Punky44 wrote:But I’m finding I personally have become just absolutely terrified of also having colorectal cancer myself (hence, a nightmare times 2.)
I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder, so these feelings come as no surprise to my family but nonetheless I am just paralyzed by fear. I am definitely scheduling a colonoscopy (waiting for the GP scheduling office to call me back today in fact) but I fear it could be weeks before I am seen.
Punky44 wrote:Did any other caregivers experience this fear? I feel bad that I’m taking any energy away from being a caregiver for my mom to freak out about myself but I just spiral so easily.
It appears what you are really asking is do any other caregivers have severe anxiety disorder. I didn't & haven't noticed others on this forum that have shared anxiety to that level. All caregivers & patients are going to have some degree of anxiety, worry, despair. I mean: How can you NOT
There is one dx'd patient so far & that appears to be your mother = Nightmare #1, period. As far as your issues, a colonoscopy now or a few weeks or even a few months out w/n change a dx for you.
No doubt you are a big help to your mom in many ways, but she gets to be the patient here, not you...@ least for now. Fear adds nothing to the equation, counterproductive. But you can't tell someone that who suffers from anxiety just due to everyday living.
Obviously w/a dx of severe anxiety disorder you have sought medical help. Consider joining an online community of others w/like dx to yours.
The last person who should know about your severe anxiety over this is your mother. She has enough to carry right now & doesn't need the guilt.
Sounds like a healthy eating plan + daily exercise may be mandatory for you to relieve some of the stress. Caregiving is a gift of love & an enormous stress. It is taxing mentally, emotionally, physically & mostly carried out in silence b/c the patient has enough to carry & process. Hopefully you have friends, others to which you can confide.