Currently in the ER...woo.

[Pyro70]

My mother in law just sent me a text that said:

One day you will tell your story of how you've overcome what you're going through now, and it will become part of someone else's survival guide.

Still passing blood, they best not delay my chemo on Monday or I'm going to be pissed. However, I'm realistic and until they locate the source, I'm not going anywhere.

I wouldn’t worry so much about delaying chemo. It’s not always clear that more is more.

Strange they didn’t find the source. If it’s red blood it should be quite low in the GI track. Maybe it’s in the ileum. Are they planning a capsule endoscopy? I just had an ulcer in my duodenum. That blood came out entirely black. They could do an upper GI endoscopy, but if the blood is red, that doesn’t seem worthwhile. Also when I had my ulcer the doctors told me not too worry too much. It doesn’t take a lot of blood for the stool to look like a horror show. You can’t tell from the stool.

As for your HGB, they also expect it to drop a point or so just being in the hospital, drawing blood, etc.

[AmyG]

The capsule was suggested, but I guess it isn't done here? Idk why there's still blood if they found nothing this morning. I'm supposed to call my nurse the next time there's blood in the potty so they have an idea of what I'm losing.

How exciting.

[AmyG]

So I'm an emotional wreck this morning.

I was looking last night for something inspirational or comforting for the Miss Molly thread and unintentionally stumbled across a poem from a little boy's point of view. He kept asking his mommy not to go, to stay and play, that he was mommy's boy....totally gutted me. I was a sobbing mess. It just hit so close to home. Still feeling the effects this morning. My husband is going to bring the kids up in just a little bit so that will help.

I can't leave these kids motherless. I refuse. I don't want the youngest 3 to only remember mommy as being sick. F that.

In other news, still bleeding all night. This morning there was talk of maybe a scope from the top to check upper GI. Hemoglobin is still slowly dropping but not terrible. I think it's 9.2 now.

So that's my news. Going to order breakfast, but it seems like eating irritates things but I'm not going to pass it up. Maybe that will help get to the root of this problem if I bleed worse after a meal?

[BritinCanada]

Soft hugs Amy.

My kids are 2,4,6 and 8. It makes my heart hurt so bad that this is their life now. I've been sick half my two year olds life and she just takes the chemo bottles and shots and hospital visits as normal. And it should never have to be that way.

But as someone who also saw their mother die from this disease I have to say that some of my favourite memories of her are when she was sick. We got to do things together and spend time together that wouldn't have happened otherwise. I know now that that must have been very difficult for her but for me it was my special momma time. And that's what they want, just to be with you.

Take deep breaths, keep fighting. I wish you so much strength.

[AmyG]

Thanks. I really appreciate that and I hate that you know exactly where I'm coming from.

Good news is that the kids are on the way, will be here in less than an hour! Saw a doctor, he seems to think that since my colon was so great, it must be coming from my anus. Ergo, my ass is broke yall. No clue if they are going to investigate further or send my broke ass home.

This has been a long freaking stay. Checked my last CBC and ANC is down to 1.6 if I drive all the way out here on Monday morning just to be told, sorry no chemo for you....I might get irritated. Not for the lack of treatment but for the wasted 4 hour drive!!

Cancer can go eat a bag of dicks.

[AmyG]

Guess who is going home??

They never found the source of my bleed, I'm still bleeding but my oncologist said to still come for chemo on Monday, she's just withholding Avastin.

So, overall I'd rate this adventure a 2/10, do not reccomend.

[Green Tea]

Would you be able to check with your doctor to see if they would consider an upper endoscopy? As noted below, an endoscopy is the gold standard for identifying and treating ulcers in the upper GI tract.

If the bleeding is severe, then endoscopy is the most common surgical procedure used to stop the bleeding.

A doctor uses an endoscope to cauterize or seal the bleeding vessel using a heated electrical probe or he may close it off by injecting solutions into the bleeding vessel.

Doctors can also easily see the signs of all the different types of bleeding when using an endoscope. Blood clots, active spurting, slow oozing of blood from arteries, as well as swollen blood vessels that are not bleeding yet, can all be detected with the use of an endoscope.

Endoscopy is currently the gold standard for treating bleeding ulcers.

References: https://www.ulcer-cure.com/index.php/bleeding-ulcer-treatments
https://www.ulcer-cure.com/index.php/bleeding-ulcer-symptoms

[AmyG]

They didn't seem to think I needed one.

I think they wanted to blame it on hemorrhoids. Even though they weren't acting up during the colonoscopy. So whatever. I'm not bleeding out, we'll see how it goes from here!

[Pyro]

Ergo, my ass is broke yall. No clue if they are going to investigate further or send my broke ass home.


Cancer can go eat a bag of dicks.

This sums up my entire cancer experience

[Punky44]

Happy you were able to bust out!

[DarknessEmbraced]

I'm so sorry you're going through this!*hugs* How frustrating that they didn't find the source of your bleeding!*hugs* I hope your chemo goes well and that you feel better soon!*hugs*

[boxhill]

AmyG, I'm totally with you: we can either try to have a great attitude--most of the time, anyway--or we can live in misery. As the neurosurgeon said when I told him that it looked like things were lining up to see which one can kill me first, "Well, at least you've still got your sense of humor!" And where would we be without it?

It sounds like Avastin is probably your culprit. I'm kind of amazed that they can't tell where it's coming from though, but I guess like most things it's harder than it looks on tv.