Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

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Jolene
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:17 am

Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Jolene » Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:25 pm

Hello everyone,

Am new to the forum and so glad to have found this place ! So grateful to everyone who shared their experiences and resources on this forum ! I got diagnosed with rectal cancer 2 months ago and feeling really anxious about all that is going to be unfold - surgery, stoma bag, reversal complications, LARS etc... :cry:

I just completed the neoadjuvant chemoradiation course and now awaiting doctor's recommendation for next steps forward. It's either surgery or a WW option. Fingers crossed ! I feel like one of the lucky ones having a supportive healthcare team and easy access to medical facilities. I had very little side effects of my chemoradiation treatment phase, no pain experienced as yet and now simply awaiting for doctor's recommendation for next steps. My husband and my family have been nothing but supportive. In the grand scheme of things, I should really be counting my lucky stars right ?

On the down side of things, I have been experiencing some terrible and erratic mood swings for the past few weeks with some really dire thoughts and outlook of my future. There were times when I would lash out at my husband for no reason or break down in tears in the middle of a conversation. I can't quite concentrate while at work and feeling like a failure in every aspect of my life at the moment. My self-esteem has taken a hit and it feels like I'm just not doing anything right. On some days, I just want to hole up myself and not interested in talking to anyone.

My husband has been a rock and tries to be as supportive as he can be and I think it's unfair on him to have to shoulder all my emotional break down. After the lashing out, I often feel worse and guilty for doing that to him !

Seeing as it's only 2 months since my diagnosis, we still have a long way to fight this together. I foresee the erratic mood swings are going to put an additional strain onto the relationship and I want to be pro-active in seeking some solutions before it gets any worse.

Hence I'm looking to seek out a psychologist / therapist to help manage the situation and wonder if anyone has done the same ? How does one deal with the emotional side of things with the complications of rectal cancer ? How does one go about seeking a trusted psychologist ? I have never seek one out before. I don't know if I should speak to my colorectal doctor about this seeing as it's just all moods, feelings and emotions and the last thing I want is to be brushed away.

Just the thought of the stoma bag is enough to bring me to tears ! Oh..the indignity of it ! :cry: :cry: :cry: And what happens if complication sets in during surgery ? When the mop-up chemo sets in, how will I get to work and stay on top of the game ? Radiation to my pelvic area means my ovaries are basically toasted and while we never quite wanted kids, the idea of that choice taken away from me sucks and it's doing my head in. Early menopausal is also predicted and at a fairly young age of 40+ , I will be experiencing menopause 10 years ahead of peers my own age.

Any advise and thoughts would be greatly appreciated !
Dx @ 39 F on WW managmeent
Nov 18 - Dx of a mid-rectal tumour at T3N1M0 (2cm) 7cm from AV
Dec 18 - CRT, 28 sessions + Capecitabine at 3000mg daily
Jan - Mar - WW in place (12 weeks)
Mar'19 - MRI, PET, sig flex and biopsy ordered to determine being a WW candidate.
Apr - CCR, surgery on hold. 6 cycles of Xelox.
Aug - 6 cycles of Xelox completed
19 - Flex sig, biopsy, PET/MRI
2019 - 2023 - Every 6 mths - Full scope / Flex sig / biopsy, PET / MRI / CT every 6 months
Dec 23 - All clear 5 years on ! Thank god !

CAGirl
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2017 4:55 pm

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby CAGirl » Wed Jan 23, 2019 1:38 pm

Oh my word. Let yourself off the hook, Lady! Of course you are having erratic mood swings! (Come on in. The water's warm!)

I have to tell you, almost immediately upon diagnosis two years ago, I called the Women's Cancer Resource Center and got the name and number of a therapist who specializes in cancer and parenting. At the time, my daughters were 3 and 6, and I needed guidance on how we would get through things as sanely as possible. I had maybe gone one or two times in my 45 years to talk to a therapist, but I knew if ever I needed it, cancer diagnosis was the time. My husband and I saw her together most of the time; a few times, I went on my own. It wasn't cheap, but I believe it helped tremendously. We went until about a month after I stopped chemo, I think. The therapist was a 20-year cancer survivor who had dealt with it when her kids were 3 and 6, as well.

