Strange question for the group

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Burntoutzen
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:29 am

Strange question for the group

Postby Burntoutzen » Fri Aug 28, 2020 12:11 pm

Hello everyone,
It's been quite the strange year, not even counting the pandemic. I was diagnosed in January of this year, have gone through a couple surgeries (they got it and the pathology reports came back negative!!), 11 rounds of chemo (1 more left!!), and finally feel like I can see the finish line. My wife has been right by my side since the very beginning, holding my hand and supporting me through the last 8 months, I really don't know where I would be without her love and support. So, my question is, what sort of "thank you" gifts have you or someone you loved received or given, even though I know that NOTHING could express the love that I have for that woman and her strength that she has shown during this crazy time.
Thanks for any ideas!

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juliej
Posts: 3114
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:59 pm

Re: Strange question for the group

Postby juliej » Fri Aug 28, 2020 3:56 pm

Burntoutzen wrote:Hello everyone,
It's been quite the strange year, not even counting the pandemic. I was diagnosed in January of this year, have gone through a couple surgeries (they got it and the pathology reports came back negative!!), 11 rounds of chemo (1 more left!!), and finally feel like I can see the finish line. My wife has been right by my side since the very beginning, holding my hand and supporting me through the last 8 months, I really don't know where I would be without her love and support. So, my question is, what sort of "thank you" gifts have you or someone you loved received or given, even though I know that NOTHING could express the love that I have for that woman and her strength that she has shown during this crazy time.
Thanks for any ideas!

First of all, congratulations on getting close to the finish line! Keep your eye on the prize! :D

Second, never forget the love and support your wife has given you, no matter how many years go by. Whatever shit life hands you, as long as you two are still close, you can get through anything. Say “thank you” and say it often. When you're finished with chemo, you can say it in the form of flowers, dinner dates, baking her favorite cookies, a trip to Turks and Caicos (after the pandemic is under control, of course), a gift card to her favorite store, etc. As I'm sure she would tell you, the biggest gift you can give her is just being alive and present so you two can enjoy the rest of your life together. Live fully and embrace each day!

Juliej
Stage IVb, liver/lung mets 8/4/2010
Xelox+Avastin 8/18/10 to 10/21/2011
LAR, liver resec, HAI pump 11/2011
Adjuvant Irinotecan + FUDR
Double lung surgery + ileo reversal 2/2012
Adjuvant FUDR + Xeloda
VATS rt. lung 12/2012 - benign granuloma!
VATS left lung 11/2013
NED 11/22/13 to 12/18/2019, CEA<1

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beach sunrise
Posts: 250
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:14 pm

Re: Strange question for the group

Postby beach sunrise » Fri Aug 28, 2020 9:43 pm

You asked so here goes! I am a picture person and outdoorsy type so I would say if you all are into that then maybe hire a photographer for pictures and take her on a wonderful picnic with a view.
8/19 RC CEA 86 T3N0M0
Neoadj 5FU/rad 6 wk
Surg 1/20 APR - margins T4bN1a IIIC G2 MSI- 1/20 LN+ LVI+ PNI-
pre cea 24/post 5.9
FOLFOX
8 rds 6-10 CEA 11.4 4 more no oxa
7/20 CEA 11.1, 8.8
8/20 CEA 7.8
9/20 CEA 8.8, 9, 8.6
10/20 CEA 8.1
MHL1+
PMS2+
MSH2+
MSH6+
POLD1
Chem-sens test NCI "Test failed, neo adj CR worked. Not enough ca cells to test"

Siti
Posts: 177
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:58 am

Re: Strange question for the group

Postby Siti » Fri Aug 28, 2020 11:58 pm

Not a strange question at all, it’s very sweet :) I agree with JulieJ, the best gift to her is being alive and to grow old together, just celebrating every moment you have when the opportunity allows.

Personally as a caregiver, it’s the small things that count, not just one big gift. Just the fact that my husband consistently express how much this all means to him, the fact that he also takes care of me on my bad days, and small little surprises like making breakfast or going out of his way to do something he wouldn’t normally do shows how much he loves me in return.

If you’d like to get her a specific gift, perhaps an experience would be a nice one, a memory to cherish? I know the pandemic might be around for quite some time so going out / travelling would be difficult. So maybe something like a nice picnic at a secluded/unique location? Perhaps organise with an event company to make it extra special — Some inspiration here: https://instagram.com/bellaevents.nl

All the best and enjoy your time together!
Wife of DH (54) DX on 5/7/19
Sigmoid | Adenocarcinoma | Grade: G3 | LNs: 30/31
Wild Type for KRAS, NRAS and BRAF
19/7/19 PET-CT Scan: Distant lymph nodes (para-aorta, neck & hip), est. size 0.5-1.5cm.
22/7/19 Surgery: Laparoscopic Colon Resection
26/8/19 Chemo: CAPEOX + Avastin x 7
6/11/19 CT Scan after 3rd cycle, all nodes have shrunk! Yay!! 20/12/19 Last round of Ox (NED)
1/2020 Maintenance: Cap + Avastin
4/2020 Maintenance: switch to Teysuno (S-1) + Avastin due to bad HFS side effects.

