O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend - UPDATED

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weisssoccermom
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O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend - UPDATED

Postby weisssoccermom » Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:25 am

I know this is O/T but so many of us on here are furbaby lovers I knew that you would understand. I've known for 6 months that my furbaby has TCC and her time is drawing near. This sounds cold and calculated but we are taking her in on Monday to allow her to leave this world in PEACE and relatively PAIN FREE rather than wait for a painful and disturbing end. A HUGE thank you to CrGuy for talking with me and helping me see that our decision was/is the right one.

Roxy was diagnosed last October with TCC (Transitional Cell Carcinoma). We'd been noticing some spots on her diaper (wore it at night). Long story short....what we thought was a problem with her anal glands turned out to be TCC that started in her vaginal canal. The biopsy done in October confirmed it so we weren't just guessing. Early November comes, the vet goes in and can't find the tumor....neither can three other vets who are in there with him. Regardless, he does an ultrasound which shows that nothing is visible anywhere else....good news. He puts Roxy on Piroxicam (NSAID that has been shown to be helpful in dogs with this type of cancer). The spotting would be light somedays....more moderate on others. Late January, we take her in for a 'checkup' and another ultrasound is done. Now he sees 'diffuse' spread in her bladder. Ok, so we are preparing for her end. She's not a young baby by any means....she's 15 so she has other problems as well. Heart murmur and high blood pressure for which she takes meds and she's pretty much deaf but she's still our baby. Things keep on trucking until the end of March when we notice that she's now soaking her nighttime diaper and that the bleeding isn't 'ebbing and flowing'....it's becoming more constant now. At 15, Roxy sleeps a lot as well so we had to wonder what type of life she was really having. We actually thought about putting her down a few weeks ago but decided against it. However, in that ensuing two weeks, Roxy has now developed the habit of occasionally 'leaking' in her daytime diaper...not enough but still noticeable.

This past week was Spring Break for me so I was able to spend the time with her and it was wonderful. We took her in on Thursday for another ultrasound to see where things stood. Although the Piroxicam may be SLOWING the progress (or it may be doing nothing????), the vaginal tumor is now much larger, the bladder hasn't changed much but the cancer is invading her urethra. THAT is the part that we had been worried about.....when that happens, it is only a matter of time before the urethra will become blocked and she won't be able to urinate....NOT anything that I want her to experience. She's also having trouble having a BM....who knows what is causing that. Her once voracious appetite is no longer there and she's become picky about what she eats (this last weekend she's getting steak and roast beef, treats and her beloved Greenies).

It's hard to let her go but we know that it is the ONLY humane thing to do. We have no idea how many weeks/days she has left. It's really difficult on a female dog to try and watch her pee and see if there is still a stream. I must look like an idiot trying to peer at her like that! She doesn't appear to be blocked up....not acting like that....but I do NOT want her to get to that point!

Like her 'mommy', Roxy never really got over losing our beloved Lesley. Our Laylay was always the leader and Roxy the follower. Without Lesley, Roxy has been lost these last 3.5 years and never really been happy. I have a firm belief that I will see my four furbabies again...whether it be at the Rainbow Bridge or whether they are already in Heaven.....I really don't know. It's heartbreaking to say goodbye but I know that it's not forever. I also know that I just can't do this again! People forget that when you get that cute puppy or that friendly older dog, this time will inevitably come and saying goodbye is way too hard for me. Coming home every night to an empty house is going to be QUIET and devastating. Realizing that I have only myself to get ready in the mornings will be another new experience for me. For the past 29 years, we have always had one of our four (at times all four of them together) in our house. It's going to be strange seeing our family room without dog beds/crates and our kitchen without dog dishes in them.

I realize that this post is VERY long but it's been cathartic for me to type this and know that my feelings and tears are OK! I love Roxy and will forever miss her and my hope, my wish is that she finds Lesley, KC and Precious and that the four of them can romp in the grass, enjoy the warmth of the 'sun' and be companions for each other until their mommy/daddy eventually join them.

I LOVE YOU ROXY.....ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL!
Mommy
Dx 6/22/2006 IIA rectal cancer
6 wks rad/Xeloda -finished 9/06
1st attempt transanal excision 11/06
11/17/06 XELOX 1 cycle
5 months Xeloda only Dec '06 - April '07
10+ blood clots, 1 DVT 1/07
transanal excision 4/20/07 path-NO CANCER CELLS!
NED now and forever!
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boxhill
Posts: 236
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Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby boxhill » Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:38 am

I understand completely, and I'm sorry for your loss.
F, 64 at DX CRC Stage IV
3/17/18 blockage, r hemicolectomy
11 of 25 nodes,5 of 5 mesentery nodes
5mm liver met removed
pT3 pN2b pM1
BRAF wild, KRAS G12D
dMMR, MSI-H
5/4/18 FOLFOX
Neulasta 6/28
7/9/18 CT NED, 2mm indeterminate lung nodule
11/20/18 CT NED, Lung nodule calcified granuloma. Enlarged spleen.
12/20/18 Liver MRI 5mm liver met and 2 lymph nodes in porta hepatis, CT review shows progression on FOLFOX
12/31/18 Keytruda
6/5/19 Triphasic CT LNs shrunk to normal, Liver node stable

