Caregivers and Post-NED Life
Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:32 am
Whenever something seems to not be quite right or when we get close to a blood test/check-up I always get antsy and lurk on the board and online more in general. For the most part, I try to kick cancer out of my mind and just enjoy being with my husband and appreciating this time of NED peace. But as we have an Oncologist appointment today with blood test results hanging over our heads for a whole dang week I've been a bit more obsessive than normal. In another thread that discussed caregivers, I mentioned my own tangled feelings so I turned to Google to see what I could find on the subject. One article had a section where it felt like they were writing about me, and since others may deal with the same feelings I thought I would share:
https://www.curetoday.com/publications/ ... ancer-life
My husband's last blood panel had a string of interconnected not-so-great results that could just mean he isn't absorbing iron well or (according to Google, I know I know I was just looking up what the test results meant and this slapped me in the face) it could mean liver involvement. This unknown has overshadowed me since November and made happy events like DH transitioning to a better job filled with anxiety when there shouldn't be any. So now every time his gut makes noises too loudly or too frequently or if he has to run to the bathroom more than usual I keep asking how he's feeling and if anything is off. How is his stool? Is the color normal and is there any blood? Any cramps or pains anywhere? I feel like I've gone insane and if I'm not careful my husband will be driven to his wits end in the process. I don't think I realized how much of a security blanket doing blood tests every two to three weeks was. We were constantly checking on how he was doing and now that it's every three months if something looks a little off it seems like such a long long time to find out if it was just a weird blip or something to be concerned over. Now I just have to manage my anxiety until 3:30 today which will hopefully show the bad numbers were just a post-surgery blip and everything is still going the right direction.
One woman, for example, expressed anxiety about her husband, a cancer survivor, who was sleeping more than usual. She was worried that his fatigue was a sign that his cancer was spreading, but because the oncology team no longer saw him on a regular basis, she had no one to reassure her. Caregivers may feel uncertainty about the future or anticipate the loss of a loved one whether it’s a reality or not. Those feelings, which can arise in any stage of a serious illness, including survivorship, can be challenging for families to negotiate, Applebaum says.
https://www.curetoday.com/publications/ ... ancer-life
My husband's last blood panel had a string of interconnected not-so-great results that could just mean he isn't absorbing iron well or (according to Google, I know I know I was just looking up what the test results meant and this slapped me in the face) it could mean liver involvement. This unknown has overshadowed me since November and made happy events like DH transitioning to a better job filled with anxiety when there shouldn't be any. So now every time his gut makes noises too loudly or too frequently or if he has to run to the bathroom more than usual I keep asking how he's feeling and if anything is off. How is his stool? Is the color normal and is there any blood? Any cramps or pains anywhere? I feel like I've gone insane and if I'm not careful my husband will be driven to his wits end in the process. I don't think I realized how much of a security blanket doing blood tests every two to three weeks was. We were constantly checking on how he was doing and now that it's every three months if something looks a little off it seems like such a long long time to find out if it was just a weird blip or something to be concerned over. Now I just have to manage my anxiety until 3:30 today which will hopefully show the bad numbers were just a post-surgery blip and everything is still going the right direction.