I think especially if you're trying to keep working, which adds another level of stress to your life, you need an outlet.

Another thing I did (purchased as a gift for me) was Sound Therapy (this is Berkeley, CA) with someone who had gongs and Tibetan sound bowls, etc. I think that totally helped relax me, although she was a bit kooky.

I also always tell people to check out When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. That always comforts me. (Honestly, Friends! I'm not getting a commission off her books...)

Good luck. Stay strong. Or DON'T. You're allowed to break down! XOXO
Dx 2/2017, age 45, 2 kids: 6 yrs & 3 yrs
History of Crohn's disease - dx in 1997; in remission, thus no colonoscopy in over 10 years
Anemia dx 11/16: GI doc assured me "the likelihood of colon cancer" was "very low".
Stage 3C - T3N2b
8/64 lymph nodes; clear margins surgery 3/17
12 cycles of Folfox 4/17-9/17
3-month CT scan midway through chemo, no changes
2-3-mo CT scan post chemo 11/17 slightly larger lung nod (incr. from 7mm to 8 or 9mm)
CT scan 3/18 - NED
clear CT scan 1/2019 NED

hiker
Posts: 139
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:15 am

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby hiker » Wed Jan 23, 2019 2:13 pm

Hey Jolene,

Mood swings/lashing out can be a sign of bigger mental health issues. Not saying that's the case for you. But I know a couple where the husband was very sick and the wife was the one with mood swings. Hers started prior to him getting sick, but seemed to escalate. It was wearing him down since he was not well to begin with. It got to the point where the relationship was about to end. They tried a therapist (together and her alone), but it didn't really help. The only thing that finally helped was for her to speak to her doctor and get the proper medication to level things out. Things seem to be better between them now - at least not so volatile.

I wish you well.

hiker
Colonoscopy 2/17, 5cm tumor descending
Diagnosed stage iv, liver mets 3/17
Colon resection 3/17
Told surgery not an option, get my affairs in order
Meet w/MSK team 5/01/17
Folfox(3rds) 5/17-6/17
Liver resection/implant HAI pump 7/17
HAI pump chemo(5rds) 8/17-2/18
Folfiri+Vectibix(11rds) 8/17-2/18
Spot on chest CT 10/17
Lung biopsy (that was fun) 11/17
Nocardia bacterial infection w/spread to brain (this is serious) 11/17
IV antibiotics 12/17-2/18
Oral antibiotics 3/18-12/18
Clear of cancer since surgery

User avatar
Maggie Nell
Posts: 1151
Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 1:57 am
Location: Central Highlands, Victoria, Oz

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Maggie Nell » Wed Jan 23, 2019 2:46 pm

Yup, the water's warm but no peeing in the pool, k? :D

When you've gone through such intense invasive trauma to your body and have received
a devastating diagnosis, you're entire world is flipped on its head! There is far more awareness
these days of post-operative ptsd and resources, such as psychoncology, that you can turn to.

Pema Chodron has been my go-to for practical wisdom. Prior to my surgery and diagnosis, I had
been a consultant in the management of anxiety, depression and stress and meditation teacher but
was not at all prepared for the grieving and the anger, especially when there is such a prominent
expectation to get over your treatment and go run a marathon.

You're in a different relationship to your body, you're in a process of adjusting to a new identity and
that ripples out through all your relationships and your focus will change as you re-prioritize the way
you want to live your life, work-leisure-family balance.

There's a new normal on the block, whatever you need to do is what you need to do.
DX April 2015, @ 54
35mm poorly diff. tumour, incidental finding following emergency R. hemicolectomy
for ileo-colic intussusception.
Lymph nodes: 0/22
T3 N0 MX
Stage II CRC, no adjuvant chemo required.

User avatar
LPL
Posts: 651
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2016 12:49 am
Location: Europe

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby LPL » Wed Jan 23, 2019 4:41 pm

CAGirl wrote:
I also always tell people to check out When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. That always comforts me. (Honestly, Friends! I'm not getting a commission off her books...)

CAGirl, Oh yes, there is something about that book, the words.. that is helping me! I’m not sure where I found the tip and ordered it - maybe it was you? In that case - Thank You !!!