Pyro70
Posts: 99
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 4:25 pm

Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby Pyro70 » Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:56 am

Animals with cancer get treated with dignity. Humans not so much...
Dx Jan 2017 stage IVB w/ PC age 35
FOLFOX
SEP 17 HIPEC 1, anastamosis leak
XELODA
MAR 18 HIPEC 2
JUN 18, ileo reversal and 2nd anastamosis leak

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edinaman
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Location: Minnesota

Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby edinaman » Sat Apr 13, 2019 12:12 pm

Jaynee, I am sorry to hear this. We went through this last September, and it is heartbreaking. On the logical level, you know you are doing the right thing, but on the emotional level it's awful. I remember during his last month or two, if we went away and came home, we'd hold our breath until we saw him come to greet us. It still is hard sometimes to walk into the quiet house. We miss him, but we know he is no longer in pain. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Jeff
Went in for surgery for a cyst on my bladder, and they found colon cancer growing on the outside of the colon. Got to have two surgeries at the same time! Stage 3, one node involved.

DarknessEmbraced
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Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Sat Apr 13, 2019 12:17 pm

I'm so very sorry about Roxy!*hugs* Pets are part of the family. You are doing the humane thing.
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17
NED 12/21/18

KimT
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Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby KimT » Sat Apr 13, 2019 1:18 pm

I wept for days over the loss of our guinea pig a few weeks ago. She was 7 which in guinea pig years is about 129. We lost a car in 2015 at the age of 15. Our pets are very important to us. Even a little rodent. They are family members. I couldn’t live in a home without animals though even if it so hard to let them go. So sorry for your roxy. Soak up all you can this weekend with her.
2/10 dx colon cancer
right hemicolectomy 3/19/10
Stage 2a 0/43 nodes
Lynch syndrome
3/14/10 colon resection/ removal of metal clips
Nov 11 dx ovarian cancer

MissMolly
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Location: Portland, Ore

Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby MissMolly » Sat Apr 13, 2019 1:42 pm

Jay Anne:
I am totally in synch with your post and narrative. I am a HUGE animal lover and have found the human-canine bond to be a sustaining and comforting presence in living with compromised health.

In saying good-bye to Roxy . . . There is no way to prepare for that which is unpreparable.

But know that you are doing the right thing in limiting Roxy’s suffering and pain. You are placing her needs above your own, which is the ultimate act of love of a pet parent.

I lost my beloved tea-cup Maltese, Molly, about 16 months ago. Molly was 16 years old. This little dog was my soul-mate. She was the one constant in my upside down world. My heart still aches for her. I arranged for a private cremation service for Molly and wear a small paw-shaped locket that contains a sprinkle of her ashes. I am wearing Molly’s locket as I type this post.

Know that I can strongly identify with your loving relationship with Roxy and the pain in saying goodbye. Goodbye . . . for now.

Sending you a warm hug,
Karen
Dear friend to Bella Piazza, former Colon Club member (NWGirl).
I have a permanent ileostomy and offer advice on living with an ostomy - in loving remembrance of Bella
I am on Palliative Care for broad endocrine failure + Addison's disease + osteonecrosis of both hips/jaw + immunosuppression. I live a simple life due to frail health.

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CRguy
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Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby CRguy » Sat Apr 13, 2019 2:33 pm

Try to enjoy these final moments with her Jaynee
and know you are doing the right thing.

Love Peace and Harmony
CRguy
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
12 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

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betsydoglover
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Facebook Username: Betsy Lindh Williams
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Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby betsydoglover » Sat Apr 13, 2019 2:50 pm

So very sorry.

I have been through this a few years ago, and it is so hard. But, you are doing the right thing to not let her get to the point of extreme suffering. My dog, Casey, went downhill very suddenly - Saturday he was found with fluid around his lungs and was given Lasix which made him much better - Monday he had acupuncture for arthritis and a regular cardio appt (degenerative valve disease, but not advanced). Neither vet thought he was anywhere close to death. Tuesday night he stopped eating, and Thur we woke up to find him crying in pain and vomiting. It was awful, but I was so grateful when my vet got to the house around noon to put him down - it was torture watching him suffer even though very sad letting him go.

Had I or any vet known that he was so close to crashing, we probably would have put him to peace sooner. But no one had a clue, because he was his usual self until he wasn't. I hope that knowing you are saving her from unspeakable pain can be a help.

Take care and so sorry for your loss,
Betsy
diag. Stage IV, 5/05, liver met
lap sigmoid colectomy, 6/05
6 cycles Xeloda/oxaliplatin/Avastin (NED after 2)
11/08 9x13mm right lower lobe lung nodule; removed via VATS 4/09
NED
6 cycles Xeloda + Avastin
Avastin only 10/09-5/11
Still NED 06/18

Lee
Posts: 5925
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby Lee » Sat Apr 13, 2019 4:48 pm

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now and what you are about to go through. I feel your pain. We lost 2 furbabies last year, I suspect another one this year.

