Rock_Robster wrote:Hi June, sorry to hear about this - i can see why that’s stressful and not knowing makes it harder, as clearly you care a lot about him. I know you didn’t ask about this, but if he did get bad news then he will processing it in his way, and as tough as it will be you may just have to give him a little space for now.
Re cancer specifically, doctors tend not to talk of “cure” because recurrence after treatment always remains a possibility - generally they speak more about ‘remission’ or NED (no evidence of disease). That said, early colon cancers (and even some advanced ones) are *very* effectively treatable, and there are some statistics that if a patient doesn’t have a recurrence within a certain number of years, they effectively have a similar recurrence risk as a person who didn’t have cancer.
In terms of accompanying him in treatment, my suggestion would be to offer him your assistance and company as much as he wants, and also (hard as it may be), respect if he wants to do some parts of it alone. As a 36 yo male I can attest that coming to terms with my diagnosis took some time, and the desire to play the ‘strong’ male role was definitely there (you just learn pretty quick to redefine what ‘strong’ means!).
Best of luck to you both; I hope that’s it’s nothing but in the unlikely event it’s not, you’ll do what needs to be done, and you can know that there’s some amazing people, resources and support out there to help you.
Junebayon wrote: . . . let's say, if he does have it, is it curable on any stages . . .
Junebayon wrote:... which really devastated me.
Lee wrote:Junebayon wrote: . . . let's say, if he does have it, is it curable on any stages . . .
I'm coming up on a 15 years. They told me I was cured a few years back. I was an advanced stage III. At the time of my diagnoses, some people told me I had a 30% chance of being alive in 5 years. Believe me, a lot of advancement been made since my diagnoses. Today I believe they would give me 70% to 80% chance of being alive in 5 years. There are many of us survivors out there. Many that were given months to live, got aggressive treatment at a major cancer hospital or cancer treatment center are very much alive today. So don't give up the hope.
A few things, avoid Dr. Google, a lot of info is out of date or flat out wrong. There is a wealth of information here, and a lot of support. Believe me, we understand where you are coming from.
I highly recommend people getting a 2nd opinion, especially if he is dealing with a stage III or IV diagnoses.
Let him know, don't let an Onc give surgical advice and don't let a surgeon give Onc advice.
I hope in time, he includes you in. I don't know what I would have done with out all my friends and family. Cancer has a way of bring out your true friends.
Feel free to vent your fears and frustrations here. Hope this helps,
Lee
Utwo wrote:Junebayon wrote:... which really devastated me.
Junebayon, I recommend this article for you on how to talk to a cancer patient:
http://facingcancerwithgrace.com/circle-of-support/
Ring Theory
dianetavegia wrote:I was discharged and pronounced cured this October. I started off Stage III and three years later had a tiny liver met. It’s been 10 years since my original diagnosis and just under 7 since my liver resection. Studies have shown that patients who remain cancer free at 6.48 years after surgery for a small solitary met more than two years after the original diagnosis can be pronounced cured with 99% certainty.
I hope your fiancé will open up and talk with you. It could be he is going to need a bag or has been told he’ll need radiation that could affect having children or sexual activity.
Nohogirl wrote:I wish we would be at a point where i could confidently say yes cancer is curable, and my husband is the proof. We are still new with this and in the unknown ourselves. But, i have read a lot of positive posts here and also do know at least 4 people personally who have been diagnosed at least 7- 16 years ago and are now fine and enjoying life.
I think once he is over the denial/anger/devastation stage, he will eventually open his doors to you as I am sure he will need a lot of physical and emotional support.
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