Jolene, I wish you all the best and You posting/asking about these things... it feels like you are a strong person who wants to be pro-active. I think you will be fine :)
DH @ 65 DX 4/11/16 CC recto-sigmoid junction
Adenocarcenoma 35x15x9mm G3(biopsi) G1(surgical)
Mets 3 Liver resectable
T4aN1bM1a IVa 2/9 LN
MSS, KRAS-mut G13D
CEA & CA19-9: 5/18 2.5 78 8/17 1.4 48 2/14/17 1.8 29
4 Folfox 6/15-7/30 (b4 liver surgery) 8 after
CT: 8/8 no change 3/27/17 NED->Jan-19 mets to lung NED again Oct-19 :)
:!: Steroid induced hyperglycemia dx after 3chemo
Surgeries 2016: 3/18 Emergency colostomy
5/23 Primary+gallbl+stoma reversal+port 9/1 Liver mets
RFA 2019: Feb & Oct lung mets

MissMolly
Posts: 645
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 4:33 pm
Location: Portland, Ore

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby MissMolly » Wed Jan 23, 2019 5:24 pm

Jolene:
Be aware that the corticosteroids you receive as part of your chemotherapy infusions are likely a key component of your mood swings.

Dexamethasone is the corticosteroid more commonly partnered with chemotherapy infusions. Dexamethasone has a long-half life in the body and has a strong effect per unit concentration as compared to prednisone or cortisone.

Corticosteroids are a powerful hormone and have wide-ranging effects on the body. They are not a benign medication.

Corticosteroids are given as part of chemotherapy infusions to quell nausea and to provide an uplift to make the infusion more systemically tolerable. They are also know to cause irritability, anger/rage, and emotional volatility, and insomnia/sleep disruption. Other effects include higher circulating blood glucose levels and higher insulin secretion by the pancreas, often associated with weight gain and characteristic adipose tissue deposits; an uptick in hunger and appetite, especially cravings for carbohydrates and sweets; newfound energy, as if you could clean the entire house in under 2 hours.

Talk with your oncologist about your corticosteroid dosing and whether a dose reduction would be in your favor. There is no one-size-fits-all or mandated corticosteroid dosing.
Karen
Dear friend to Bella Piazza, former Colon Club member (NWGirl).
I have a permanent ileostomy and offer advice on living with an ostomy - in loving remembrance of Bella
I am on Palliative Care for broad endocrine failure + Addison's disease + osteonecrosis of both hips/jaw + immunosuppression. I live a simple life due to frail health.

User avatar
juliej
Posts: 3114
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:59 pm

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby juliej » Wed Jan 23, 2019 5:47 pm

MissMolly wrote:Be aware that the corticosteroids you receive as part of your chemotherapy infusions are likely a key component of your mood swings.

Dexamethasone is the corticosteroid more commonly partnered with chemotherapy infusions. Dexamethasone has a long-half life in the body and has a strong effect per unit concentration as compared to prednisone or cortisone.

Corticosteroids are a powerful hormone and have wide-ranging effects on the body. They are not a benign medication.

Corticosteroids are given as part of chemotherapy infusions to quell nausea and to provide an uplift to make the infusion more systemically tolerable. They are also know to cause irritability, anger/rage, and emotional volatility, and insomnia/sleep disruption. Other effects include higher circulating blood glucose levels and higher insulin secretion by the pancreas, often associated with weight gain and characteristic adipose tissue deposits; an uptick in hunger and appetite, especially cravings for carbohydrates and sweets; newfound energy, as if you could clean the entire house in under 2 hours.

Talk with your oncologist about your corticosteroid dosing and whether a dose reduction would be in your favor. There is no one-size-fits-all or mandated corticosteroid dosing.

Totally agree with Karen. I had to take Dex out of my pre-chemo regime because of the side-effects. The "new found energy" was exhausting me and everyone around me (although I had a really clean house! :D ) I was on an emotional roller coaster too.

Talk to your onc about this.

