I truly believe there is more to this story than what we are getting. Ever hear that old saying "there are 2 sides to every story"! For someone who wants help, when I asked several specific questions, I got vague repeat answers as a response. You can't really help someone who want to be that way. Their opening thread did a lot of complaining about their current QOL issues, & to some extend, the medical professionals; butt when you try to get to the bottom of what is going on, this person does NOT want to talk about it.
Just my humble opinion,
P.S. Edited to add, this person has made it clear in other threads s/he would commit suicide vs getting a colostomy bag. When I asked why, what is so bad about a colostomy bag, no response. I thought my QOL issues were bad, thus my bag today. This person has me beat on poorer QOL issues. I don't regret my bag, gave me my life back & I was able to be a normal mom to my 2 kids & I got to see them grow up. Best decision I ever made. I am very open about my bag & most friends/people tell me if I had not told them, they never would have know I have a colostomy bag.
I'm sure there is another side to the story. I guess we all come to terms with our diagnosis in different ways and at a different pace with different life circumstances. Perhaps he/she simply needs some more time to go through the motions.
When I was first diagnosed with the possibilities of a temp bag, LARs and perhaps even a permanent bag, I went into a downward depression spiral. It was the darkest moments of my life and mind you, this was still in the process of me being a potential WW when I should be somewhat "happier" than most so to speak.
I visited this board countless times and came across posts by parents being grateful for the surgery and the bag. Some of them even gave up the WW option and opted for surgery anyway as it was far more important to make sure that damn tumour is removed entirely so that they get a better chance at watching their kids grow up than risking it all for a WW recurrence. The bag was mostly insignificant for them. Unfortunately, it didn't resonate with me at all because I have no children. Being on the WW list thus became my obsession.
I can appreciate how the love for one's own children may have helped parents conquer even the greatest fear and uncertainties and that's really awesome and heartwarming. I'm married but at that time it felt like even having a spouse was not enough of a reason for me to want to live on if I were to have a bag or suffer from LARs. I was fortunate enough to have access to a good counsellor and she made things a tiny bit better (only after confirmation of me going on WW).
If I have to go through the idea of LAR and bag situation all over again, I'm sure I won't be taking it well. Perhaps as someone without kids, nothing will ever reassure me that the bag is okay unitl I actually have the bag ? But I hope the day never comes and I know I will not be okay if it did.