I'm so sorry Elissa, this isn't right. Please try and not beat yourself up about taking a vacation. Honestly, it most likely wasn't responding to the chemo and would have grown regardless. I didn't miss any infusions with ironetican and had growth anyway, it just happens.

I'm so sorry for your husband and you and your family. I know the sick feeling your having right now. Take it a minute, hour, day at a time.

We're here for you.
Terry

[xharryx]

prayers coming your way that they come up with a good plan for him and less stress for you. believe in god

[LeeT]

Oh Elissa, I can feel your pain and sense of anguish. My tumors seem to be of the aggressive nature too and together with my Onc we are trying to miss an appointment. When I did miss one I was in bed and on drugs for a good week with excrutiating liver pain. But then when I did have chemo the pain persisted..this is how they figured that FOLFIRI had run its course. I am glad that they discovered this sooner than later- no use continuing a treatment that is not working anymore.
Please don't regret a holiday...I would gladly miss a chemo for a week away even if it sent me to bed for the next week. I am sure your onc will come up with Plan B and will get the cancer under control.
Virtual hugs and thoughts to you and your hubby

[Seriously, WTF?]

You know me with PUKESVILLE!!! OMG!! WTF!!! I am at a loss for words...honestly it just plain sucks. The best thing you did was go on that vacation. Timing wise I don't think it was the missed chemo. The doctor told you to go and enjoy yourself..and I hope you did with many memories. 2mro is a new day , as baffled as the doctors may be, their goal will be to try to help John fight this. I just said a prayer for you and your family, and I am sending you so many hugs and prayers from NJ. hang in there pal! xoxo

[Jayna]

Elissa,
My heart aches for you and John. I am so sorry that the onc did not give you good news. Take the time to let it sink in- then get ready to plan a new course. You and John had a wonderful vacation that gave you a chance to step out of your everyday lives and enjoy yourselves. I am sure you made some great memories.
Nothing you did or did not do could have made this any different. The thing to concentrate on now is 'how and what is the next plan to help John'. Please know I will be keeping you in my prayers and am sending many many positive thoughts your way.
As you already know - we are here for you at any time and any moment.
Jayna

[elissa]

Thank you, thank you so much all of you for the love and support. I truly feel it and I really needed it. This is why this group is so incredibly important to me, and right now I feel like I could not live without it. I am trying to mentally regroup for tomorrow so that we can get back to kicking some cancer a**. I think hubby might even be doing a better job than I am....he's with my older son at basketball practice tonight. He is the coach.
A few of you had mentioned that the chemo probably was not working, but the strange thing is that it absolutely was. He actually had his most recent CT scan just a week before we left for vacation and it showed significant shrinkage in everything. I can't imagine that his cancer is so aggressive that it would grow in a week, but it did.
Ok, on to bigger and better things!
THanks again.
XOXO,
Elissa