Juliej
Stage IVb, liver/lung mets 8/4/2010
Xelox+Avastin 8/18/10 to 10/21/2011
LAR, liver resec, HAI pump 11/2011
Adjuvant Irinotecan + FUDR
Double lung surgery + ileo reversal 2/2012
Adjuvant FUDR + Xeloda
VATS rt. lung 12/2012 - benign granuloma!
VATS left lung 11/2013
NED 11/22/13 to 12/18/2019, CEA<1

debb
Posts: 191
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:03 pm
Location: NJ

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby debb » Wed Jan 23, 2019 7:46 pm

Hi Jolene and welcome,
I could've written your post myself, ten years ago (yikes!) or yesterday (haha!). I wish I could give you a hug!

Before my cancer diagnosis, I had never seen a therapist. With all that you go through mentally and physically with a cancer diagnosis, I feel like it should almost be mandatory to have a therapist on your team. That is what I tell anyone who is newly diagnosed.

Definitely, tell your oncologist how you are feeling. He/she may recommend someone for you to talk to. Otherwise, you can look on your insurance plan for someone in your area.

My story is a lot like yours....besides the cancer, I have a good life with a lot os support, especially my husband. I"m a pretty strong woman and I thought I could just deal with everything on my own. When I found myself getting short with or angry at my husband for little or no reason, and it was happening more often, I knew I had to do something to stop my behavior because he didn't deserve to be treated like that. He was just an easy target for my anxiety. So I found a therapist. It helped so much to be able to talk my way out of that line of thinking. I only went for a few months but it helped so much. Talking to friends or family didn't work for me because I'm always too concerned about how that person is feeling.

But therapist sessions didn't eliminate my overwhelming anxiety. Let's face it, we have cancer and it sucks. And we try to put on a happy face and make everyone around us feel like we'll be ok. We don't want anyone to worry about us. And you are dealing with a job and I am dealing with 4 children. We go through surgeries and chemo and steroids and side effects and fear and early MENOPAUSE. So I talked to my oncologist again. He prescribed me Celexa. It was to help my menopause symptoms and anxiety. And, omg, it was the best thing ever. I am able to think and breathe.

I think, that at diagnosis, a doctor should say "I'm sorry to tell you you have cancer. Here is a prescription for "XYZ anxiety med" and please take as needed."

So my advise to you is start by talking to your oncologist. He may even prescribe you something immediately. And then pursue a therapist of some kind.
You need to take care of your mind AND body.
Good luck!!!
2008, Stage 3C, age 42, mom of 4
Folfox 9/08-2/09
Met to right ovary, both removed 7/10
HIPEC 8/10
VATS 7/12, right lung
10/14 Stivarga clinical trial
3/15-7/15 Folfiri & avastin
8/16 Folfiri & avastin
Break! 10 months of freedom
1/18 - 4/23 many Folfiri & Avastin
6/23 Clinical trial REGN7075. Progression
8/23 radiation to femurs and L4
9/23 rechallenged Folfox. Allergic reaction at 4th infusion
11/23 will start Bot/Bal

Jolene
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:17 am

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Jolene » Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:07 pm

CAGirl wrote:Oh my word. Let yourself off the hook, Lady! Of course you are having erratic mood swings! (Come on in. The water's warm!)

I have to tell you, almost immediately upon diagnosis two years ago, I called the Women's Cancer Resource Center and got the name and number of a therapist who specializes in cancer and parenting. At the time, my daughters were 3 and 6, and I needed guidance on how we would get through things as sanely as possible. I had maybe gone one or two times in my 45 years to talk to a therapist, but I knew if ever I needed it, cancer diagnosis was the time. My husband and I saw her together most of the time; a few times, I went on my own. It wasn't cheap, but I believe it helped tremendously. We went until about a month after I stopped chemo, I think. The therapist was a 20-year cancer survivor who had dealt with it when her kids were 3 and 6, as well.

I think especially if you're trying to keep working, which adds another level of stress to your life, you need an outlet.

Another thing I did (purchased as a gift for me) was Sound Therapy (this is Berkeley, CA) with someone who had gongs and Tibetan sound bowls, etc. I think that totally helped relax me, although she was a bit kooky.

I also always tell people to check out When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. That always comforts me. (Honestly, Friends! I'm not getting a commission off her books...)

