Sorry that you’re feeling this way. Of course, it’s completely understandable. Back when I felt like that (and I did) I went to therapy and I took an antidepressant. Both of those things helped tremendously. At first, I didn’t understand what an antidepressant could do to help since the fact that I had cancer was not going to go away. However, I soon noticed that this heavy sense of despair that had been following me everywhere and coloring every experience I had was somewhat lifted, and I was able to enjoy things throughout the day again. That’s the best way I can describe it.
When is your scan? I’m sending you good wishes.