Why Cancer Patients Push Loved Ones Away

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radnyc
Posts: 439
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:32 pm

Why Cancer Patients Push Loved Ones Away

Postby radnyc » Thu Nov 21, 2019 2:10 pm

I personally preferred to be left alone, people buzzing around me brought me down. Please let the person going through the disease deal with it the way they feel best.

https://www.roswellpark.org/cancertalk/ ... -ones-away
DX Jan '10, at 47
Feb - colon resection - 2/17 nodes
April - liver mets - Stage 4
3 months Folfox chemotherapy
August '10 liver resection and HAI pump
7 months chemo FUDR HAI and Folfiri systemic
NED since August 2010
Last treatment April '11
HAI Pump removed Dec '15

Gravelyguy
Posts: 358
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:03 pm

Re: Why Cancer Patients Push Loved Ones Away

Postby Gravelyguy » Thu Nov 21, 2019 2:40 pm

Interesting read. I know I felt guilty during treatment as I was used to being the helper. I think my wife and I are still getting through some of this 1 1/2 years after the last treatment.

Dave
6/17 dx mRC t3n1m1 very low rectal tumor 2 liver Mets 1.3 cm and .9 cm

6/17 begin 4 rounds Folfox w/Vectibix
9/17 short course radiation
10/17 rectal and liver resection LAR with coloanal anastomosis (no rectum left)
11/17-3/18 8 rounds Folfox
6/18 still NED!! Takedown
8/28/18 still NED! CEA .8 new low for me
10/18/18 colonoscopy clear
12/12/18 CEA .9 still NED!
6/11/19 CEA 1.0
12/19/19 CEA 1.0 still NED!
6/17/20 CEA 1.1 still NED!
12/15/20 CEA 1.1still NED!

Claudine
Posts: 490
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 2:41 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Why Cancer Patients Push Loved Ones Away

Postby Claudine » Thu Nov 21, 2019 2:47 pm

It's something that my mother in law has a really hard time dealing with (my husband is one who prefers to be left alone). She doesn't live nearby but is texting him daily, with lots of support messages and loving emojis which drive him crazy (I mean, he's 53...). I've totally accepted his wanting to be left alone; I drop him off at chemo, pick him up when it's over. We don't talk about his cancer much (if at all), per his choice. Which is why this forum is very important, as it provides me with an outlet...
Wife of Dx 04/18 (51 yo). MSS, KRAS G12A
No primary (involuted?)
Lytic tumor L4 vertebrae, EBRT 04/18, SBRT 02/19
Resect small intestine 05/18 (no cancer - Crohn's)
Failed adjuvant Xelox
Folfiri + Avastin 03/19 to 01/20
6.7 cm left adrenal mass 03/19, successful resection 02/20
CEA since 03/19: high 58, low 3.2, now 75.5
Scan 03/19: Multiple small lung nodules, now gone
PET 04/20 uptake by L4
L3-L4-L5 fusion surgery and partial corpectomy 05/20
Scan 03/21: stable


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