Yeah, but I've gone from Kim Kardashian to Kelly Ripa. Scary.
I'm 5'7" and went from 125 before any of this hit to about 95 lbs at my lowest when I had typhlitis after 5 rounds of chemo (I was maybe 115 at diagnosis). My butt was literally concave once I went under 100. It was not good! I bought myself underpants with padding in them, LOL.
Good to be conscious about weight and continuing to take in calories, but it does not sound like you need to panic quite yet!
I focus on gaining weight back when I have a chemo break, and at last weigh-in two weeks post surgery, I was at 112.
My mantra has been, "When I can, I will." And I remind myself of this when I get frustrated.
I try not to beat myself up when I don't have an appetite for anything - but I also try to make sure I am taking advantage of each and every "maybe I could eat a little something" moment. And eating whatever appeals in the moment. Last night it was two frozen White Castle slider cheeseburgers. The night before, I was in bed at 11 pm and announced I could go for some Kraft mac and cheese - we had leftovers in the fridge, and I was eating them a few minutes later. Post surgery, I have been drinking chocolate milk each day. No judgment on what works for you!
Marijuana mints with a high THC content have been very useful for me when my appetite is just not there. They don't make me high or give me the munchies, but at least it makes the prospect of eating seem tolerable and I can get a few bites of something down.
All this to say, I recognize just how emotionally charged eating is, and I've spent a bunch of time with my therapist learning how to be gentle with myself about it. Honestly, the more gentle I am, the more I feel equipped to manage it like any other side effect, because I'm able to approach it rationally and focus on what I can do versus what I cannot. Emotionally, I find that I cannot maintain a good arc if I am not eating at least semi-regularly. So it's been important for me to figure out how to create and take advantage of windows to do so.