I need emotional help

[Trying]

Since getting news from my dr about never surgery ( I'm getting another opinioln) etc. and growth I am having Massive Panic Attaxks that last hours to where my mom has to look after my boy. I'm on meds for anxiety and depression. I meditate daily. I've gone to councellers and psychiatrists but they make me feel worse. I'm in the darkest blackest hole and cant climb out. Im pulling my mom down too. I see it in her face. I have turned into someone I'm scared to be. And I cant even say oh well it's just anxiety because
I have a reason to be terrified. Please comfort me with words of wisdom or prayer because I'm breaking.

[CRguy]

Please check out this topic If you want prayer stop in here!
as we have always had some very strong prayer warriors on board !

We will all be here to support you in what you are DOING
Yes you are Trying ... BUTT it seems to me that you are in fact DOING :
- getting second opinion
- addressing anxiety and depression with meds and talking to people
- meditation

This always reminds me of an old movie quote from Star Wars
" Do or do not ... there is no try" - Master Yoda
so while your name here may be trying
in fact you ARE DOING !

Many of us have been to counsellors / psyhchologists etc. and my experience is that they are not one size fits all
DO keep looking for another one ... there can be someone who does connect with you
DO keep talking with us here ... we do understand what it can be like ... you are not alone
DO keep connected with your support base / your mom
DO ask for help and support ... too many of us shut ourselves off
DO your meditations with intention ... I don't know if you use focused visualizations or just breathing relaxation types ???
I have done both and each has its own rewards

Do keep on... keeping on
It may sound trite... BUTT sometimes it really is just one step at a time
one foot ahead of the other and a marathon, not a sprint.

" A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step " - Lao Tzu

DO keep taking those single steps
Let us walk those thousand miles

In Harmony with you on the Journey
CRguy

[Leeloo]

Hi Trying
I’m not in the states so I’m sending you hugs across the miles.
Anxiety and depression are big black clouds that make it hard to find any joy, or see any warm white light.

This site used to talk about swinging chickens. I had to google to them to see what people were talking about. No big words of wisdom, just the distraction of watching happy chickens swinging! Weird and oh so wonderful for a moment in the nighttime when the real world got to much.

So no words of wisdom, just wishing you moments, and minutes of distraction and joy in small things.

Leeloo

[claudine]

Trying, first - it's OK and normal and understandable to be depressed and have anxiety and panic attacks in your situation! Try not to add blame to this. I understand that it is hard for you to feel like you're dragging your mother down - my husband feels the same thing towards me. I don't know where you are, but here there are group meetings/therapy/support for those who are helping a loved one in their fight against cancer, so maybe that's something your mother could look into.
Second - like CR Guy said, you are being very proactive about this, and about treatment, so pat yourself on the back! Have you looked into medical marijuana? It may not help you, and you may not be interested (for personal reasons), but it does help some people with anxiety, panic attacks, etc.
Sending many thoughts your way XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Trying]

Thank you guys

[Butt]

I am stage 4 , PSTD with no family support in this country. .....

[Trying]

That's hard. Msg me if you ever want to talk.

[Lee]

I am stage 4 , PSTD with no family support in this country. .....

Butt, KNOW that you are NEVER alone here. Please know that you can vent here. If there is anything we can do, please let us know.

(((Trying))) you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lee

[Trying]

Thank you so much Lee. You are always so kind.

Nicole

[Detox]

I've seen patients here who went back on treatment the second time and had just as good if not a better response after taking a break, so I'm confident this will be you too.

Also hoping you can find a surgeon who will be more aggressive regarding your liver surgery.

[Lee]

Thank you so much Lee. You are always so kind.

Nicole

Hi Nicole,

I (we) do have your back here. There is a community here that has/is walking in your shoes. We do get it here.

Lee

[michelle c]

I hope that you get a second opinion very soon. Being told that our cancer has come back or that it’s growing must be devastating. A friend of mine is living through this but hers is renal cancer that has metastasised to her lungs. She is so courageous and living her life to the full - I am in awe of her as she remains so positive. I’m not sure that I could be like that. I think that it’s best to have some structure and things to do during the day to keep yourself occupied and distracted from those dark thoughts that torment and terrify you. Maybe look for another counsellor if the one you have is not helping. We are always here for you and vent away here anytime. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers. Try and hang in there xx

[SheriG]

Hello! I hope you get a different opinion. Depression and Anxiety can be reflected not only in our well-being, but also in our family. I understand how difficult it is to deal with it, but everything will be fine. Try to get distracted. Good luck!

[Trying]

Thank you all!