Goodbye

Please feel free to read, share your thoughts, your stories and connect with others!
dliu
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:16 am

Goodbye

Postby dliu » Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:36 am

Hello,

My mum started home care on Feb 20th to ease her pain. She was sharp and brilliant, joking around until she started morphine. She died peacefully on March 4th, despite my brother's mother in law making a scene, trying to barge into the room several times while just the family was collected in silence with my mum, and then having a rageful go at my brother, just seconds after my mum passed away. That was weird and sadly will stay with me forever.

My mum was the smartest person I've ever known. When my dad passed away she took on the last bits of business he had with such grace she made it seem easy, and in the meantime she kept raising us and being proud of us. She was an excellent writer, editor of our stuff, and a film lover. She had film jokes up to the very end, when some of her speech got jumbled. She was the greatest love of my life.

I will continue advocating for awareness about CRC and I wish you all a peaceful journey. I will check in every now and then to see how you all are doing, and wish NED for each and every one of you.
Caring for my mum, 65
Sigmoid resection, multiple liver mets
09/05/2018 Dx Stage IV, 6/11 LN - KRAS G12V
28/05/2018 First round of FOLFOX + Avastin

CEA down from 6000+ (05/2018) to 843 (08/2018) to 377 (11/2018)
9/10 rounds with Oxaliplatin
8/10 rounds with Bevacizumab

stu
Posts: 1613
Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:46 pm

Re: Goodbye

Postby stu » Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:25 am

Hi ,

Goodbyes are hard but I am glad you have had such a wonderful mum .
I hope you and your family are surrounded by love at this time .

Not sure what your brother in law was trying to achieve !!
Anyway you are who matters most at this moment and I am thinking of you .

Take special care ,

Stu
supporter to my mum who lives a great life despite a difficult diagnosis
stage4 2009 significant spread to liver
2010 colon /liver resection
chemo following recurrence
73% of liver removed
enjoying life treatment free
2016 lung resection
Oct 2017 nice clear scan . Two lung nodules disappeared
Oct 2018. Another clear scan .

AussieAssCancer
Posts: 258
Joined: Sat May 21, 2016 10:16 am

Re: Goodbye

Postby AussieAssCancer » Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:54 am

I’m so very sorry to hear. Mum’s are very special, and it sounds like yours was special and then some.

I hope you can look back on the happy memories.

Sending hugs,

Geoff
Dx Oct '15 w/ Stage 3c RC/ CEA 8
Nov '15 - Jan '16: 3x FOLFOX and 5wks Chemoradiation w/ Xeloda
March '16: ULAR w/ temp ileostomy
Complete pathological response incl 0/12 nodes
May - Aug '16: 9x FOLFOX (dropped Oxaliplatin for final Rd due to neuropathy)
Clear CT scans in April ‘16 (NED), Dec ‘16, Aug ‘17, Feb ‘18, March ‘19, Feb ‘20
Feb '17: Ileostomy reversed
CEA Post Surgery: ALWAYS 2

Blog: kickingrectalcancerintheassblog
https://kickingrectalcancerintheassblog.wordpress.com/

DarknessEmbraced
Posts: 3816
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:54 pm
Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: Goodbye

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Tue Mar 19, 2019 10:19 am

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother and that your brother's mother in law was so disrespectful!*hugs*
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17
NED 12/21/18
Clear colonoscopy 09/23/19
Clear 5 year scans 11/21/19- Considered cured! :)

User avatar
GrouseMan
Posts: 888
Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:30 pm
Location: SE Michigan USA

Re: Goodbye

Postby GrouseMan » Tue Mar 19, 2019 10:21 am

Sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. Sounds like she passed with a great deal of loving grace. Trying to make people smile up to the end. Have to agree that it seems very strange that your bothers mother in law would make such a scene. WT? Try to focus on your moms film jokes, that obviously gave her a lot of pleasure! Perhaps she instilled in you the joy to be had at a comedy at the cinema! I am a movie buff myself and love nothing more that than to watch them on the big screen. My wife and I would do a date night at the movie theatre about once a month or so. So go often and think of your mom when you do so and try to imagine what sort of joke or tale she might make of a new movie!

GrouseMan
DW 53 dx Jun 2013
CT mets Liver Spleen lung. IVb CEA~110
Jul 2013 Sig Resct
8/13 FolFox,Avastin 12Tx mild sfx, Ongoing 5-FU Avastin every 3 wks.
CEA: good marker
7/7/14 CT Can't see the spleen Mets.
8/16/15 CEA Up, CT new abdominal mets. Iri, 5-FU, Avastin every 2 wks.
1/16 Iri, Erbitux and likely Avastin (Trial) CEA going >.
1/17 CEA up again dropped from Trial, Mets growth 4-6 mm in abdomen
5/2/17 Failed second trial, Hospitalized 15 days 5/11. Home Hospice 5/26, at peace 6/4/2017

dliu
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:16 am

Re: Goodbye

Postby dliu » Tue Mar 19, 2019 11:28 am

GrouseMan wrote:Sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. Sounds like she passed with a great deal of loving grace. Trying to make people smile up to the end. Have to agree that it seems very strange that your bothers mother in law would make such a scene. WT? Try to focus on your moms film jokes, that obviously gave her a lot of pleasure! Perhaps she instilled in you the joy to be had at a comedy at the cinema! I am a movie buff myself and love nothing more that than to watch them on the big screen. My wife and I would do a date night at the movie theatre about once a month or so. So go often and think of your mom when you do so and try to imagine what sort of joke or tale she might make of a new movie!

