To Laura and Spazzy both, hang in there! The shock will subside. Please ask for and take any meds you think will help. I found antivan helped me sleep after being diagnosed stage 4.
Laura, you are going to need to heal so take that time. I'm sure your ONC team will be getting a plan in place for treatment options soon.
I can only relay my experience in that I had an immediate recurrence after my resection and my first chemo regimen (basically the cancer started growing all through my folfox treatment). My stage 4 diagnosis included liver and multiple lung mets, multiple omentum and retroperi implants. Long and short of it-lots of cancer. The second regimen of folfiri and avastin shrank things for a while then stopped. Currently, I'm in a clinical trial.
All I'm trying to say is that as bad as it seems, there may be an option just around the corner. A treatment to stabilize or shrink your tumors could be waiting. As it's been said many times before on the forum, everyone responds differently to chemo/immunotherapy and other procedures. New therapies are being developed regularly and should give you hope. They do me!
Good Luck to all of us in the battle!
56yo male DX 5/17, Right Hemi colectomy 6/17
Stage 3c 12 of 21 LN
7/17-12/17 Folfox(no Oxi round 9-12)
12/17 liver/lung mets-Stage 4 MSS KRAS G13D
2/18 liver doubled to 8.5cm+new met, lung mets to 1.4cm, multi peri/omen
2/18-7/18 Folfiri+Avastin(no 5FU after C2)
4/18 mets shrinking
7/18 liver/lung mets growing, Folfiri stopped
10/18 In Clinical Trial
CEA 5/17-16.2, 12/17-16.1, 02/18-43.0, 3/18-16.9, 4/18-9.0, 5/18-5.5, 6/18-6.9, 7/18-7.8, 9/18-56