Advice - Sick and sleep round the clock by Day 4 of chemorad

[SilverWedding]

Just sad and looking for hope.

My husband is on Day 4 of chemorad. He is sleeping all day now. He is nauseous what little time awake.

Maybe I should be glad for him - perhaps he will sleep away the passing of time of not feeling well. But it’s hard to see. Is this normal or should I myself call radiologist or oncologist? I don’t even know which to call.

if It’s this bad already, I don’t prefer to be a pessimist, but how on earth could he do this six weeks and take on everything else set before him with surgeries and more chemo?

Also, he was laid off before we knew he had this dreadful disease, so he is not exerting himself whatsoever.

[ginabeewell]

I don't have experience with this treatment specifically, but I will say that in my rounds 2-4 of chemo, I was exhausted on days 4-5 and spent a LOT of time sleeping things off.

That didn't last forever for me. I now have one afternoon (disconnect day) where I peter out a little earlier in the afternoon, and sometimes I nap on the weekend, but it's nowhere close to where it was. I know the effects of chemo are cumulative, but in my case I feel like once the cancer was controlled by my chemo, my body had an easier time managing. Hopefully what he is experiencing won't last forever.

[Green Tea]

I didn't do neodjuvant chemo/radiation, but I do have a few comments: (1) Sleeping is OK, but don't let your husband sleep through any meals or miss any pill-taking sessions. He has to have two good, balanced meals a day, and two pill-taking sessions a day. Check with your nutritionist there if you have any questions about the best kinds of meals/snacks to prepare. (2) Keep him well hydrated. Make sure he is drinking enough water every day. (3) Don't let him stay in bed all day. Have him sit up in a chair every now and then, or go for a short walk outside or around the block. (4) Pay good attention to cleanliness and hygiene, especially for the feet and hands (clean toenails and fingernails), and to a clean mouth after any vomiting sessions.

It seems to me that it would help if you could encourage your husband to take a more active part in his recovery. Does he keep his own side-effects log? Does he prepare his own questions for the doctor? Does he keep his own food tolerance log? Does he decide what he wants for meals? When I was under treatment, I did most of the household chores myself, including grocery shopping, pharmacy shopping and Internet purchases. I learned how to cook and did my own cooking, and I washed the dishes and washed my own clothes and sheets. I regularly cleaned the toilet and mopped the bathroom floor myself. These simple tasks gave me something to do to keep myself occupied while I was under treatment. My wife drove me to and from my appointments and took notes during my meetings with the doctors, but I did most of the the other things except mow the lawn and take out the garbage.

[boxhill]

Please don't expect him to "exert himself." Chemo and radiation hit everyone differently. Not only that, but he has the double whammy of having just lost his job. That is a big load to carry. Eventually he will probably regroup and be ready to do more normal stuff. Right now he apparently just needs to rest.

Obviously his illness and the layoff have hit you hard. Now imagine carrying that burden plus physical weakness and nausea and fatigue. This is not a failure to exert himself, this is a need for healing.

I would suggest that you ask for help from friends and family who have offered it to do at least some of the stuff he would normally do,or to do things that you normally pay for, since saving money would probably put you in a better place, financially and mentally. Mowing the grass, for example? Any maintenance projects that really need to get done?

When he is awake, ply him with good-tasting fluids and encourage him to take the anti nausea meds he's been given to get ahead of the feeling. Perhaps ask if he'd like to go for a short walk? Sit up and play a board game or cards or watch something? Also, get out, do something with your friends, etc.

He will get through the treatment. That's what we do.