kandj wrote:I have always been a giver and fixer. I am the one to organize that stuff, first to sign up, etc.
Well, then maybe no surprise you are on this board lending support to cancer patients beyond your husband who need it!! Thank you so much, it's been a rough few days and the words from the kind and wise folks here really helped.
In therapy yesterday, I talked about one of the coping mechanisms I've employed - kind of negotiating with myself to keep my chin up. Like, "OK, you have three months of chemo until your next surgery. That's only three rounds of systemic chemo... the pump chemo isn't so bad, so it doesn't count... and your first round of chemo after a chemo break is a cinch, so it won't really count either..."
So imagine my reaction when this first round back to systemic kicked my ass. ESPECIALLY given that it had no Oxy in the mix, it should have been easy, I felt so cheated!
And my side effects hit early - on my disconnect day versus day 6 or 7 like it usually does.
I was confused but this morning realized I wasn't actually coming off a chemo break - quite the opposite, I'd had FUDR being pumped into my liver until just an hour or two before systemic. So I'm guessing the build-up of that had me hit a point where the concentration of chemo in my system just happened earlier? Or maybe it's that I am still healing from surgery.
Anyway, I had two really rough days on disconnect day and the day after - couldn't eat, etc. Then I woke up today feeling miraculously better. I didn't wake up hungry, but by 10 am I had an appetite and was able to eat an egg sandwich. And so far haven't had to dash to the bathroom...
My husband gets home late tonight, I will be so happy to have him back. But his kids have been really amazing the past few days - getting themselves dinner and cleaning up after, bringing me water and Gatorade and pills and just generally checking in on me. It makes me teary thinking about it. They have good hearts and are growing up to be such good kids.