Good luck. Stay strong. Or DON'T. You're allowed to break down! XOXO


Thank you for sharing your therapist experience CAgirl !! It's good to be reading and understanding someone else's emotional journey and how they have dealt with it systematically.

A number of your suggestions sounds great ! I never thought about heading towards the cancer resource center looking for a therapist and it makes sense to have someone who specializes in cancer management and counseling ? I have been hesitating to approach a random therapist due to the specificity of the cancer issue - it really needs to be someone who is experienced and knows what a cancer patient is going through. I feel silly at the same time because it really feels like a first world problem at the moment where there may be someone else not even getting any basic medical attention while I'm here whining like a kid about managing my adult emotions ! ( I know I know ! I shouldn't be beating up myself in this way - but i guess that's one of the things that I need to get myself sorted out at the same time)

I will be looking up Pema Chodron and the Sound therapy you mentioned too !!!

Whew - even responding to some of the posts is already making me feel better ! Thank you again !
Dx @ 39 F on WW managmeent
Nov 18 - Dx of a mid-rectal tumour at T3N1M0 (2cm) 7cm from AV
Dec 18 - CRT, 28 sessions + Capecitabine at 3000mg daily
Jan - Mar - WW in place (12 weeks)
Mar'19 - MRI, PET, sig flex and biopsy ordered to determine being a WW candidate.
Apr - CCR, surgery on hold. 6 cycles of Xelox.
Aug - 6 cycles of Xelox completed
19 - Flex sig, biopsy, PET/MRI
2019 - 2023 - Every 6 mths - Full scope / Flex sig / biopsy, PET / MRI / CT every 6 months
Dec 23 - All clear 5 years on ! Thank god !

Jolene
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:17 am

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Jolene » Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:13 pm

hiker wrote:Hey Jolene,

Mood swings/lashing out can be a sign of bigger mental health issues. Not saying that's the case for you. But I know a couple where the husband was very sick and the wife was the one with mood swings. Hers started prior to him getting sick, but seemed to escalate. It was wearing him down since he was not well to begin with. It got to the point where the relationship was about to end. They tried a therapist (together and her alone), but it didn't really help. The only thing that finally helped was for her to speak to her doctor and get the proper medication to level things out. Things seem to be better between them now - at least not so volatile.

I wish you well.

hiker


Thanks for the heads up hiker ! I'm not surprised that carers would have mood swings themselves giving the state of the patient is in ! I had tried putting myself in the shoes of my husband and I do not like it, hence pro-actively trying to seek for some solutions before the relationship becomes strained !

You post has encouraged me to seek out someone for help soon - be it mental or not !

My husband has been my rock from day 1 and I really do not want us to get to a point where the situation may break him down too. We are both aware that there might be issues that even he couldn't be in the position to help me resolve or get through. Hence he is supportive of me looking up a therapist and we have been talking about it.
Dx @ 39 F on WW managmeent
Nov 18 - Dx of a mid-rectal tumour at T3N1M0 (2cm) 7cm from AV
Dec 18 - CRT, 28 sessions + Capecitabine at 3000mg daily
Jan - Mar - WW in place (12 weeks)
Mar'19 - MRI, PET, sig flex and biopsy ordered to determine being a WW candidate.
Apr - CCR, surgery on hold. 6 cycles of Xelox.
Aug - 6 cycles of Xelox completed
19 - Flex sig, biopsy, PET/MRI
2019 - 2023 - Every 6 mths - Full scope / Flex sig / biopsy, PET / MRI / CT every 6 months
Dec 23 - All clear 5 years on ! Thank god !

Jolene
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:17 am

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Jolene » Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:20 pm

Maggie Nell wrote:Yup, the water's warm but no peeing in the pool, k? :D

When you've gone through such intense invasive trauma to your body and have received
a devastating diagnosis, you're entire world is flipped on its head! There is far more awareness
these days of post-operative ptsd and resources, such as psychoncology, that you can turn to.

Pema Chodron has been my go-to for practical wisdom. Prior to my surgery and diagnosis, I had
been a consultant in the management of anxiety, depression and stress and meditation teacher but
was not at all prepared for the grieving and the anger, especially when there is such a prominent
expectation to get over your treatment and go run a marathon.

