I knew it was towards the end. I knew that he would not be here much longer and in knowing that, so many of our interactions were so meaningful. For two days, my husband went between lucidity and being cloudy headed. He was brutally honest in telling people to get out of his face and to stop fussing over him. He was still a gentleman through it all, trying to walk our guests to the door even though he could barely walk. He recognized my dad and mom when they arrived, and tried to tell my dad thank you for everything. He walked to the Christmas tree assisted and whispered, "Present." I was the only one who could understand him and sat him near the tree as he struggled to pick up one of the presents he bought me.
After I opened it, he smiled and came in for a kiss. Shortly after that, he rested on the couch for the rest of the day. This morning, I was able to bathe him in his bed. Before the Titans game, I changed him into his t-shirt and turned the TV up loudly so that he could hear. Prior to the game ending is when he took his last breath.
There was such a beauty in his death in that he made sure he wanted those he loved to know he loved them. He showed me love through it all, and I never left his side. He was my best friend and honestly, I am so heartbroken that it is hard for me to even think of a future without him. But, I am happy that he is no longer suffering. For those who pray, I welcome prayers for our 4 daughters who are so hurt that their father is gone.
Caregiver to DH dx with Adenocarcinoma of Small Intestine
Mar14- Small Bowel Resection (dx @31)
Apr15- Liver mets
Dec15- Liver Mets, lymph nodes shrinking.
Apr16- Liver mets gone! lymph nodes stable
Jun16- Avastin/Xeloda (MSS, KRAS)
Jul16- Maintenance Chemo
Jun18- Cancer is back in liver
Oct18- Therasphere txment (failed)
Dec 22 2018- He is no longer suffering- My Love is sleeping in Peace