Carboxo
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2019 5:10 pm

Re: Strange question for the group

Postby Carboxo » Sat Aug 29, 2020 3:05 am

As the sister of a cancer warrior, the best gift you can give now is just time. Thanks you are nice. But I will agree with the others... an experience, time together, laughs, memories. Those are the best and of yes .... pictures together.
DS: caregiver
48, female
DX: RC, Adenocarcinoma
G2: Moderately differentiated
pT1N1bM0 Stage IIIA
Positive lymph’s:, 2/15
Baseline CEA value 2.5
Tumor invades submucosa
Perineural invasion (PNI) present
Surgical margins: clear
MSS,KRAS/BRAF status: WT
LAR robotic, colectomy, with Ileostomy 9/4/19
Radiation therapy (if any): Chemo/rad scheduled next
Chemotherapy:XELODA,CAPEOX, started 10/28/19

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horizon
Posts: 1548
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:10 pm

Re: Strange question for the group

Postby horizon » Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:41 am

juliej wrote:
Burntoutzen wrote:Hello everyone,
It's been quite the strange year, not even counting the pandemic. I was diagnosed in January of this year, have gone through a couple surgeries (they got it and the pathology reports came back negative!!), 11 rounds of chemo (1 more left!!), and finally feel like I can see the finish line. My wife has been right by my side since the very beginning, holding my hand and supporting me through the last 8 months, I really don't know where I would be without her love and support. So, my question is, what sort of "thank you" gifts have you or someone you loved received or given, even though I know that NOTHING could express the love that I have for that woman and her strength that she has shown during this crazy time.
Thanks for any ideas!

First of all, congratulations on getting close to the finish line! Keep your eye on the prize! :D

Second, never forget the love and support your wife has given you, no matter how many years go by. Whatever shit life hands you, as long as you two are still close, you can get through anything. Say “thank you” and say it often. When you're finished with chemo, you can say it in the form of flowers, dinner dates, baking her favorite cookies, a trip to Turks and Caicos (after the pandemic is under control, of course), a gift card to her favorite store, etc. As I'm sure she would tell you, the biggest gift you can give her is just being alive and present so you two can enjoy the rest of your life together. Live fully and embrace each day!

Juliej


This is better than anything I could have written.
I'm just a dude who still can't believe he had a resection and went through chemo (currently 8 years NED). Is this real life?

hawkowl
Posts: 130
Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2014 5:29 am
Location: MN/FL

Re: Strange question for the group

Postby hawkowl » Mon Oct 05, 2020 3:43 am

I bought my wife a big red Yukon Denali lol. I’m sure she would have been fine with nothing but I wanted to totally knock her socks off with a gift I knew she would love
Dx 12/2014 T3N2MX (distant LPLN) low rectal
12/2014-4/2015: FOLFOX (8 cycles)
4/2015-6/2015: 28 cycles of chemoradiation with xeloda, SBRT
8/2015: Robotic APR with iliac node dissection; path showed ypT0,ypN0 (complete pathological response).
11/2015 scans clear, CEA 2.1
11/2015 parastomal hernia repair
3/2016 CEA 1.7, scans stable...
6/2020 5 years of normal CEA and stable scans
Now dealing with pyoderma gangrenosum.
Totally disabled due to oxaliplatin induced neuropathy and dysautonomia

Siti
Posts: 177
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:58 am

Re: Strange question for the group

Postby Siti » Thu Oct 08, 2020 3:11 pm

Oh wow! Now that’s a massive dream gift!
Wife of DH (54) DX on 5/7/19
Sigmoid | Adenocarcinoma | Grade: G3 | LNs: 30/31
Wild Type for KRAS, NRAS and BRAF
19/7/19 PET-CT Scan: Distant lymph nodes (para-aorta, neck & hip), est. size 0.5-1.5cm.
22/7/19 Surgery: Laparoscopic Colon Resection
26/8/19 Chemo: CAPEOX + Avastin x 7
6/11/19 CT Scan after 3rd cycle, all nodes have shrunk! Yay!! 20/12/19 Last round of Ox (NED)
1/2020 Maintenance: Cap + Avastin
4/2020 Maintenance: switch to Teysuno (S-1) + Avastin due to bad HFS side effects.


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