You're in a different relationship to your body, you're in a process of adjusting to a new identity and
that ripples out through all your relationships and your focus will change as you re-prioritize the way
you want to live your life, work-leisure-family balance.

There's a new normal on the block, whatever you need to do is what you need to do.


Thanks Maggie ! Learning new words like psychoncology !! I also appreciate the bit about having a different relationship to my body and to my priorities in life ! Getting diagnosed has really changed my perspective about a number of things and I'm probably trying to get used to the re-prioritization and questioning whether I'm doing it right OR NOT !

New normal on the block ! - that helps and is quite inspirational ! Thank you.
Dx @ 39 F on WW managmeent
Nov 18 - Dx of a mid-rectal tumour at T3N1M0 (2cm) 7cm from AV
Dec 18 - CRT, 28 sessions + Capecitabine at 3000mg daily
Jan - Mar - WW in place (12 weeks)
Mar'19 - MRI, PET, sig flex and biopsy ordered to determine being a WW candidate.
Apr - CCR, surgery on hold. 6 cycles of Xelox.
Aug - 6 cycles of Xelox completed
19 - Flex sig, biopsy, PET/MRI
2019 - 2023 - Every 6 mths - Full scope / Flex sig / biopsy, PET / MRI / CT every 6 months
Dec 23 - All clear 5 years on ! Thank god !

Jolene
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:17 am

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Jolene » Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:23 pm

MissMolly wrote:Jolene:
Be aware that the corticosteroids you receive as part of your chemotherapy infusions are likely a key component of your mood swings.

Dexamethasone is the corticosteroid more commonly partnered with chemotherapy infusions. Dexamethasone has a long-half life in the body and has a strong effect per unit concentration as compared to prednisone or cortisone.

Corticosteroids are a powerful hormone and have wide-ranging effects on the body. They are not a benign medication.

Corticosteroids are given as part of chemotherapy infusions to quell nausea and to provide an uplift to make the infusion more systemically tolerable. They are also know to cause irritability, anger/rage, and emotional volatility, and insomnia/sleep disruption. Other effects include higher circulating blood glucose levels and higher insulin secretion by the pancreas, often associated with weight gain and characteristic adipose tissue deposits; an uptick in hunger and appetite, especially cravings for carbohydrates and sweets; newfound energy, as if you could clean the entire house in under 2 hours.

Talk with your oncologist about your corticosteroid dosing and whether a dose reduction would be in your favor. There is no one-size-fits-all or mandated corticosteroid dosing.
Karen


Thanks MissMolly and JulieJ - I have not heard about corticosteriods ! Have only been on Xeloda (Capecitabine) so far but will take note moving forward especially for the mop-up chemo in store ! Woah - the things i"m learning on here is amazing. Not even the docs are alerting me to much (as yet!)
Dx @ 39 F on WW managmeent
Nov 18 - Dx of a mid-rectal tumour at T3N1M0 (2cm) 7cm from AV
Dec 18 - CRT, 28 sessions + Capecitabine at 3000mg daily
Jan - Mar - WW in place (12 weeks)
Mar'19 - MRI, PET, sig flex and biopsy ordered to determine being a WW candidate.
Apr - CCR, surgery on hold. 6 cycles of Xelox.
Aug - 6 cycles of Xelox completed
19 - Flex sig, biopsy, PET/MRI
2019 - 2023 - Every 6 mths - Full scope / Flex sig / biopsy, PET / MRI / CT every 6 months
Dec 23 - All clear 5 years on ! Thank god !

Jolene
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:17 am

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Jolene » Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:46 pm

debb wrote:Hi Jolene and welcome,
I could've written your post myself, ten years ago (yikes!) or yesterday (haha!). I wish I could give you a hug!

Before my cancer diagnosis, I had never seen a therapist. With all that you go through mentally and physically with a cancer diagnosis, I feel like it should almost be mandatory to have a therapist on your team. That is what I tell anyone who is newly diagnosed.

Definitely, tell your oncologist how you are feeling. He/she may recommend someone for you to talk to. Otherwise, you can look on your insurance plan for someone in your area.