Enjoy the time you have left with her, and yes know that you will be with her again in the next life.

Hugs to you and your family,

Lere
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

AppleTree
Posts: 267
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Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby AppleTree » Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:59 pm

You have written a sweet tribute. Enjoy you end time together and know that you are doing the right thing so she can go forward in peace and love instaid of pain and anguish.
Sending Hugs.
Diag Feb 5, 2016 Age 45
3 cm tumor 5 cm from verge
Radiation + Xeloda pills - 3000mg 5x week
3/14 - 4/16 - 25 sessions
Shrank just over 50% L nodes 0/13
Remove rectum with temp Ileo 6/17
Reversal 7/20 due to infection
Acute hepatitis August. Chemo cancelled
June to September 2016 - 58 days in hospital

2017
6/16, MRI shadow in lung
Pet - 6.6mm Met in Upper R lobe
7/30 VAT surgery Mass General/Boston
8/24 port
8/30 - 4/28 Folfox. 12 rounds
2018
June CT shows new lung Mets.
July/Oct PETs...CLEAR!

weisssoccermom
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Location: Pacific NW

Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby weisssoccermom » Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:46 pm

I'm not sure why I allow myself to revisit this over and over....but I need to. This is our last night in the house with our little Roxy. Tomorrow she will be able to join her sisters wherever our furbabies go and then not be in pain, have no more cancer and can once again enjoy the life that she so deserves. It was hard letting her eat her last dinner (not too shabby though.....petite sirloin, peas, carrots and roast beef.....CRguy....no salt, no butter....just nice steak!). She had a voracious appetite which isn't surprising considering her dinner fare! :) We even gave her an extra serving of 'kool aid' water (a little dab of chicken baby food mixed with warm water) tonight! She deserves it.

Our youngest (28 on this Friday) came over and just cried and cried. He kept prolonging leaving even though I told him that he could spend the night or even just come over tomorrow on his way to work. He knew that when he said GOODBYE....it was really goodbye! I held him and let him sob and cry. He's still my little boy even though he is a grown man now.

Roxy - you helped me get through the tough times after Lesley died. You and your sister were next to me when I had cancer....you never left my side during those times when all I wanted to do was sleep on the living room couch. The two of you battled your own cancers and I hope that I was able to give you the same love and attention that you gave me. Lesley battled and beat salivary gland cancer....two surgeries. Not long after Lesley passed, Roxy had a liver resection and beat that cancer. This latest round, though, wasn't going to back down and her little body doesn't need to be subjected to the pain that will come if we do nothing. I'm NOT going to let cancer do that to her. I love you Roxy. You lifted me up from some tough times.....your little body....your cute black nose.....those adorable eyes and your wiggly little tush were too cute to allow me to stay depressed for long. This house will be lonely without you or your sisters and Daddy and I will look in the backyard for you....waiting to tell you not to chase the baby birdies or try to catch the squirrels :) Thank you....from all the depths of my heart for loving all of us with unconditional love. I hope that we made you feel loved, safe and secure and gave you a life that was everything you could have ever wanted or needed. I am so glad we found you....that you came into our lives and made an impact on all of us.....including your other three fur sisters. The last 14 years with you have been AWESOME! I will miss your nose pushing open the bathroom door....just to check where Mommy is. Walking out of the bathroom and not seeing you plopped down right in front of the door will be a sight I will have to get used to. I love you little one.....sleep tonight and join her sisters tomorrow for more of the 'good old times' you had together.

I miss you already. Mommy loves you. Tomorrow will be hard. Please keep me and my family in your thoughts. Thanks
Dx 6/22/2006 IIA rectal cancer
6 wks rad/Xeloda -finished 9/06
1st attempt transanal excision 11/06
11/17/06 XELOX 1 cycle
5 months Xeloda only Dec '06 - April '07
10+ blood clots, 1 DVT 1/07
transanal excision 4/20/07 path-NO CANCER CELLS!
NED now and forever!
Perform random acts of kindness

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CRguy
Posts: 9886
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Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby CRguy » Mon Apr 15, 2019 12:20 pm

Hugs and Prayers Jaynee

CRguy
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
12 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

MissMolly
Posts: 645
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 4:33 pm
Location: Portland, Ore

Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby MissMolly » Mon Apr 15, 2019 12:24 pm

Jaynne:
Thinking of you this morning . . .

Sending you comfort and prayer.
Karen
Dear friend to Bella Piazza, former Colon Club member (NWGirl).
I have a permanent ileostomy and offer advice on living with an ostomy - in loving remembrance of Bella
I am on Palliative Care for broad endocrine failure + Addison's disease + osteonecrosis of both hips/jaw + immunosuppression. I live a simple life due to frail health.

Lee
Posts: 5925
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: O/T - my furbaby has cancer....hard last weekend

Postby Lee » Mon Apr 15, 2019 12:50 pm

Hugs to you and your family during this most difficult day.

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!


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