Im mentally breaking

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Re: Im mentally breaking

Postby DBF » Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:24 pm

Sorry that you’re feeling this way. Of course, it’s completely understandable. Back when I felt like that (and I did) I went to therapy and I took an antidepressant. Both of those things helped tremendously. At first, I didn’t understand what an antidepressant could do to help since the fact that I had cancer was not going to go away. However, I soon noticed that this heavy sense of despair that had been following me everywhere and coloring every experience I had was somewhat lifted, and I was able to enjoy things throughout the day again. That’s the best way I can describe it.

When is your scan? I’m sending you good wishes.
6/13 Dx @ 29 Wks pregnant, 42 yo
Adenocarcinoma, mucinous features
7/13 C-sec/col resec/part. hysterectomy
8/13 Pulm embolism
8/13 Liv met
9/13 Liv resect
ADAPT: Xeloda/Celebrex
2/14 oopherectomy
10/15 obstruction surg
10/17 Scar tissue removal/vsg surg
Mom to 3 boys: 20, 9 & 5

Posts: 159
Joined: Sun May 13, 2018 10:11 pm

Re: Im mentally breaking

Postby Trying » Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:07 pm

My scan is tomorrow. Im already on anti depressants. I hate to think how hard of a time i would have without them. Thank you for your reply :)
38 yr old single mom of almost 2 yr old.
Colon cancer stage IV 10 liver mets and peri metApril 2018
Folfox as of June 2018
Down to 2 mets in liver dec 2018.

Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2016 12:06 pm

Re: Im mentally breaking

Postby CatzinDJ » Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:24 pm


As another single mother, I feel for you and for your worries. Do you have help? What state are you in? Do you have family nearby?

We all know the anxiety and having a young child only adds to it. I hope you have someone that you can reach out to.

Good luck tomorrow.
53 & Female
DX: Rectal Cancer (RC) diagnosed in Thailand
Tumor Location: Rectum
Tumor type: invasive adenocarcinoma
Tumor size: 4 mm
Tumor grade: low grade
Baseline CEA value (4.46) 5/2016
CEA 6/2/2016 4.8
Lynch- Negative.
LAR 7/13/2016 in Seatle, Wa
Home 7/18/2016.
CEA 12/9/2016 2.8
CEA 6/8/2017 5.6
Colonoscopy and Cat scan June 2017 NED
CEA 3/2018 2.9
TB latent recently diagnosed.

Achilles Torn
Posts: 114
Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:41 pm

Re: Im mentally breaking

Postby Achilles Torn » Thu Dec 06, 2018 11:14 pm

Hey Trying,

I just wanted to say this is horrible and sucks...words can’t even describe how scared and angry I get. You aren’t alone in feeling like this and we often put on a brave face here. (I’m regularly reduced to a quivering mess when I think of my kids).

Seeing a counselor at my Cancer Agency really helped me as well.

Try not to forget that while you are in tough...there are so many possibilities for things to go well for you.

There is every reason for hope.
40 yo Male. BC Canada. Sigmoid Colectomy Dec. 2016
Pathology T3N2bM1 19 of 24 Nodes Positive + tumour deposits
PET scan - Para-Aortic and Iliac Lymph node spread. Stage VI.
Moderately differentiated. MSS. KRAS/BRAF Wild.
Mutations: TP53, ERBB4, MLL3, PDCD1LG2, PRKDC, SMAD3
FOLFOX Commenced Jan 9/2017 - Avastin(Bev) added after round 1.
June 2017 Dose Reduction on Round 11 due to Neuropathy.
Good PET Scan July 2017 - on maintenance 5FU/Bev every 2 weeks until progression.

Posts: 159
Joined: Sun May 13, 2018 10:11 pm

Re: Im mentally breaking

Postby Trying » Fri Dec 07, 2018 12:00 am

I am lucky enough to have my mom living with me. Thats a huge help. Im in canada bc. Im going to get a dr. Referal to a psychiatrist. I think its needed. Thank you all for your kind words and honesty
38 yr old single mom of almost 2 yr old.
Colon cancer stage IV 10 liver mets and peri metApril 2018
Folfox as of June 2018
Down to 2 mets in liver dec 2018.

Posts: 1065
Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:46 pm

Re: Im mentally breaking

Postby stu » Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:50 am

Hope everything goes smoothly with your scan .
supporter to my mum who lives a great life despite a difficult diagnosis
stage4 2009 significant spread to liver
2010 colon /liver resection
chemo following recurrence
73% of liver removed
enjoying life treatment free
2016 lung resection
Oct 2017 nice clear scan . Two lung nodules disappeared
Oct 2018. Another clear scan .

Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Im mentally breaking

Postby Dionca » Fri Dec 07, 2018 10:54 am

You wouldn't be normal if you weren't anxious about your scan, especially the first one. I still take Ativan before going to find out my results.

Your scan will either show that Folfox is working (so you can relax until the next one) or not (in which case, they will change your treatment plan). Chances are, that it's the former, but it's a journey that requires some coping skills, as the worry itself can do you in mentally. Glad to hear you are seeking out a psychiatrist - you may not have any control over the cancer, but you can get help with dealing with it.

Do you see your oncologist on the same day as the scan to get your results, or will you have to wait for that? Either way, I wish you all the very best luck, and will be rooting for you
May 2015 right hemi CC cecum
removed terminal ileum, illeocecal valve, appendix, cecum, ascending colon, omentum
stage 3b T3 N1b MX 2/27 nodes (isolated tumour cells in 1 add'l node)
moderately differentiated
PNI - positive
LVI - positive
Folfox 12 sessions (oxi discontinued for 11 & 12)
Neulasta with 3-12 due to low WBC count
CEA at diagnosis 8.6
CEA after surgery 1.2
CEA during chemo 4.6 / 3.3 / 2.3
CEA after chemo 1.5 / 1.2 / 1.2 /1.2 /1.2 / 1.4 / 1.1 / 1.2 / 1.9 / 1.3 / 1.6 /1.4

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