My story is a lot like yours....besides the cancer, I have a good life with a lot os support, especially my husband. I"m a pretty strong woman and I thought I could just deal with everything on my own. When I found myself getting short with or angry at my husband for little or no reason, and it was happening more often, I knew I had to do something to stop my behavior because he didn't deserve to be treated like that. He was just an easy target for my anxiety. So I found a therapist. It helped so much to be able to talk my way out of that line of thinking. I only went for a few months but it helped so much. Talking to friends or family didn't work for me because I'm always too concerned about how that person is feeling.

But therapist sessions didn't eliminate my overwhelming anxiety. Let's face it, we have cancer and it sucks. And we try to put on a happy face and make everyone around us feel like we'll be ok. We don't want anyone to worry about us. And you are dealing with a job and I am dealing with 4 children. We go through surgeries and chemo and steroids and side effects and fear and early MENOPAUSE. So I talked to my oncologist again. He prescribed me Celexa. It was to help my menopause symptoms and anxiety. And, omg, it was the best thing ever. I am able to think and breathe.

I think, that at diagnosis, a doctor should say "I'm sorry to tell you you have cancer. Here is a prescription for "XYZ anxiety med" and please take as needed."

So my advise to you is start by talking to your oncologist. He may even prescribe you something immediately. And then pursue a therapist of some kind.
You need to take care of your mind AND body.
Good luck!!!


Hi Debb

Thank you for the comforting words ! Your response really resonated. You are right, my husband has become an easy target for my anxiety. To put in bluntly, I have been treating him like my cancer punching bag and I'm highly aware of it hence the desperation to seek help. While he said he is more than "happy" to take the blows, I'm still rational enough to know that it isn't the way out on a long term basis ! We talked about it and he is supportive of me looking out for a therapist to help manage the situation.

Truth be told, I couldn't bear the thought of speaking to my team of doctors about my emotional roller coaster. Not sure why ! Maybe it's because they are all so scientific and rational, I feel like a whinging baby if I spoke about feelings ! They are all male doctors and while they are really awesome at what they do and how they have been supporting me in regards to my healthcare needs, the idea of seeking emotional help from a stranger man feels super awkward for me.

Maybe because like you, I have always felt like I'm a strong and rational woman and can deal with everything that life throws at me. NOT(!). I have suggested for my husband to ask the doctors about therapist recommendation on my behalf without my presence - couldn't even bear the thought of being in the same room with everyone having to talk out loud about what I'm feeling ! Silly right ! :oops: Not sure if that's the right thing to do as I reckon the doctors would have to hear it from the patient directly to recommend anything ?!

By the way, I didn't know oncologist could prescribe anxiety management medications ? I would have thought you needed a psychiatrist to do that ? I'm trying to avoid the medication route and would prefer to try psychology first but then who knows as the going gets tough, I might need that too eventually. I will keep in mind to speak to the oncologist in due time.

How did you got to know about your therapist ? Did you have any criteria in looking for one ?

And yes - talking to friends and family has it's limitations and the last thing I want to be is to sound like a self-pitying broken record.
Dx @ 39 F on WW managmeent
Nov 18 - Dx of a mid-rectal tumour at T3N1M0 (2cm) 7cm from AV
Dec 18 - CRT, 28 sessions + Capecitabine at 3000mg daily
Jan - Mar - WW in place (12 weeks)
Mar'19 - MRI, PET, sig flex and biopsy ordered to determine being a WW candidate.
Apr - CCR, surgery on hold. 6 cycles of Xelox.
Aug - 6 cycles of Xelox completed
19 - Flex sig, biopsy, PET/MRI
2019 - 2023 - Every 6 mths - Full scope / Flex sig / biopsy, PET / MRI / CT every 6 months
Dec 23 - All clear 5 years on ! Thank god !

debb
Posts: 191
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:03 pm
Location: NJ

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby debb » Thu Jan 24, 2019 12:05 pm

Hi,
I get it that you don't want to appear whiny to you doctor. I felt/feel the same. I was just like you and I feel like I'm giving advice to my younger self. And there are a lot of things that I wish I did differently when I was initially diagnosed. I was overwhelmed and scared.

So, while the best thing for you to do is speak to your doctor directly, if your husband asks for help on your behalf, then you are headed in the right direction.

