roadrunner wrote:That said, are you being naive? If I understand your situation right (and you have DLMs), and from my study of the literature, my answer would be “no.”
Thank you - I posted my question just before i went to meditate and do a distance reiki healing session. The meditation i did encouraged me to put out into the universe what I wanted, and when i considered what that was, one of the answers was, "I want to be able to trust my own instinct again."
And then I read your response, and literally laughed out loud at how on the nose your answer was - not JUST encouraging "hey girl, you can do it," but data-based, pragmatic analysis to support my desired belief.
My husband and I chatted, and he pointed out that the medical community has been wrong before:
1) They thought i would survive "one or two years" - they were wrong, and I was right
2) They felt good post-resection, and made a decision to not do mop-up chemo as a result; i felt in my gut like cancer was not done yet - they were wrong, and i was right
3) Now, they feel bad (ok fine realistic) and i feel good - why would i not trust my own instinct which has been righter than the medical community twice now already?
Rock_Robster wrote:Hi Gina,
But I know I’m a much happier person if I have hope, and preferably hope
that is backed up by data! I like my onc’s approach - “it’s good news until it isn’t. And there’s no reason to prematurely believe that it won’t be”.
Yes, me too - which is why I was so angry that it felt like my onc crushed my hope. As I was texting a cancer buddy (who also happens to be a therapist), she said something like, I understand what's behind the anger. Fear? I asked immediately, and knew it was true. I felt as angry as I was, because her reaction made me feel scared. Somehow knowing that made me feel better - I can better control my fear than my fate.
I quite like your onc's approach and may need to adopt that as a mantra.
henny-crc wrote:And even if things go bad, and mets return, you can probably still do the second surgery, right? So i dont really see a thing to be sad about.
That's true, and it is what made us feel OK about requesting the chemo break originally. Thanks for reminding myself this. Right now, they don't want to operate, both because the mets are not conveniently located, and because there is "nothing there."
stu wrote:Ps I would slip back in and ring that bell .
Stu, your mom's story is one I fall back on again and again, in part because i think it could be healthier / more productive for me to believe that there is still cancer in my system, and i need to support my immune system so that it can keep the disease in check. That's ultimately what i feel confident about. I read the book Law of Attraction, which talks about looking for "proof" in the world that what you want to happen can happen; and as i read the pages and thought about it, i was struck by what's become another mantra: You Are Your Own Best Proof.
My body has responded to my call again and again. I am proof that i can perform better than anyone expects.
I need to return in 3 weeks to get my pump flushed. If my favorite nurse is there, i will ring that bell.