I would recommend the following website that gives a fairly clear explanation of the staging, drugs, etc: http://www.fightcolorectalcancer.org/pa ... /index.htm
This is a good place to start, and there are lots of other places that give good info as well - do not hesitate to venture out on to the internet and look up the various drugs, and/or to ask questions here.
On a different note, I know how difficult and frustrating it can be to see someone you love diagnosed with this! It SUCKS! You are both going through cancer, but in very different ways - he is the patient but you are the caregiver. You will have very different needs - he may not want to know anything right now, you may want to know everything, he may make decisions in a different way than you would want him to, he may make decisions that you think are bad. Just keep in the front of your mind that these are all his decisions - they affect you, but ultimately he has to be the one to make them.
When my cousin Amanda was diagnosed, she said the same thing that your boyfriend is saying - she didn't want to know the numbers because if there was even one tiny percent chance that just one person was going to beat it, it was going to be her! I desperately wanted to believe that, but I wanted to know absolutely everthing there was to know. Lots of other people in my family wanted to know too - but we needed to know for us, not for her. So I learned everything I could and talked about it to other people, but not to Amanda.
That worked for us - because the thing is that none of us know how we would react if we were diagnosed, and you and I aren't the ones who had to hear those words. Eventually, Amanda started wanting to know more, but it took a while. Just remember that everyone goes at their own pace with this - and especially try to remember that when he is making a decision that you wouldn't make and you want to yell and scream at him! The best thing you can do is to research now - it will put your mind more at ease, and you will have the information and be able to help him if and when he wants to know more.
Definitely check out the topic "My Sister Newly Diagnosed" started by Dee. There is a lot of good info about how to help someone you love who has just been diagnosed. You are in a very hard place to be, but there are people who understand and can offer good suggestions.
Of course I am biased, but I do think that The Colon Club is a great place to be - but there are other places too. One thing I don't think anyone mentioned on the Sister thread is that the Colon Cancer Alliance Buddy Program can be a great place to get one-on-one support:
CCA pairs patients and caregivers up with others who have been through similar circumstances. It isn't "the thing" for everyone, but you might want to check it out: http://www.ccalliance.org/patient/buddy/buddy.html
There is also a great website called www.acor.org
that has a specific caregivers list. Go to www.acor.org
, click on "Mailing Lists" and then click on the "C" list and scroll down to "CAREGIVER". If you are new to listservs, it can be a little bit confusing to sign up and a bit overwhelming to get all of the email until you get used to it. Again, this may not be your thing, but I love ACOR and it is definitely worth looking into. There is also a COLON listserv that is great for asking questions. If you have any problems getting signed up, just let me know and I can help.
I know you are so shocked and scared - but you are in a good place where we truly understand.
Hannah K. Vogler
Co-Founder, The Colon Club
cousin of Amanda Sherwood Roberts
dx 1/99 Stage III at age 24
died January 1, 2002 at age 27