GrouseMan



You are right. I stopped going in the past couple of months, though I work as a filmmaker. She and my dad instilled the love of film in me. Sadly my mum didn't live to see my first feature film made and that makes me deeply sad. In Feb 2018 she travelled to come to the premiere of a film I made. It was just before her dx - she was already not feeling great, but she was so happy to be there.
Caring for my mum, 65
Sigmoid resection, multiple liver mets
09/05/2018 Dx Stage IV, 6/11 LN - KRAS G12V
28/05/2018 First round of FOLFOX + Avastin

CEA down from 6000+ (05/2018) to 843 (08/2018) to 377 (11/2018)
9/10 rounds with Oxaliplatin
8/10 rounds with Bevacizumab

Punky44
Posts: 498
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2018 4:29 pm

Re: Goodbye

Postby Punky44 » Tue Mar 19, 2019 11:42 am

So sorry about the loss of your mom—she sounded like an amazing lady. You’ll be in my prayers.
Caregiver to my amazing mom (68 at dx)
10/1/18 DX with rectal cancer; CEA 17
T3N2M0
Total neoadjuvant therapy:
8 rounds Folfox 11/5/18 - 2/11/19
Short course radiation 3/14/19 - 3/20/19
Robotically assisted laparoscopic LAR 3/21/19
Pathology report says yT2N0M0 with 0/38 nodes
6/28/19 Reversal and port out
CEA 2.1; 1.9; 2.6; 2.8; 2.3; 2.4; 3.0; 3.4; 3.1; 3.4; 3.0; 3.1; 2.6
Latest update: 8/21/23 Clear CT with CEA 2.6!

Me: 34, first colonoscopy 11/16/18—normal! Come back in 5 years.

boxhill
Posts: 789
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:40 am

Re: Goodbye

Postby boxhill » Tue Mar 19, 2019 1:50 pm

My deepest condolences. I am glad that you have wonderful memories of this special woman.
F, 64 at DX CRC Stage IV
3/17/18 blockage, r hemi
11 of 25 LN,5 mesentery nodes
5mm liver met
pT3 pN2b pM1
BRAF wild, KRAS G12D
dMMR, MSI-H
5/18 FOLFOX
7/18 and 11/18 CT NED
12/18 MRI 5mm liver mass, 2 LNs in porta hepatis
12/31/18 Keytruda
6/19 Multiphasic CT LNs normal, Liver stable
6/28/19 Pause Key, predisone for joint pain
7/31/19 Restart Key
9/19 CT stable
Pain: all fails but Celebrex
12/23/19 CT stable
5/20 MRI stable/NED
6/20 Stop Key
All MRIs NED

Robz
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2019 2:42 am

Re: Goodbye

Postby Robz » Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:21 pm

My condolences. Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful woman.

hopie
Posts: 90
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2019 12:15 pm

Re: Goodbye

Postby hopie » Wed Mar 20, 2019 3:22 am

I'm so sorry. Your mom sounds like an amazing person. I wish you strength and patience.
Caregiver to my super-mom (62), diagnosed Dec 2018
Sigmoid colon, Stage IV
G3, Poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma (5,5 x 4 x 1 cm)
T4N2bM1
13 positive out of 23 lymph nodes, largest one 1,8 cm
4(?) mets in liver, located at Segment 3 & 7, largest one 2 cm
LVI & PNI present
Clear surgical margins
MSS, KRAS G13D mutant
Laparoscopic anterior resection, Jan 2019

First chemo 11 Feb 2019 (Folfox). 25/2/19 Folfox + Avastin.

BUD2016
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2016 3:25 pm

Re: Goodbye

Postby BUD2016 » Wed Mar 20, 2019 12:35 pm

I am very sorry to read about your mum's passing. I have read some time ago on this forum that mum's passing is the first sorrow one has to deal with alone. Because the mum is no longer here to comfort and support and for an unconditional love. I do not have much words of comfort. Just wanted to say that I do understand your pain and depth of loss and wish you to find peace of mind and comfort in memories. Best wishes.
09/2016: Mom dx/rectal cancer
10/2016: Open surgery. T3N0/Grade 2
11/2016: PET/CT scan shows 5 liver mets in both lobes
11/2016: FOLFOX + Avastin started on her 71st birthday
KRAS gen 2 G13D mutant, BRAF Negative, MSS
03/2017: Oxi stopped after 9th tx, 5FU cntd. CT scans w/ contrast every 2 months - small shrinkage/stable
05/2017: PET/CT progression, started FOLFIRI + AVASTIN
07/2017: MRIs/CT stable
09/2017: MRIs/CT - min progression
09/2017: FOLFIRI + CYRAMZA
11/2017: left us


Return to “Colon Talk - Colon cancer (colorectal cancer) support forum”



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 120 guests