PRAY FOR MY MOM

[dukeisis]

My Mom is 74 and has been doing chemo since last Febuary for 4th stage colon cancer. She drives two hours to UCLA to Dr. Isakoff where he transfuses her with CPT11, herbitux, and takes xeyloda orally. She used to take avastin, oxiplatin along with the xeyloda, but after improving greatly after just 3 months her cancer spread even more and they changed her treatment. I don't know her prognosis or if she will ever feel good again. We don't get many answers from her dr.. He's supposed to be really good, but he's a man of few words. I'm at a loss for what to do. She needs encourgement. I had a colonoscopy just recently at age 50 and had a precancerious polyop was removed. She tells me her dr. thinks I need to be checked every year, because of our family history, my Mom's condition, and my polyop. I wish my husband hadn't told her the truth of my results. I didn't want to worry her. What are her odds of ever getting back to normal or even feeling good. She's always been so active and so healthy. I just want her to be well so bad. PLEASE PRAY FOR HER. I'm doing RCIA classes right know to help me cope, but how do I help her? She's so down. Sometimes I think she's giving up. Thank, Kimie

[Mali]

I will pray for your Mum. My Mum is being beaten down by her cancer. She has just turned 70. I feel so sorry when I read your words, and can imagine how strong a woman your mother has always been. My Mum too, has always had more energy than all of us, and strength of spirit. It is tragic to see them be so worn down by this awful disease.

Colon Club is helping me a lot, to think of the positives and to hold on to the love, the love that will usually be there between a daughter and her mother, whatever happens to them.

How do I deal with a dying mother? I rub her back, I make her cups of tea, I let her talk and listen, I sit with her. But all this is quite rare as I have such a hectic life. Thank goodness, we live under the same roof, because even if we are short on quality time, we are still in the vicinity of each other.

I will pray for your Mum, just as I pray for mine. I send you love and hope.

Mali.

[Magnolia]

You are all in my prayers.

[dukeisis]

Thanks so much for the reply and the prayers. It's just good to talk to someone that understands. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I want to call her doctor, but I'm afraid my Mom will get upset if she finds out and I don't want upset her in any way. Plus I don't know if he'll tell me anything either. How long has your Mom been ill? I will pray for you both. Thanks again for responding, Kimie

[Mali]

Kimie

I have to make this brief, so please forgive me, but I am stressed to the hilt with all the studying I have to do.

Mum was diagnosed with cancer of the breast 11 years ago, then colon cancer about 4 years ago now, then liver metastases about 18 months ago. She now has cancerous nodules all over.

I think you must do whatever you feel necessary. Call your Mum's doc, even though they may say it's confidential information. Can you not talk to your Mum about her disease in any detail? Do you have a Dad or sibling that you can discuss this with? Could you not go and have a confidential meeting yourself with her consultant. Since Mum has been so ill, I have researched all over the world, and at times, she has been inspired by the material, and at others, she does not care anymore, she shows no interest. I'm sorry to hear that you are concerned that contacting your Mum's doctor may distress her, but you need to feel, as her daughter perhaps, that you are doing everything you can, even if this just means feeling better informed.

God bless your Mum and you.

With love, Mali.

[janette]

so sorry to hear about your mom. My mom just had her colon, and part rectum taken out. I am also very stressed out, and cant feel normal anymore. My mom is my best friend, so it is taking a toll on me. They want her to do chemo, and it scares me, because she has a bad immune system. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers. Janette

[Lifes2short]

I'm so sorry for what you are all going through. I know how hard this is to get through personally. The chemo is so draining. I'm 42, strong and handling it well. I can't imagine what it would be like for an older person. I can understand how hard it is to watch a loved one suffer.

Mali - Kimie cannot get any information about her mom from the doctor unless her mom has signed a form stating explicitely that Kimie can have access to her medical info. The privacy laws in the US are very strict these days - even to the point of often doing more harm than good.

My advice is to sit down and ask your mom what she really wants. Is she doing chemo because she thinks you want her to. Or is she doing it for herself? Chemo may help slow the progression of the disease, but it will not cure stage IV colorectal cancer. There is a point in which enough is enough for all of us. It is a very personal decision. Sometimes people go on fighting and suffering because they think that is what their loved ones want. This is a tough time for every one. My thoughts and prayers are with you.