My oncologist did prescribe my anti-anxiety meds, but if yours doesn't, then maybe the therapist you see can do that if you need it. Or maybe see your gynecologist.(you should probably make an appt with you gynecologist anyway, to discuss the effects of radiation)

I went the trial-and-error route to finding a therapist. My insurance doesn't require referrals, so i saw the building sign for therapist in a neighboring town. It was a woman, which I wanted, and when I checked my insurance plan, this therapist was on my plan. I made the appointment and liked her enough to continue.

Dealing with cancer is like a full time job!! Lots of doctor appointments!
Good luck!
2008, Stage 3C, age 42, mom of 4
Folfox 9/08-2/09
Met to right ovary, both removed 7/10
HIPEC 8/10
VATS 7/12, right lung
10/14 Stivarga clinical trial
3/15-7/15 Folfiri & avastin
8/16 Folfiri & avastin
Break! 10 months of freedom
1/18 - 4/23 many Folfiri & Avastin
6/23 Clinical trial REGN7075. Progression
8/23 radiation to femurs and L4
9/23 rechallenged Folfox. Allergic reaction at 4th infusion
11/23 will start Bot/Bal

Jolene
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:17 am

Re: Managing erractic mood swings. Is psychologist the answer ?

Postby Jolene » Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:09 pm

debb wrote:Hi,
I get it that you don't want to appear whiny to you doctor. I felt/feel the same. I was just like you and I feel like I'm giving advice to my younger self. And there are a lot of things that I wish I did differently when I was initially diagnosed. I was overwhelmed and scared.

So, while the best thing for you to do is speak to your doctor directly, if your husband asks for help on your behalf, then you are headed in the right direction.

My oncologist did prescribe my anti-anxiety meds, but if yours doesn't, then maybe the therapist you see can do that if you need it. Or maybe see your gynecologist.(you should probably make an appt with you gynecologist anyway, to discuss the effects of radiation)

I went the trial-and-error route to finding a therapist. My insurance doesn't require referrals, so i saw the building sign for therapist in a neighboring town. It was a woman, which I wanted, and when I checked my insurance plan, this therapist was on my plan. I made the appointment and liked her enough to continue.

Dealing with cancer is like a full time job!! Lots of doctor appointments!
Good luck!


Hi Debb ! Thanks again for the response ! I know all the right things to do in my head but the emotions are holding me back. I will get around it eventually. This forum has been great help already.

It's interesting and encouraging for me to know how you found your therapist by chance ! I have been googling for some in my area but feeling skeptical about approaching them, I definitely would prefer a woman though ! My insurance plan covers "psychiatrist" but no mention of psychologist, one of the things that I gotta push myself to check whether psychologists are covered under psychiatry !

I'm probably going to try asking my general practitioner for a referral and sees what he says. I think I'm okay to talk about this with my GP but not with my team of cancer doctors, perhaps speaking to an "outsider" makes the talking easier !

Thanks for the gynecologist reminder. I just spoke to my radiation doctor this morning and inquired whether I need to see anyone to manage my early onset of menopause and his response was "what is there to manage" ? :| He briefly mentioned a gynecologist might help but wasn't too insistent on me seeing one although I feel that I should ?

I just noticed that you had your ovaries taken out from your signature (sorry about that) and all that cancer stuff going on for you. :( I assumed you experienced early menopause too ? Would you be able to share your experiences of that ? Are you on maintenance chemo at the moment ? Hope I'm not rambling on too much and being invasive ! Just really curious of others experiences !
Dx @ 39 F on WW managmeent
Nov 18 - Dx of a mid-rectal tumour at T3N1M0 (2cm) 7cm from AV
Dec 18 - CRT, 28 sessions + Capecitabine at 3000mg daily
Jan - Mar - WW in place (12 weeks)
Mar'19 - MRI, PET, sig flex and biopsy ordered to determine being a WW candidate.
Apr - CCR, surgery on hold. 6 cycles of Xelox.
Aug - 6 cycles of Xelox completed
19 - Flex sig, biopsy, PET/MRI
2019 - 2023 - Every 6 mths - Full scope / Flex sig / biopsy, PET / MRI / CT every 6 months
Dec 23 - All clear 5 years on ! Thank god !


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